Kermit

So, Gonzo, how do you think the show is going so far?

Gonzo

Oh, it's great. I can't wait to get home and watch it later.

Kermit

Gonzo, you can't watch this show later. This is a live show.

Gonzo

What? Live? You mean people are watching us right now?

Kermit

Sure, they are. Oh, welcome back, everybody.

Gonzo

Welcome back? We're on live television?

Kermit

Gonzo, the name of the show is Larry King Live.

Gonzo

Well, yeah, but I just thought Kinglive was Larry's last name. [ Gonzo starts to shake and hyperventilate. ]

Kermit

Look, Gonzo, just relax. It's not a big deal.

Gonzo

Relax? What are you talking about? In front of millions of people? I -- I've always been pre-recorded. My father was pre-recorded, and my grandfather before him was transcribed. I've really got to get out of here. I can't take this. Live TV! It's too nerve-racking. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

[ Gonzo dashes out of the studio. We see him running through the CNN studios, in a panic. He runs up to a security guard. ]

Gonzo

Hey, lady! Do you realize what a nutty place this is? They're shooting live television in there! I told them I -- [ He catches sight of the camera ] -- OH NO! Stop it! Leave me ALONE!

[ Gonzo starts running down the hall, with the camera after him. He pushes over CNN staff people wandering by. ]

Gonzo

AAAAHHH! Will you leave me alone? Lady, I'm sorry -- watch out, everybody! Look out! Everybody run for your lives! It's LIVE TELEVISION! Lady, get out of the way! Run for your lives! Look out, everybody! LIVE TELEVISION! AAAAAAAHHHHH!

[ Gonzo runs blindly through a door. We see CNN newscaster Bernard Shaw broadcasting. ]

Shaw

President Clinton is playing host to the nation's governors tonight. They arrived at the White House for --

Gonzo

Run for the hills! It's live television, everybody! Hey, wait a minute, I know you. I've seen you on TV. You're --

Shaw

Bernard Shaw.

Gonzo

Oh, what's your name...

Shaw

Bernard Shaw.

Gonzo

No, that's not it.

Shaw

Yes, it is, Bernard Shaw.

Gonzo

Oh, if you insist. But, listen, did you know that, at this very moment, we are on live television? 

Shaw

Actually, we're on tape. We pre-recorded this yesterday. Remember?

Gonzo

Hey, you're right! That's so cool. This is yesterday, and I'm pre-recorded. Wow, I feel so much better.

Shaw

And I'm happy for you.

Gonzo

Hey, Kermit, I'm gonna stay here, on tape, with Bernard Shaw. Back to you, live, in the studio.

Kermit

Yeah. Well, thank you, Gonzo. We'll check in with you later. Oh, wait, you're on tape. So I guess we'll check in with you earlier. Never mind. Listen, I'm really sorry about that, Gonzo got a little nervous there.

Carol

Well, now that he's gone, Kermit, I can give you our little gift.

Kermit

Oh, what is that?

Carol

We brought you a Thunder in Paradise hat.

Kermit

Oh, look at that. That is great.

Carol

That's the Hulkster's colors. Yellow and red.

Kermit

Can you get -- look at this. Thunder in Paradise. Yeah, I notice you're both wearing red tonight.

Hulk

Yeah.

Kermit

You match. It's very nice. Hey, listen, we have a phone call for you from Laurel, Maryland. Is that a name or a place? Hello, Laurel, Maryland.

Caller

Yeah, Hulkster.

Hulk

What's up, brother?

Caller

Yeah, I have a question for you. I was wondering how serious you are about challenging the winner of the spring stampede pay-per-view against Flair and Tugboat?

Hulk

I'm real serious about it, man. Got the itch to climb back in the ring, you know. And I've been watching these guys pretty close. And depending on who wins that match, I'm going to consider it. If I could get a world title shot, I'd love to climb back in there one more time. Yeah, maybe have Kermit as my business manager, except that Jimmy Hart is my manager. But you could be a good business manager, Kermit.

Kermit

Oh, listen, I'd love to. You know, I've never been in a wrestling ring before.

Hulk

Well, no, I just want you to maybe negotiate the deal for me.

Kermit

Oh, I see. I don't actually have to get in the ring. Oh.

Hulk

Exactly.

Kermit

Well, that's good. I don't think --

Hulk

You could be the referee, though.

Kermit

Oh, I could referee?

Carol

We'd have frog soup by the time you're done.

Hulk

Yeah.

