[ The show takes place on a loading dock, behind the Muppet Theater where MuppetVision 3D is being shown. The loading dock looks like the back of a factory, labeled "A.A. CHUE FLOWER SUPPLY." The audience stands around in kind of a big parking lot. There are a bunch of props around the lot, including Miss Piggy's pink trailer, a cannon, and a bunch of movie lights. An Announcer is heard, corraling everyone over to the show, and asking for quiet on the set. But behind one of the big metal doors, we hear drums pounding... ]

Animal

OPEN THE DOOR! OPEN! MOVIE! MOVIE! MOVIE, MOVIE, MOVIE! [ The door opens, and Animal emerges, pounding on a huge drum kit. ] ANIMAL, ANIMAL, MOVIE! MOVIE! HELLO! HELLO! ANIMAL, ANIMAL, ANIMAL, DRUMS!

[ Janice and Floyd enter from another door. Floyd is playing a bass lick to accompany Animal. ]

Janice

Oh, wow! Hey, look at the people! Hey, kids! How ya doin? Far out! Awesome! Hey, stick around! We're making a movie on location!

Animal

LOCATION!

Floyd

Finally got our act together --

Animal

TOGETHER!

Floyd

Now we're takin' it on the road!

Janice

Fer sure! Now, let me introduce the Electric Mayhem band! I'm Janice, on lead guitar! [ She plays a guitar lick. ] Aren't I good? On drums, it's Animal!

Animal

ANIMAL! ANIMAL!

Janice

On bass guitar, Floyd Pepper!

[ Floyd plays a bass groove, and laughs. Zoot enters from another door, blowing on his sax. ]

Janice

And here's that ace of the axe, Zoot!

Zoot

Huh? Oh. Dig it!

[ Dr. Teeth enters, with a keyboard. ]

Janice

And the king of the keyboards, our fearless leader, Dr. Teeth!

Dr. Teeth

Yeah! Whattya say? Let's get down!

Janice

Are you ready to make a movie? I can't hear you! I said, are you ready to make a movie?

Crowd

Yeah!

Janice

So, let's do it! [ The Mayhem finish their song, and play the opening to "Hey A Movie": ]

Floyd

Crazy!

Janice

Oh, this is like so much fun!

There'll be spectacle

Floyd

There'll be fantasy

Janice

There'll be derring-do

Floyd

And stuff like you would never see

Animal

HEY A MOVIE!

F & J

Yeah, we're gonna make a movie

starring everybody...

Fozzie

And me!

[ Fozzie Bear pops up on top of a trailer, holding a director's clacker. ]

Wocka wocka!

Hey, I'm Fozzie Bear

And our show can't miss

But the cameras won't start rolling

Till I go like this!

[ He snaps the clacker shut on his nose. ]

Owwww!

Animal

HEY A MOVIE!

Janice

We can watch it all develop

Fozzie

Starring everybody, and me!

[ Fozzie spins down a slide to the stage. ]

Wocka wocka!

F & J

Strike up the band,

Everyone give a cheer!

C'mon, join in --

Fozzie

We're gonna start right here!

[ He snaps the clacker on his nose again. ]

Janice

There'll be stunts galore --

Floyd

Big explosions too --

Fozzie

He may make a mess,

but he's the best at derring-do!

The Great Gonzo...

[ A door bursts open with a bang, and Gonzo shoots out in a puff of smoke. ]

Gonzo

Ha ha ha hah!

Wow, it's gonna be a big one!

All

Starring everybody --

Gonzo

And me!

So let's hit the lights --

Fozzie

Time to shoot the scene!

All

But we can't go on,

As long as our director's green!

[ A huge green crane emerges, with Kermit seated on a director's chair. The crane bounces up and down, shaking Kermit a bit. ] 

Kermit

Who-oa! Hi, everybody! Welcome!

Hey a movie!

We're so glad you all could make it --

Starring everybody...

Animal

EVERYbody?

Kermit

Where's Piggy? Has anyone seen Miss Piggy? Hmmm.

Starring everybody...

Fozzie

Everybody?

Kermit

Um, has anybody out there seen Miss Piggy? Huh. I dunno.

Animal

PIG-GY! PIG-GY!

All

Starring everybod-eeeeeee....

[ They hold the last note for a very long time while they look around for Piggy. Finally, everyone gives up... and then Miss Piggy pops out of a side door and poses for the crowd. She's followed by her Chauffeur. ]

Piggy

Starring everybody -- and moi!

Kermit

Ladies and gentlemen, a big welcome for Miss Piggy!

[ Piggy gratefully acknowledges the cheers of her adoring crowd, who are urged on by the Chauffeur holding up an "APPLAUSE" sign. Then Bean Bunny pops out of the door right behind her, and bumps into her. ] 

Bean

And Bean Bunny too!

Kermit

Sorry, Bean!

Piggy

[ to Chauffeur: ] I told you to take a left turn at the Chinese Theater! Oh... just go away and wax the tail fins! [ to audience: ] Ah ha ha! It is moi's fans! Hello, everyone! Kissy kissy! Yes! What a thrill for vous! Moi is so pleased to see vous! Thank you! Thank you!

Bean

Hi, everybody! Bean Bunny! Pleased to meetcha! Bean Bunny, props and makeup -- glad to see ya!

Piggy

Get out of the way!

Bean

Hey! Cute outfit! Hi! My name's Bean Bunny. What's yours? Hee hee! Oh boy, I'm glad to be here. Heh heh.

Kermit

Nice of you to join us, Miss Piggy!

Piggy

Oh, Kermie darling, it is moi's pleasure!

Kermit

Could we get started, Miss Piggy? Our movie is already running late!

Piggy

Of course. I just need a teensy touch of makeup.

Bean

Did you say makeup?

Piggy

Uh huh! 

[ Bean smacks Piggy in the face with a big makeup puff. Piggy coughs and chokes. ]

Piggy

Thanks...

Bean

Any time!

Kermit

Places, everyone! Quiet, please...