Announcer

We take you now to Kermit the Frog with another fast breaking news story!

Kermit

[ Kermit talks to Cinderella and the Stepsisters. ]  Now, listen, when we get the cue, don't wave at the camera, and try not to act stupid, okay?

Stepsisters

Yeah. Okay.

[ Kermit realizes the camera is on him. The girls instantly start waving at the camera and acting stupid. ]

Kermit

Oh. Hi ho, this is Kermit the Frog of Sesame Street News, with another up to the minute update of the exciting Cinderella glass slipper story! Now, as you recall, Prince Charming gave a big party the other night, in which he fell in love with someone who left at midnight, leaving behind a beautiful glass slipper! And ever since then, the Prince has been combing the countryside, looking for the girl whose foot fits that slipper.

Kermit

And -- excuse me, right now, here comes Prince Charming right now, excuse me, Prince Charming, Kermit the Frog of Sesame Street News, can I ask you a few questions, sir! 

Prince

Why, yahs, you can, Dad always tells me to be nice to the media. 

Kermit

Mm hm. Mm hm. Uh, pardon me, who's that behind you, sir? 

Prince

Oh, that's my, uh -- ahem -- lackey.  [ to the Lackey: ]  Sit!  [ The Lackey sits. The Prince turns back to Kermit: ]  Shoot. 

[ The Prince strikes a dramatic pose, looking off into the distance. ]

Kermit

Uh huh. Yeah. Well, I understand you've been combing the countryside, and so far, you have...  

[ Distracted, Kermit tries to see what the Prince is looking at. ] 

Kermit

... uh, so far, you have not found the girl whose foot fits that slipper, is that right, sir. 

Prince

That is true, frog. I have not yet found my... True Love.

Stepsisters

Over here! Heh heh.

[ Again, Kermit is distracted by the Prince's pose. ]

Kermit

Yeah. Well, okay, well, right now you're down to the very last cottage in the kingdom...

Prince

Yahs...

Kermit

And that is the one that belongs to Cinderella and her two wicked stepsisters!

Prince

Yahs, where is that cottage, can you tell me?

Kermit

Uh, it's right behind you, sir.

Prince

Hm?

Stepsisters

Yoo hoo! Hello!

Prince

Aha. Ladies, ladies! Please step over there by the bench with your feet out. Yahs, thank you, skedaddle along, skedaddle... [ to the Lackey: ] Heel.

[ The Stepsisters and Cinderella line up. ] 

Prince

All right, ladies, all right, now who shall be first? Lackey, take the first wicked stepsister please.

Stepsis #1

Oh! Here I am!

Prince

Try it on her foot. Ohhh... I'm sorry, wicked stepsister number one, but that slipper is much too big for you.

Stepsis #1

Awwwww. 

Cinderella

Heh heh. Heh heh.

Stepsis #1

Try the other wicked stepsister. Her foot's bigger than mine!

Prince

Right, right. Raise your foot. Now, let's see here. Ohhh... wicked stepsister number two, your foot is bigger than hers, but it is still not big enough for the glass slipper. 

Prince

All right, Cinderella, your turn?

Cinderella

Me?

Prince

Yahs, you, dear. 

Cinderella

Ohhh, let it be me, let it be me...

Prince

Mmmmm... Ohhh, no, your foot isn't big enough either.

Cinderella

Oh.

Prince

Well, that's funny. Hm. Now, your foot was big, your foot was bigger, and your foot was the biggest of all... However, no one... fit the slipper...

[ The Prince starts to cry. ] 

Cinderella

Awwww... wait, you want the biggest foot of all?

Prince

I want my True Love!

Cinderella

Well, somebody else in our cottage has the biggest feet of all!

Prince

Oh?

[ Cinderella whistles. ]

Kermit

Holy cow.

Prince

... Could this be my True Love?

[ A cow enters. ] 

Cow

Yes?

Prince

Oh! Put your foot up, please. Lackey -- quickly! Ah! It FITS!

Cow

It does?

Prince

My True Love!

[ Everyone gasps as the Prince embraces the Cow. ]

Kermit

... These fairy tales are beginning to get me down. Uh, this is Kermit the Frog, returning you to your regularly scheduled shoe. Uh, show.

Prince

Hmm. Funny. You looked different that night at the palace.