Kermit

I'd get to wear the striped shirt. Listen, Carol, I wanted to ask, you know, you mentioned --

Hulk

What do you -- is the brother still on the phone?

Kermit

Are you there, caller? 

Caller

Yeah.

Hulk

Brother, do you think Hulk Hogan could beat Rick Flair, man? What do you think?

Caller

Well...

Kermit

Say yes.

Caller

I mean...

Kermit

Say yes.

Caller

Flair is... I mean, I've seen you guys wrestle in the other federation.

Hulk

Yeah.

Caller

And, I mean, you're much stronger than Flair, but Flair is the ultimate ring technician, and --

Hulk

Brother, what are you talking about, man! What do you mean --

Carol

Don't get him mad! He starts flailing. I might get hit.

Hulk

Oh, man! I thought you were a Hulkamaniac, dude.

Kermit

Oh, no.

Caller

I mean, I know you've taken on Muda and, you know, in your Japan matches, and I think personally that you wrestle a lot better in Japan than you do in the States. But I don't know if you could take Flair, man.

Kermit

Listen, I... well, you know, that may be true, but, you know --

Hulk

Well, you know, Flair needs a couple fans to carry him out. If I ever do get in the ring with Rick Flair, it's nice that Flair has a few fans to carry him back to the dressing room when I'm done pouncing on him, you know.

Kermit

[ who is almost certainly starting to regret doing this in the first place: ] Sure. Oh, listen, listen, those people are going to need to be there to carry the guy back, undoubtedly.

Carol

But, of course, this is going to be after we've finished filming Thunder in Paradise, because I don't want to be out of a job yet, Hulk.

Kermit

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Listen, you mentioned that you were --

Hulk

I'm getting bored. You know, on the weekends, maybe.

Kermit

You mentioned that you were shooting a lot in Florida. And you're originally from Florida, is that right?

Hulk

Yes, sir, from Tampa, Florida.

Kermit

I thought you were. You know, I spent a lot of time down there in the swamps, myself. 

Hulk

In the swamps?

Kermit

Yeah.

Hulk

Oh, at Disney World? The Disney World swamps?

Kermit

Well, I -- you know, there's swamps all around there.

Hulk

You know, I think we should write a script and have Kermit as the star.

Kermit

In Thunder in Paradise?

Hulk

Yeah.

Kermit

Wow. You know, I'm a great frog-man.

Hulk

I bet you'd be good in water.

Kermit

Sure.

Carol

Doesn't need a wetsuit.

Hulk

No.

Kermit

Do you guys do anything special to stay in shape on a shoot like this? Because I know there's the -- for those of you who don't know, on movie shoots, there's a thing called the craft services table.

Hulk

Right on the MGM lot, bungalow 2, some good friends of ours, Rich Minzer from Gold's Gym, gave us a whole gym full of equipment.

Carol

Nautilus.

Kermit

Oh, that's great.

Hulk

Yeah.

Carol

Gold's Gym. Everything.

Kermit

Maybe you could give me some tips. I mean, this is what a frog is shaped like. But I know my arms are a little scrawny.

Carol

Yeah, I think you need a couple weights there.

Hulk

Well, you've got nice frog legs there.

Kermit

Oh, well, they're very powerful. You know, that's where they got the idea for things like Navy seals and stuff. By the way --

Carol

You have nice eyes, though, so you don't have to worry...

Hulk

Yeah, he'd be a perfect Navy seal, wouldn't he?

Kermit

Well, when you play a seal, do you have to wear special makeup? Because... 

Hulk

No, in Thunder in Paradise, I have all the commando gear.

Kermit

... You don't look anything like a seal.

Hulk

Oh, of course I look like a seal. This is the Hulkamaniac costume, here.

Kermit

[ definitely regretting it at this point: ] Okay, okay. Well, listen, I want to thank you both for joining us. And best of luck with Thunder in Paradise, because it's going to be a great success, I know, because you're both wonderful.

Hulk

Well, thank you so much.

Kermit

You're very welcome. And I'm going to come down and see you at Disney World.

Hulk

Is he your type?

Carol

I was just thinking, maybe he could, you know, play a romantic lead when he comes on the show.

Kermit

Gee, do you believe in interspecies dating?

Carol

I do like the guys with big noses, you know what I mean, and scrawny little arms.

Kermit

Oh, well, gee. We'll talk about this off-camera. When we come back, folks, Mr. David Gergen, the counselor to the President. And, still to come, a very, very special surprise visitor from the White House!