Kermit

Places, everyone! Quiet, please! Quiet on the set! Could we please have some quiet, please?

Animal

[ Animal bangs on his drums. ]  QUI-ET!

Kermit

Sheesh. Thanks, Animal.

Animal

You're welcome!

Piggy

[ still coughing from the makeup ] Ach-hem. I can't see my mark. My eyes are tearing.

Kermit

All right, Piggy! This is your big scene. You're down on your luck.

Piggy

Oh.

Kermit

You're working in a flower shop. 

Piggy

Oh!

Kermit

And, most important, you are allergic to flowers.

Piggy

Ah-choo!

Kermit

Exactly. Okay, everybody ready? Ready on camera? Bean, ready with props?

Bean

Ready!

Kermit

Special effects?

Gonzo

Ready!

Kermit

Assistant Director? 

Fozzie

Ready! The Days of Swine and Roses -- take one! [ He closes the clacker on his nose again. ]

Kermit

Okay. Now, all you folks out there in the audience are going to be extras in our movie. Whenever Piggy sneezes, I want you all to yell gezundheit! Got it?

Piggy

Ah-choo!

Crowd

Gezundheit!

Kermit

Great! Hit it, Fozzie! [ Fozzie closes the clacker too close to Piggy. ] Okay, ready? On three -- everybody yell action, okay? One! Two! Three!

Crowd

Action!

Piggy

[ Sad music plays as Piggy begins her scene. ] Oh, woe is me! Moi is really a star, but I am stuck here working in this flower shop. Ah-choo!

Crowd

Gezundheit!

Piggy

Thank vous. But, someday, moi is going to make it. Even though...

[ Music starts, and Piggy sings "Can't Help Lovin' That Man of Mine" : ]

My man is shiftless...

Kermit

Who, me?

Piggy

... and good for nothin' too...

Kermit

Gee...

Piggy

But he's my man just the same.

He's never round here, when there's work to do

Kermit

What? Oh! Cut!

F & J

He's never round here, when there's work to do...

Kermit

Guys! Uh. Cue the effects!

Piggy

Fish gotta swim...

[ Bean hands a huge dead fish to Piggy, who grumbles and throws it away... ]

Birds gotta fly...

[ Fozzie comes up behind Piggy and throws a bucket of rubber chickens over her head. Piggy screams. ]

Fozzie

Yes!

Kermit

Rubber chickens?

Fozzie

THANK you!

Piggy

I've gotta love one man till I die...

[ Gonzo aims at Piggy, and shoots her with a ping-pong ball gun. She turns and growls at him. ]

Kermit

Gonzo...

Gonzo

Great effect, huh?

Piggy

Can't HELP -- lovin' that man... of... MINE!

[ As Piggy hits her high note, Fozzie moves her back a step, into position in front of the flower-shop window. When Piggy's in position, the wall around the window crashes down, just missing Piggy. She looks around, stunned. ] 

Kermit

Cut! Sensational! Gee, that was terrific, Fozzie, Gonzo, Bean! Miss Piggy... uh, Piggy, are you okay?

Piggy

... hubba hawwa habba...

Kermit

Oh, good. Now, before we shoot the big finale, let's take ten while our stagehands get things ready! Uh, Piggy -- don't you want to meet your fans?

Piggy

Fans? Did someone say fans? Moi just loves signing autographs! Hello, everyone! Kissy kissy! Yes! With you in just a moment!

Janice

Hey, like, Kermit! The band needs to do a little rehearsing!

Kermit

Good idea, Janice! While we take a break, you play some music!

Janice

Fer sure!