Kermit

Now, where's everybody else? 

Fozzie

Oh, they're taking the monorail.

Kermit

Fozzie... the monorail doesn't come through here.

[ With a crash and a blast of steam, the front of a monorail train bursts onto the stage from the wings. ]

Fozzie

It does now!

[ The monorail door opens, and the Electric Mayhem piles out -- Animal, Floyd Pepper, Dr. Teeth, Janice and Zoot. ]

Animal

MO-NO-RAIL! MO-NO-RAIL!

Dr. Teeth

Okay... introducing Dr. Teeth -- the one and only -- and the Electric Mayhem!

Floyd

Heeeyyyy!

Animal

Oh! BABY! Hi, baby! Hi, baby!

Dr. Teeth

Oh, don't worry about Animal -- he just loves kids.

Floyd

Yeah! He ate two this morning!

Janice

Rilly? Oh, fer sure...

Kermit

All right, all right. Hey, you guys go set up for the big finale, okay?

[ The Electric Mayhem exit, and the monorail backs off the stage. ]

Kermit

Places, everybody, for the opening number! Opening number -- clear the stage! Okay. 

[ Gonzo and Bean Bunny enter, bringing canes for Kermit and Fozzie. ]

Kermit

Fozzie? Hit it!

[ They sing "Make 'Em Laugh," as scenes from old black and white silent-film comedies are projected on the set behind them. ]

Fozzie

Make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh

Don't you know all the world wants to laugh

My dad said, be an actor, my son,

But be a comical one!

Kermit

They'll be standing in lines,

For those old honky tonk monkeyshines!

Gonzo

Now, you can study Shakespeare, and be quite elite,

Bean

And you can charm the critics and have nothing to eat,

Fozzie

Just slip on a banana peel, the world's at your feet!

All

Make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh!

Fozzie

Oh, Mr. Frog!

Kermit

Yes, Mr. Bear?

Fozzie

Do you know why my uncle tied banana peels to his feet?

Kermit

No, Mr. Bear! Why did your uncle tie banana peels to his feet?

Fozzie

Because he wanted a pair of slippers! Aaaaahhhh!

Kermit

Oh, Mr. Bear!

Fozzie

Yes, Mr. Frog?

Kermit

You know, your jokes are like wine!

Fozzie

You mean, they improve with age?

Kermit

No, too much of them, and you're sick!

All

Make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh,

Don't you know everyone wants to laugh?

Gonzo

Now, you can study Shakespeare, and be quite elite,

Bean

And you can charm the critics and have nothing to eat,

Fozzie

Just slip on a banana peel, the world's at your feet!

All

Make 'em laugh... make 'em laugh...

Make 'em laugh!

Kermit

You're on my flipper.

Fozzie

Oh, sorry.