[ The scene: A dusty, forgotten storage room. Grimy file cabinets line the walls. There's a rattle -- and the drawer marked SCRED starts to open. Scred pushes his way out to the open air.]

Scred

Uhh... Boy, do I have to go to the bathroom. Feels like I've been in storage for months! Hey... What is this place, a morgue? Ohh... wow, a morgue! Hey, boss! Hey, chief! Ploobis! Hey, Ploobis!

[ The drawer next to him pushes open, and Peuta emerges. ]

Peuta

Ohh! What's going on?

Scred

Peuta! Do you know we've been dead for three months?

Peuta

What? How could that be? I was sure we were just on the air. Or was that a dream?

Scred

No, that was a rerun.

[ The drawer marked PLOOBIS rattles... it's right under Peuta's drawer, and he's having a hard time pushing his way out. ]

Ploobis

Urrgh. Rrrgh. Raawwwr.

Peuta

Hey, watch it down there!

[ Ploobis struggles -- and pushes Peuta's drawer back against the cabinet. He manages to poke his snout out through a crack. ]

Ploobis

Peuta, is that you up there?

Peuta

Yes!

Ploobis

Hold your breath!

[ She holds her breath -- and he squishes her against the cabinet as he gets his head out of the drawer. ]

Scred

Hey, boss, it's you!

Ploobis

This is a resurrection! There is life after death -- and we are the living proof of it, say hallelujah.

S & P

Hallelujah!

Ploobis

This has all come about as it was predicted and spoke of in the great book.

Scred

The Bible?

Ploobis

No. Bil Baird's Book of Puppetry. Heh heh.

Scred

A-men! Yeah, and it also says that the meek -- heh heh -- shall inherit the earth.

Ploobis

Not yet, you won't inherit the earth, you wimp! Hmmph!  [ He pushes Scred's drawer and bangs Scred's head against the cabinet. ]

Peuta

Ploobis! Ploobis! Something's on fire.

Ploobis

Whuh? Oh... look!

[ Smoke drifts out of an open drawer. Wisss slowly pokes his head up. ]

Wisss

Heyyyy... Far out!

Scred

Aw, it's just a crater head.

Wisss

Oh, wow, that was some smoke! What's happenin'?

Ploobis

Hey, Wisss! Is that you?

Wisss

It never was, man! Never was... Oh, hey -- oh, no! We're back on the show?

Scred

Mmm, yeah. And what are we gonna do?

Ploobis

I don't know... I think we should ask somebody.

Scred

Yeah.

Ploobis

What do you suppose ever happened to The Mighty what's his face?

S, P & W

Oh! The Mighty Favog!

[ GONNNG! The Mighty Favog stirs from underneath a huge dirty dropcloth. ]

Favog

IT IS HUMILIATIN' TO PUT A DUST COVER UPON YOUR SPIRITUAL GOD.

[ Ploobis reaches over and pulls the dropcloth off The Mighty Favog. ]

Favog

AWRIIIIGHT!

[ Applause ]

Ploobis

Oh! Oh, Mighty Favog --

Favog

TALK TA ME.

Ploobis

Hey, listen -- we're back on the show. What are we gonna do?

Favog

LISTEN. THIS MAY BE OUR LAST CHANCE ON THIS SHOW. WE DO WHATEVER THEY WANT. GET IT?

All

Got it!

Favog

GOOD.

Wisss

Man. Whatever they want...

[ Guest host Lily Tomlin enters, looking for the Muppets... ]

Scred

Oh!

Lily

Oh, hey!  [ She kisses Scred. ]

Wisss

Dig it, Lily, man!

Lily

You know, I've been so anxious to see you, because... remember the last time we were together?

Scred

Oh, yeah -- I wouldn't forget.

Lily

Oh, it was terrific... you know, I've been reading about your new show, The Muppet Show...

Wisss

Oh, yeah. They won't let us work on that. Naw, that's family entertainment.

Lily

Family entertainment? Aren't you family entertainment?

Scred

Hell, yes!

[ Applause ]

Ploobis

Hey, well, listen, we'd be happy to do anything with you, Lily...

Wisss

Oh, yeah, anything, man!

Lily

Oh. Well, I thought maybe we could sing a song...

All

Oh, yeah, yeah!

Lily

How about "Whistle a Happy Tune"?

All

Oh, nice! Yeah!

Lily

I could start... and when the whistling starts, you can just join in and start whistling.

Wisss

Uhhh... 

Lily

You can whistle, can't you?

Ploobis

Uhhh... urrrg...

Favog

YES! THEY CAN WHISTLE!

All

Oh, yeah! Yeah! We can whistle!

Lily

Okay!

[ Piano music starts, and Lily sings: ]

Whenever I feel afraid,

I hold my head erect,

And whistle a happy tune,

So no one will suspect I'm afraid...

[ Lily starts to whistle. The Muppets all try to join in, but none of them can whistle. They gamely blow with all their might. The Mighty Favog just scrunches his face up and makes farting noises. ]

Favog

KEEP GOIN'! WE CAN DO IT.

Lily

Uh. Well, that's all right. No, listen, really... whistling's not that important. Uh. Well, I'll think of something else for us to do, uh...

Scred

But, wait! Does that mean I'll have to send back your picture?

Lily

What?

Scred

Uh... You mean, that's it?

Lily

What?

Scred

That's it?

Ploobis

Well, okay, guys...

Lily

I mean, nothing is just, that's it, I mean, I'm sorry you can't whistle...

[ Lily walks off the set, muttering to herself. ]

Peuta

Well... Don't call us, we'll call you!

Favog

BACK INTA THE BOX...

[ The Muppets squish back into their drawers. ]