Anncr

We take you now to Kermit the Frog for another fast-breaking news story!

Kermit

Hi ho, this is Kermit the Frog, speaking to you from the Beautiful Princess' palace, where the story is that today she is going to choose from among her loyal subjects. She's going to choose one of them to be her prince.

[ A small group of eager subjects squabble in the background. ]

Kermit

And we are waiting now for the Beautiful Princess to make her appearance, here...  [ fanfare ]  I think I hear her coming now.

[ The Princess floats in. The subjects bow. ]

Kermit

Awww, look at that, that's the Beautiful Princess!

Kermit

Excuse me, Beautiful Princess, Kermit the Frog here, Sesame Street News, I wonder if you could just answer a couple of questions for our viewers out there...

Princess

Certainly, little froggie.

Kermit

Do you know which of your subjects you're going to choose to be your prince?

Princess

Well, I don't know, but I can give you a clue... 

Subjects

Clues! Clues...

Kermit

She's going to give us a clue! Oh, wonderful. Just speak into the microphone... What is the clue?

Princess

Ahem. He has bulgy eyes.

Blue

Bulgy eyes! I have bulgy eyes. 

Green 1

Yeah, I have bulgy eyes too. Yeah. 

Orange 1

Aw. That lets me out.  [ He exits. ]

Purple 1

Yeah, well, me too. I don't have bulgy eyes. I might as well leave.  [ He exits. ] 

Kermit

Uh huh... Well, a couple of people who don't have bulgy eyes just left back there, Princess... 

Princess

Sorry, fellas!

Kermit

Can you tell us anything else about him?

Princess

Well, he has a funny voice.

Kermit

A funny voice...

Purple 2

Oh! I have a funny voice! 

Blue

Funny voice! Ho ho! Yeah, mine's pretty funny! 

Green 1

Yeah, but I don't have a funny voice...  [ He exits. ]

Green 2

I'm afraid, uh, mine's not too funny either, so, uh...  [ He exits. ] 

Kermit

Okay, well, look at that, a couple more people who did not have funny voices just left... 

Kermit

What else can you tell us about the prince?

Princess

Well, I can tell you that he has such small ears that you can hardly see them. 

Kermit

Small ears, huh?

Orange 2

Well, ha ha! Heh!

Purple 2

Well... um... I have big ears... 

Blue

You're tellin' ME!

Purple 2

That lets me out, huh? Okay, well, it was nice being here...  [ He exits. ]

Blue

So long!

Kermit

Well, uh... there again, okay, one more person there with big ears just left, uh, what else can you tell us about him, Princess?

Princess

He's wearing a hat and coat.

Blue

Hey! A hat and coat!

Kermit

A hat and coat...

Blue

I'M wearing a hat and coat! Heh heh heh! It's ME!

Orange 2

Oh... I'm not wearing a hat or coat. I guess it's not me. 

Blue

It's not!

Orange 2

I'd better leave.  [ He exits. ]

Blue

Sorry!  [ Excited, Blue rushes to the Princess' side. ]

Kermit

Well, uh, listen, Princess, we're narrowing the field down.

Blue

Ho ho! It's me, right?

Kermit

There's almost nobody left here... Is there anything else you can tell us about him?

Princess

Just one more thing.

Kermit

Oh, what's that?

Blue

What's that?

Princess

He's a frog.

Blue

... Oh. Oh, well. Guess I'm outta luck, I, uh... thought I had a chance for a minute there, I... sorry.

Kermit

Okay, well, another person left there who isn't a frog, we'll just see who's left here, uh... um... there's nobody left here, uh... wait a minute. I'M a frog. 

Princess

I know. I read in a book that if a Princess kisses a frog, he turns into a handsome prince!

Kermit

Yeah, but, uh, wait a minute...

Princess

And here I go!

[ The Princess kisses Kermit. There's a puff of smoke... ]

Kermit

Well, as you can see, I'm not about to change into any handsome prince, but, uh... 

[ Kermit turns, and finds that the Princess has turned into an orange frog. ]

Princess

Needeep! Needeep.

Kermit

Holy cow! Uh... listen, uh... you're a rather attractive young frog there, uh, Princess... Ahem. Wanna go to the hop?

Princess

Okay!

Kermit

Ah! C'mon.

Princess

Mmm.  [ Kermit and the frog Princess leave together. ]