Summer 2004
Hipsters and Squares
Part 9: Crazy Rhythm
So, hey, speaking of that Hipsters vs Squares dynamic, I haven't mentioned the most important Hipster/Square team: Ernie and Bert. It's hard to see Ernie as much of a hipster, really, but check out this sketch and see if you don't start thinking of Bert as the perfect square.
Cast: Jim Henson (Ernie), Frank Oz (Bert).
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(Bert chuckles as he looks at his new bass drum.)
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Ernie |
Bert! What is this, Bert?
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Bert |
Oh, oh, Ernie, hi! Hey, this is my new drum set.
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Ernie |
Drum set?
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Bert |
Yeah!
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Ernie |
Why, Bert, do you play the drums?
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Bert |
Do I play the drums? Is Big Bird yellow? Of course I play the drums -- and when I play the drums, Ernie, I am the most far out hepcat and swingy person of them all!
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Ernie |
Oh, Bert! Hey, Bert -- I'd like to hear that, Bert!
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Bert |
You would?
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Ernie |
Mm hmm!
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Bert |
Okay, okay. Stand back, and I will show you a far out super hep swinging swaying drum solo.
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Ernie |
Oh, yeah, Bert!
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Bert |
A one and a two and a --
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BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.
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Bert |
Oh, groove with me, baby!
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BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.
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Ernie |
Uh...
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BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.
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Bert |
You gotta have soul!
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BOOM. BOOM.
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Ernie |
Uh, Bert... Bert...
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BOOM. BOOM.
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Bert |
Don't stop me now!
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BOOM. BOOM.
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Ernie |
Uh, Bert, is that all you're gonna do, Bert?
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(Bert stops cold.)
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Bert |
Is that all I'm going to do? Who could ask for anything more?
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BOOM. BOOM.
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Ernie |
Well, Bert, wait a second. How about you play a different kind of rhythm, Bert?
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Bert |
What do you mean?
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Ernie |
Well, listen, suppose you could play like this, Bert. Now, listen to this.
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(Ernie plays "shave and a haircut" on his drum kit.)
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Ernie |
You see? Or you could play a slightly different kind of a rhythm. You could play a rhythm like this.
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(Ernie plays another rhythm, ending with a cymbal shot.)
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Ernie |
How about that, Bert? Why don't you play like that, Bert?
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Bert |
Ernie... let's face it. You do your kind of drumming, and I'll do my kind of drumming. We'll just never get together on it, you know?
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BOOM. BOOM.
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Ernie |
Oh, I don't know, Bert. You know, maybe we could get together on it, Bert. See, suppose you do your kind of drumming, and I'll do my kind of drumming at the same time -- why, they might sound good together, Bert!
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Bert |
That's so crazy it just might work!
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Ernie |
You start, Bert. Go ahead.
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Bert |
Oh, okay. Here we go. A one and a two and a chicka booma chick!
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BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.
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Ernie |
Okay, Bert -- I'm coming in now!
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(Ernie starts drumming, and it's so crazy that it works. Bert is keeping time as Ernie drums away.)
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Ernie |
Doesn't that sound nice, Bert?
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Bert |
Swinging!
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(They keep drumming.)
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Ernie |
How about a little faster, Bert?
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Bert |
Uh -- I'll try!
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(They keep drumming.)
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Ernie |
Here we go, Bert!
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Bert |
Oh, I've never done this before!
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Ernie |
Oh, wow, Bert! Here we go, big finish, Bert! Three! Two! One! WHOO!
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(Ernie smacks the cymbal, and the picture falls off the wall.)
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Bert |
Gracious! That was really cold. I mean, cool!
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