Tough Pigs Anthology

 

Giant Frogs!

May 2002

   

May Anthology  --  Anthology Contents

 

 

Part Four: The Heart of Rock 'n' Roll

 

Kermit

 

I wonder if the band is ready now?

 

Floyd

 

Yo, Frog! We are ready!

 

[ With a burst of smoke and a Huey Lewis riff, Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem appear on the stage. Janice jumps out, strangely enough, wearing a cowboy outfit, and works the crowd. ]

 

Janice

 

Okay! Like, let's put our hands together! That's it! Totally. Hey, anybody here from Florida? Wow! You came all this way? Far out! Okay, wherever you're from -- keep clapping, and get in the groove!

 

[ They sing a verse from The Heart of Rock 'n' Roll... ]

 

J & F

 

DC, San Antone, and the Liberty town

Boston and Baton Rouge

 

J & Dr. T

 

Tulsa, Austin, Oklahoma City

Seattle, San Francisco too

 

J & F

 

Everywhere there's music, real live music

Bands with a million styles

 

Floyd

 

But it's still that same old rock and roll music

That really, really drives 'em wild

 

Animal

 

Th - th - th - th - th -

 

J & F

 

They say the heart of rock 'n' roll is still beatin'

And from what I've seen, I believe 'em

 

Dr. Teeth

 

Now, the old boy may be barely breathin'

 

J & F

 

But the heart of rock 'n' roll,

The heart of rock 'n' roll is still beatin'!

 

Animal

 

STILL BEATING!

 

 

 

[ A drum solo bridges into the chorus of Shout... ]

 

Fozzie

 

You know you make me wanna...

 

Gonzo

 

You know you make me wanna...

 

Bean

 

You know you make me wanna... [ Shout! ]

 

Fozzie

 

Stick my head up and -- [ Shout! ]

 

Kermit

 

Throw my hands up and -- [ Shout! ]

 

Dr. Teeth

 

Come on now! -- [ Shout! ]

 

Janice

 

Come on now! -- [ Shout! ]

 

Piggy

 

Come on now! -- [ Shout! ]

 

Janice

 

Come on now! -- [ Shout! ]

 

Fozzie

 

Take it easy! -- [ Shout! ]

Take it easy! -- [ Shout! ]

 

Bean

 

A little bit cuter now! -- [ Shout! ]

A little bit cuter now! -- [ Shout! ]

 

Gonzo

 

A little bit greener now! -- [ Shout! ]

A little bit greener now! -- [ Shout! ]

 

Janice

 

A little bit softer now! -- [ Shout! ]

 

Piggy

 

A little bit softer now! -- [ Shout! ]

 

Animal

 

A little bit louder now! -- [ Shout! ]

 

Dr. Teeth

 

A little bit louder now! -- [ Shout! ]

 

Animal

 

A little bit louder now! -- [ Shout! ]

A whole lot louder now! -- [ Shout! ]

 

 

 

[ Zoot does a sax solo during the Hey-ey-ey-ey part. ]

 

Animal

 

A little bit louder now!

A little bit louder now!

A little bit louder now!

A little bit LOUDER!

LOUDER! LOUDER! LOUDER!

Yeah! I LOVE THIS!

... Sorry.

 

All

 

Jump up and -- [ Shout! ]

Jump up and -- [ Shout! ]

Jump up and...

Ya know, you make me wanna SHOUT!

Yeah!

 

Kermit

 

Ladies and gentlemen, Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem! Dr. Teeth...

 

Dr. Teeth

 

Right on!

 

Kermit

 

Janice!

 

Janice

 

Fer sure!

 

Kermit

 

Floyd!

 

Floyd

 

Thank you, my frog!

 

Kermit

 

Zoot!

 

Zoot

 

Huh?

 

Kermit

 

Animal!

 

Animal

 

Bye bye!

 

Kermit

 

Bean Bunny!

 

Bean

 

Ohhhh!

 

Kermit

 

The Great Gonzo!

 

Gonzo

 

See you all soon!

 

Kermit

 

Fozzie Bear!

 

Fozzie

 

Wocka wocka!

 

Kermit

 

The one and only Miss Piggy!

 

Piggy

 

THANK you!

 

All

 

And Kermit the Frog! [ Kermit bows. ]

 

Animal

 

Froggy!

 

Kermit

 

Thanks very much for coming, everybody! We hope to see you soon!

 

All

 

Bye! Bye!

 

 

 

[ The Muppets all exit behind a screen. The words "THE END" are projected onto the screen -- but then the words fall down with a crash. As the audience leaves, we can still hear the Muppets talking backstage... ]

 

Fozzie

 

Oh, boy. That was a great show, guys.

 

Kermit

 

Yeah, it really was terrific. Hey, next time, try to get here before it starts.

 

All

 

Oh, sure, sure...

 

Gonzo

 

Hey, anybody wanna share a meatloaf and marshmallow sandwich?

 

Janice

 

Oh, I'm really trying to avoid red meat...

 

 

 

[ Then they realize the audience can hear them -- sssshhh! ] 

 

 

The true, horrifying story of

the Giant Frogs

continues when the Muppets 

go on location in

Part Five: Hey A Movie

 

 

May Anthology  --  Anthology Contents

 

 

Danny@ToughPigs.com