Kermit

That was super! You guys were fantastic! Let's hear it for the Electric Mayhem Band!

Crowd

Yaaaay!

Kermit

Okay, everybody, it's time to shoot the big finale! The camera's ready -- are you ready, Miss Piggy?

Piggy

Actually, moi could use just a teensy bit of makeup!

Bean

You got it!

[ Bean smacks Miss Piggy with the powder puff. She coughs and splutters... ]

Kermit

Okay, everybody! Remember your cue! When Piggy sneezes...

Piggy

Ahhh - choo!

Crowd

Gezundheit!

Fozzie

Ahhhh! The finale! Take one! [ He claps the clacker, too close to Piggy. ]

Piggy

Ah! Fozzie!

Fozzie

So-rry!

Kermit

On three, everybody yell Action! One! Two! Three!

Crowd

ACTION!

Kermit

[ Sad music starts again. ] Oh, Piggy -- the star of the show has hurt her leg! 

Piggy

[ gasps ] What a pity! [ She secretly giggles. ]

Kermit

Hmmm. I wonder how that happened.

Piggy

Moi simply can not imagine.

Kermit

Can you sing, Miss Piggy? Can you leave the flower shop? Can you go out there and be a star?

Piggy

Moi? A STAR? [ She pushes Kermit out of the way. ] You better believe it, buster! Hit it! [ She throws her coat off, revealing a pink and red evening gown. She begins a "42nd Street" medley: ]

Come and meet these dancing feet!

On the avenue I'm taking you to,

Forty-Second Street!

[ Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo and Bean join her in a quick tap step... ]

Hear the beat of dancing feet

It's the song I love the melody of,

Naughty! Bawdy! Gaudy! Sporty!

Forty-Second Street!

[ Piggy and Kermit tap away -- and Fozzie, Gonzo and Bean do their own tap number. ]

Fozzie

Here we go... Watch this! A bear, and a rabbit -- and... a thing! Yes! What is the bear's name? Oh! Take me home, Professor!

[ They segue into "Lullaby of Broadway": ]

F, G & B

C'mon along and listen to

The lullaby of Broadway

The hip-hooray and ballyhoo

The lullaby of Broadway

Good night, baby!

Good night, let's call it a day!

Listen to that lullaby of old Broadway!

Fozzie

Take it, Kermit!

[ Kermit enters, and does a verse of "Happy Feet": ]

Kermit

Happy feet, I've got those happy feet

Give them a lowdown beat, 

And they begin dancing!

I keep cheerful on an earful

Of music sweet,

Cause I've got hap-hap-happy feet!

[ Kermit does his own tap number, with Fozzie urging him on: ]

Fozzie

Yes... Do it! The frog can dance! Look at those flippers! Aaahhh! Oh yes! Don't hurt yourself... All right!

Kermit

I keep cheerful on an earful

Of music sweet,

Cause I've got hap-hap-happy --

F, G & B

Cause he's got hap-hap-happy --

Kermit

Cause I've got hap-hap-happy feet!

Aw, thank you! Thanks, everybody! And now -- ladies and gentlemen, the star of our movie, the one and only Miss Piggy!

[ Piggy enters in a red dress and frilly flowered boa. ]

Piggy

BIG FINISH!

[ She sings "Everything's Comin' Up Roses": ]

Things look swell! Things look great!

Gonna have the whole world on a plate!

Starting here... starting now...

Honey, everything's comin' up --

Gonzo

RAINBOWS! [ Gonzo uses a pump to inflate a huge prop rainbow balloon. ]

Piggy

[ impatiently: ]

Everything's comin' up ROSES --

[ Gonzo sticks a bouquet of roses in Piggy's face. ]

Piggy

Ah-choo!

Crowd

Gezundheit!

All

Curtain up! Light the lights!

We got nothing to hit but the heights!

We'll be swell! We'll be great!

Piggy

I can tell! Just you wait!

That lucky star I talk about is due!

Honey, everything's comin' up roses and daffodils --

[ Bean offers Piggy a bouquet of daffodils. She almost sneezes, and pushes them away. ]

Everything's comin' up sunshine and Santa Claus --

[ Fozzie throws glitter over Piggy. ]

Everything's gonna be bright lights and --

Kermit

Lollipops! 

[ Kermit offers Piggy a lollipop. She throws it away. ]

Piggy

Gimme a break!

Everything's comin' up roses --

What is THIS?

Gonzo

[ Gonzo hands Piggy a lit stick of dynamite. ]

You said you wanted a big finish!

Piggy

[ Piggy realizes what she's holding, and throws it through a door. Gonzo slams the door, and there's a huge BANG! A cloud of smoke billows out... ]

For... YOU!

[ Piggy is overcome by the smoke... ]

Ah-CHOO!

Crowd

Gezundheit!

Piggy

Thank you!

Kermit

CUT! That's a wrap! Great job, everybody! [ The band starts playing the Muppet Show theme song. ] Well, that just about brings us down to the end of another great shoot. Thank you for helping us to make our movie. You were just terrific! Give yourselves a big hand! Yaaaaaay! 

[ The Muppets all wave goodbye as they exit. ]

Animal

Bye bye!

Kermit

Hmm... I wonder if they give Oscars for this kind of movie. Thanks, everybody!

Bean

Kermit, aren't you supposed to take the lens cap off the camera before we start shooting? Oh, well.

Fozzie

Say, Kermit, was I supposed to put this film in the camera?

Janice

Oh, we should do this more often, don't you think?

Floyd

So long!

Dr. Teeth

See you later, man!

Animal

Bye bye!