Tough Pigs Anthology

 

Kermit and Piggy:

That Magnificent Hankering

February 2002

   

February Anthology  --  Anthology Contents

 

 

Part Seven : Room Service!

Kermit and Miss Piggy

on Good Morning America, February 1988

with Joan Lunden

 

Joan

 

Tomorrow is the special day for sweethearts everywhere... So what better way to celebrate than with The Couple of The Eighties? Yes, joining me now -- the Sean Penn and Madonna of the Muppet world...

 

Kermit

 

The what?

 

Joan

 

Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy. It's nice to have you both with us!

 

Piggy

 

Hello, Joan dear.

 

Kermit

 

Oh, thank you, Joan. It's very nice to be here.

 

Joan

 

Oh! And look at you... What a dress she has here!  [ Piggy is wearing a very Couple of the Eighties pink and lime outfit. ]

 

Kermit

 

Yes, it's very special.

 

Piggy

 

Could I have a close-up of the hat, please?

 

Joan

 

The hat's wonderful. I love...

 

Piggy

 

There's little kissys on the hat here.

 

Joan

 

Little kissys on the hat.

 

Kermit

 

Is that real candy?

 

Piggy

 

Yeah, don't touch it. I'm gonna eat it later.

 

Joan

 

It's a very beautiful outfit.

 

Piggy

 

Thank you very much, Joanie. You look, uh, attractive too.

 

Kermit

 

Sure. It's a nice outfit, Joan.

 

Joan

 

Well, thank you, Kermit.

 

Kermit

 

Yes, you look very pretty today.

 

Piggy

 

Yes...

 

Joan

 

Thank you! Do you two have special plans for Valentine's Day?

 

Piggy

 

Yes, they're personal.

 

Kermit

 

Um... what?

 

Joan

 

They're personal?

 

Piggy

 

Personal.

 

Kermit

 

Oh, yeah. They're personal.

 

Joan

 

Personal.

 

Kermit

 

Mmmm.

 

Joan

 

Hmm.

 

Piggy

 

Yes. We plan to have a nice little... evening.

 

Joan

 

A romantic evening?

 

Piggy

 

Mmm hmm.

 

Joan

 

What's your idea of a romantic evening?

 

Piggy

 

Well, first of all -- two of us, as opposed to three.

 

Joan

 

Okay.

 

Piggy

 

That's for starters. And, well, Kermit, as a frog, likes to be in surroundings that he's used to.

 

Kermit

 

Yes.

 

Joan

 

Like water?

 

Piggy

 

I'm not talking about a swamp... I mean, he's used to dark surroundings, which I believe are romantic.

 

Joan

 

Dark surroundings...

 

Piggy

 

Frogs are used to that.

 

Joan

 

Is he romantic?

 

Kermit

 

Uh... Do we have to talk about stuff like this?

 

Piggy

 

Trust me, it's love!

 

Kermit

 

It's a professional relationship. You know.

 

Piggy

 

I knew it.

 

Joan

 

All right, all right. This brings up a subject... There seems to be some question about your status right now.

 

Piggy

 

There is no status.

 

Kermit

 

That's true. It's a status of nothing.

 

Joan

 

I thought you got married.

 

Piggy

 

No, the status... There's no status. There's just love.

 

Joan

 

Just love.

 

Kermit

 

Uh, yes. Uh. Actually, why don't we change the subject? Why don't we talk about something else?

 

Joan

 

I'd like to know what it was about Miss Piggy that you originally fell for. What are her qualities?

 

Piggy

 

Yeah!

 

Kermit

 

Well. She's a very powerful lady. Y'know. I mean, she's, uh, she's... someone you don't tangle with, so to speak. You see. And this is one of her most attractive parts, I think. 

 

Joan

 

She has a unique personality. Unique qualities.

 

Piggy

 

But Kermie? Kermie?

 

Kermit

 

Yes, Miss Piggy.

 

Piggy

 

What about, you know, the other things?

 

Kermit

 

Oh. Well. Uh.

 

Piggy

 

About the kissy-kissies? And the huggy-wuggies?

 

Kermit

 

Yes. She's. Yes, anything you say. It's fine.

 

Piggy

 

He talks like that in public, because he's shy.

 

Kermit

 

Mmmm.

 

Piggy

 

In person... watch out!

 

Joan

 

Yeah?

 

Kermit

 

That's right. That's what I was going to say. You just watch out. That's why... Mmmm.

 

Piggy

 

We're talking GANGBUSTERS!

 

Joan

 

What is it about...

 

Piggy

 

We're talking, y'know, like, three days! We're talking, like, you know? Like, ROOM SERVICE! Look out!

 

Joan

 

Tell us something about Miss Piggy that she would just die if we all knew.

 

Kermit

 

Well. Uh.

 

Piggy

 

Or somebody else'll die if you all know.

 

Kermit

 

Well, she's an interesting sight in lingerie. I must say that. I mean. Uh, yes.

 

Piggy

 

Awww, Kermie. Isn't that sweet.

 

Joan

 

Does she wear real feminine, frilly stuff?

 

Kermit

 

It's, uh, she has all kinds of things with buckles and snaps, and stuff... It's really just...

 

Piggy

 

Are you insinuating that I wear a girdle?

 

Kermit

 

No, I don't know what that stuff is.

 

Joan

 

And I'm not about to take a guess! Tell us something -- what did you fall in love with? What are the qualities that you fell in love with, with Kermit?

 

Piggy

 

Well, to begin with... Flippers.

 

Joan

 

Flippers?

 

Piggy

 

Flippers. Number one. Then, after Flippers, I'd say Green. And then there's that certain... well, in Spanish, you say, je ne sais quoi.

 

Joan

 

Or joie de vivre.

 

Kermit

 

That's Spanish?

 

Piggy

 

Joie de viv-ra...

 

Joan

 

That's a good one.

 

Piggy

 

... about a frog. It's something that only pigs could understand. 

 

Joan

 

Okay. I'll buy that.

 

Piggy

 

You have to.

 

Joan

 

I don't have any other choice. You two have a wonderfully romantic day tomorrow.

 

Piggy

 

Don't touch him!

 

Kermit

 

Oh, thank you.

 

Joan

 

[ laughs ]  Excuse me, Miss Piggy. 

 

Piggy

 

That's all right.

 

Kermit

 

It's okay.

 

Piggy

 

Thank you. Happy Valentine's Day.

 

Joan

 

To you, too. 

 

Kermit

 

And Happy Valentine's Day out there!

 

Piggy

 

To all of vous. Kissy kissy!

 

Joan

 

We'll be back.

 

Piggy

 

We'll be back. Not us. Her.

 

Kermit

 

I won't...

 

 

Yeah, we'll be back!

The love keeps on coming

all month in the Valentine's Anthology...

 

February Anthology  --  Anthology Contents

 

 

Danny@ToughPigs.com