[ King Ploobis is slurping out of a bowl. ]

Ploobis

Mmmm. Scred? Where's Scred? There's glitches in my milk. I had to milk the damn gorkon myself. Where's Scred?

[ Queen Peuta enters, wearing a hairnet. ]

Peuta

I don't know where he is. I've been looking for him all morning. He was supposed to give me an impermanent. You know, dear, I wouldn't be at all surprised if he had left.

Ploobis

Left? What do you mean by that?

Peuta

Well, he's been going around all week with that faraway look in his eyes... and he keeps singing the most sappy, ridiculous songs to himself! I think he's in love.

Ploobis

Scred? In love?

Peuta

Mmm hmmm.

Ploobis

The last time he fell in love was when he went head over heels for Fran Allison. Remember that? He formed the Gorch chapter of the Kukla, Fran and Ollie club.

Peuta

Hah hah. Yes, that's right -- he was gone for a week when he went to New York to try and get on her show!

Ploobis

Wait a minute. You don't suppose... Grrrurrrhhh. Come with me. We'll check out his place.

Peuta

That's a good idea.

Ploobis

It's right over here. Yeah. See this, this crater right here -- that's where he lives. Now, you get down there, see, you're small enough... [ Ploobis pushes Peuta down into Scred's crater. ] Whoops! I'll push... Get down there... You down there?

Peuta

[ down there: ] Yeah, I'm down here -- but what a mess! I've never seen such a thing! [ She clatters around. ] Ah HAH! What's this, hanging over his bed?

Ploobis

What's that? Grrrurrrhh! [ Peuta passes a framed photo up to Ploobis. ] It's a picture of Lily Tomlin!

Peuta

I'll see what else I can find... uh oh! And what's this in his waste basket? [ She passes another photo up. ]

Ploobis

What's that? Why -- it's his old picture of Fran Allison!

Peuta

Ah hah! I'll see if I can find any more clues in this rubble. Let me see, let me see... ah hah, Ploobis, I think I've found it! Look what was lying on his writing desk! [ She tosses up a crumpled piece of paper. ]

Ploobis

Well, it's, uh... looks like the first draft of a letter to Lily Tomlin!

[ Peuta pops up from the crater and reads the letter over Ploobis' shoulder. ]

Ploobis

It says, Dear Lily: I have watched with enchantment your beautiful image, when I can sneak away from my loathsome, degrading, filthy job. 

[ Peuta gasps. ]

Peuta

Read on, read on.

Ploobis

Yes. It says, mi amore enchante, je t'aime, je t'aime. Hunnhh. It says, PS, Be mine tonight, your slave in love, Scred. And then down at the bottom, it says, PS, X X X X.

Peuta

Oh! He's in love with Lily Tomlin!

Ploobis

Grrrunnhh. She has my sympathies.

[ Cut to: Scred cuddling up with Lily Tomlin, onstage in front of a black background. Lily is sitting on a stool, with Scred next to her. Scred puts his arm around her. ]

Scred

Lily?

Lily

Yes?

Scred

I've tried in so many little ways all week to tell you what a gas it's been to hang out with you.

Lily

Oh, yes you have, and I've enjoyed it myself, Scred. Um. It's just that... it's something I've been meaning to talk to you about...

Scred

Oh?

Lily

Uh... well, it's...

Scred

Spit it out! Spit it out!

Lily

Okay.

Scred

No secrets, Lily.

Lily

No, no secrets. Um -- I hope... I want you to understand... that it's, uh... well, it's difficult... not that I don't like you a lot... but it's difficult for a woman in my position...

Scred

Yes, yes?

Lily

To, um, well, to have my name linked romantically with a puppet.

Scred

Ohhhhh! Hey, that's no problem! Yeah, I feel the same way.

Lily

Well, thanks.

[ Music starts... ]

Scred

Yeah! We should keep it light! Easy.

Lily

Well, thank you, Scred.

[ Lily starts to sing. ]

Lily

They say we're young, and we don't know

We won't find out until we grow

Scred

Yeah, but I don't know if all that's true,

Cause you've got me, and baby, I got you!

L & S

Babe -- I got you, babe!

I got you, babe!

Lily

I got flowers in the spring

Scred

Yeah! And I got you to wear my ring

Lily

And when I'm sad, you're a clown!

Scred

And if I get scared...

You're always around!

Lily

So let them say your hair's too long

I don't care, with you I can't go wrong

Scred

Oh, Lily -- Put your little hand in mine

There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb!

L & S

Babe -- I got you, babe!

I got you, babe!

Lily

[ hugs Scred close and whispers: ]

I got you, babe!

Scred

[ whispers in Lily's ear: ]

I got you, babe!

[ Scred produces a single red rose, which he hands to Lily. She's delighted. ]

Lily

Ohh! Scred, thank you.

Scred

Oh, Lily...

Lily

Thank you...

[ They snuggle as the music ends. ]