Anncr

We take you now to the king's castle, where our reporter, Kermit the Frog, is about to cover a historic meeting between the Miller's Daughter and Rumplestiltskin.

Kermit

Hark! This is Kermit the Frog here, speaking to you from the King's palace. And I'm here with the Miller's Daughter -- who's right back there -- and in a few moments, Rumplestiltskin is going to arrive, and he's going to take away her little baby, unless the Miller's Daughter can guess his name. Let's talk to her for a moment if we can. Pardon me, ma'am!

M's D

Mmmm?

Kermit

Ma'am... Kermit the Frog here, Sesame Street News, ma'am... I was wondering... could you come out here, and answer a couple questions, if you don't mind?

M's D

Mmmm?

Kermit

I understand that you're, um -- ahem -- I understand that you're waiting for Rumplestiltskin, is that right?

M's D

Yes, that's right.

Kermit

Mm hmm. And if you can't guess his name, he's going to take your baby away. Right?

M's D

Yes, that's right. I made a deal with him, and boy, am I sorry NOW!

Kermit

Yeah. And the fact is, you don't know Rumplestiltskin's name, do you?

M's D

No, I don't... do YOU?

Kermit

Uh. Well, no, actually, I don't.

Kermit

But I do have a surprise for you and our Sesame Street audience...

M's D

Mmm?

Kermit

Because we have set up a hotline -- we've set up a hotline, boys and girls, right here to the castle -- and if anybody here knows any information regarding Rumplestiltskin's name, if you will call us here at Sesame Street 5-55 -- that's Sesame Street 5-55 -- call us here if you have any information, and you may save this lovely young lady's baby.

M's D

Please! Oh! 

Kermit

[ The phone rings... ]  Ah! Sesame Street News? 

Caller 1

Hello, Kermit? 

Kermit

Yes?

Caller 1

Rumplestiltskin's name is Fred. Fred Rumplestiltskin. He used to be friends with my cousin Janice. 

Kermit

Oh, that's wonderful! Thank you so much!  [ He hangs up. ] 

M's D

Oh, thank you!

Kermit

Do you hear that? Rumplestiltskin's name is Fred! The baby is saved, isn't that wonderful, that a total stranger would call -- [ The phone rings again. ] -- What's that? Uh... Sesame Street News?

Caller 2

Hi, Kermit -- I watch ya all the time on television...

Kermit

Oh, well, thank you!

Caller 2

Rumplestiltskin's real name is Otto. Otto Rumplestiltskin. He used to play tag in the mud with my brother Dino. 

Kermit

You mean... it's not Fred? Well, who is this speaking, please?

Caller 2

None of your business. Let's just say it's a friend.  [ He hangs up. ]

M's D

But... I don't HAVE any friends! 

[ The phone rings again. ]

Kermit

Well, maybe this will clear things up, here... uh, Sesame Street News? 

Caller 3

Hello, Kermit?

Kermit

Yeah?

Caller 3

Yeah, you tell the Miller's Daughter that Rumplestiltskin's real name is Barry. Yeah, Barry Rumplestiltskin. He works at the car wash -- you know the one, near Smith's drug store.

Kermit

... He does?

Caller 3

Yeah. So long.  [ He hangs up. ]

Kermit

Uh...

M's D

Oh, my...

[ There's a knock at the door. ]

Kermit

Oh, good heavens -- that's Rumplestiltskin at the door now!

M's D

Oh, no...

Kermit

I must betake myself to a hiding place, here... and I'll watch the action from there... Let's see, if I just, uh... Oh -- here's a good looking place to hide. I'll get right in here. 

[ Kermit hides in an empty baby carriage. ]

R'plstkn

Well, there we are, Miller's Daughter! And here I am, right on time! Well! Have you guessed my name yet?

M's D

... Is it Fred? 

R'plstkn

Fred? You must be thinking of Janice's cousin's friend Fred. No, it's not Fred.

M's D

Well, then, is it Otto?

R'plstkn

Otto? No, that's MY cousin -- the one who likes to play tag in the mud. 

M's D

Hm. Then it must be Barry!

R'plstkn

You mean the guy at the car wash?

M's D

Mm hmm!

R'plstkn

Mm mmm, no way, not Barry!

M's D

No?

R'plstkn

Well, there you are, three strikes, and you are OUT!

M's D

Oh...

R'plstkn

My real name is... you ready for this?

M's D

Yes.

R'plstkn

BRUCE!

M's D

Bruce?

R'plstkn

Bruce Rumplestiltskin! That's right! Well, a real easy one, you missed it. So. Where's the kid?

M's D

Oh, he's out hunting dragons with his father.

R'plstkn

Mm hmm, that's what they all say. You just don't mind if I look around, do you?

M's D

No, go ahead. 

R'plstkn

Hmmm, let's see. If I was a baby in this castle, where would I be?  [ He spots Kermit in the baby carriage. ]  THERE he is!

Kermit

Listen, I'm not her baby! Uh -- tell him who I am, please!

M's D

Uhh... He likes a twelve o'clock feeding!

R'plstkn

Gotcha!

Kermit

I like a WHAT?

R'plstkn

Awww, kitchy kitchy coo! You're a cute one!

Kermit

Kitchy kitchy coo yourself! Uh... this is Kermit the Frog, I'm going to return you to your regularly scheduled program...

R'plstkn

Let's go home! Home with Uncle Bruce!

Kermit

Uh, wait a minute. Where are you taking me? Listen, I can explain this whole thing away!

R'plstkn

You can visit on weekends!

Kermit

Wait, unhand me!

R'plstkn

Oh, we'll play, and have fun...