Announcer

We take you now to Kermit the Frog with another fast-breaking news story!

Kermit

Hello, hello, this is Green Frog, calling CTW Central, do you read me? Hello? Hello, ten-four! Oh! Uh. Hi ho, this is Kermit the Frog, speaking to you from the cottage of the Poor Little Shoemaker and his wife. Now, as you recall, the Poor Little Shoemaker used up all his leather to make his last pair of shoes, and now he has no more leather, and no more shoes. 

[ The upstairs door opens, and we see the Shoemaker's shadow. ]

Shoemaker

Hey, will ya keep it down, I'm tryin' ta SLEEP up here!

Kermit

I'm sorry about that!

Shoemaker

Awright! 

Kermit

Okay!

Shoemaker

Okay!  [ He slams the door. ] 

Kermit

Hmm. Very touchy. In any case, uh -- I think somebody is coming in here now, let's see whom it is. 

[ The front door opens, and the Three Elves enter. ]

Kermit

Ah ha! Pardon me, uh, this is the cottage of the Poor Little Shoemaker, uh, can I ask whom you are? 

Squeaky

Gee, guys, look! It's Kermit the Frog, from Sesame Street News!

Kermit

In person.

Squeaky

Gee, we watch you every night!

Kermit

Oh, good. 

Elves

Yeah, yeah!

Squeaky

Oh, uh. We're elves. And I'm Squeaky! 

Sneaky

I'm Sneaky! 

Leaky

And I'm Leaky. 

Kermit

Uh huh, well, I'm sorry to hear that, but I've heard of you elves, you come to people's houses in the middle of the night and help them out, is that right?

Squeaky

You got it, frog! When they wake up in the morning, there's presents from us!

Kermit

Ah!

Squeaky

Hey -- we oughta bring them on in here. 

Elves

Right! Yeah.

Kermit

Well, viewers, you heard it, right from the elves' mouths -- these elves are going to work all night, and when the Poor Little Shoemaker wakes up in the morning, he's gonna have a whole bunch of new shoes to sell. Ah, let's watch -- here comes the first shoe now! 

[ Sneaky enters, struggling with a heavy cauldron. ] 

Kermit

Pardon me, uh, Squeaky?

Sneaky

I'm Sneaky.

Kermit

Oh, Sneaky, I forgot, uh -- what is this thing, here?

Sneaky

It's STEW! What's it look like, a trampoline? 

Kermit

Stew? No, wait a second, you're supposed to bring a SHOE! Now, stew rhymes with shoe, but you're supposed to bring a SHOE!

[ As Kermit is talking to Sneaky, Leaky comes up behind him and accidentally smacks him with an inflatable canoe. ] 

Leaky

Uh... sorry about that...

Kermit

Uh, listen, what is this? This is a CANOE!

Leaky

Yeah.

Kermit

Now, canoe also rhymes with shoe, but you're supposed to bring a SHOE, not a canoe! Uh, listen, Squeaky... 

Leaky

No, no, I'm Leaky. This is my canoe.

Kermit

... A leaky canoe?

Leaky

Yeah. 

Kermit

Phew...

[ Squeaky enters, carrying a stuffed kangaroo. ] 

Kermit

Now, wait a minute! That's a KANGAROO! Now, kangaroo also rhymes with shoe, but you guys are supposed to bring SHOES, not stews and canoes and kangaroos! Come on now!

[ All the shouting wakes up the Shoemaker and his wife, who come down onto the stairs. ]

Shoemaker

Awright -- what is going ON down here? Can't a man and his wife get some sleep? What is this?

Wife

Oh, look, Poor Little Old Shoemaker husband, dear! It's the ELVES!  

Shoemaker

Ah!

Kermit

Yeah, there seems to be some sort of a problem... they were supposed to bring you shoes, but instead they brought you, uh...

Wife

Look, stew! Ah, and a canoe! Oh! And a darling kangaroo! 

[ The Elves giggle proudly. ]

Kermit

Yeah, but you don't understand... you see, the, uh...

Shoemaker

Hey, Squeaky! Hey, all this stuff looks terrific! This is wonderful! 

Kermit

Wait a second... You know these guys?

Wife

Oh, sure... Last time, they brought us some glue, and a honeydew, and a tube of shampoo... oh, yeah, and a case of the flu...

Shoemaker

Yeah, yeah! 

Kermit

Yeah, but you still don't have any leather, and you don't have any shoes. What about your shoe business?

Shoemaker

Well, to tell you the truth, frog, I was never good at the shoe business. I think maybe I'll be a lawyer. Hey, that's it! I'll be a lawyer! Okay, line up for stew, guys!

[ Kermit watches as everyone lines up for stew. ] 

Wife

All right, I'll get bowls!

Shoemaker

Here we go!

Kermit

Well, uh... this is Kermit the Frog, speaking to you from the cottage of the Poor Little, uh, Shoemaker, or the Poor Little Lawyer, and, uh... 

Shoemaker

You're trespassing!

Kermit

Yeah... returning you to your regularly scheduled program.

Shoemaker

Get outta my house, frog! 

Kermit

Yes, there's no business like shoe business, folks.

[ Kermit leaves, frustrated. ]