Esskay Meats -- Interruption

[ Sam and Kermit finish their song, and the "TV screen" goes dark. Then Omar appears on the screen, dressed in a suit and tie.]

Omar

Folks, tonight I'd like to talk about --

[ Omar is interrupted by Professor Madcliffe, a wild-eyed professor who runs into the room and talks back to Omar on the TV screen. ]

Madcliffe

Hold it! Stop the presses!

Omar

Excuse me, Professor, but I'm in the middle of a commercial.

Madcliffe

Nope, I've decided we're going to call off the commercial tonight. You're all getting sloppy on your delivery. Come up here, everybody.

Omar

The Esskay people aren't going to like this...

[ Harry and Yorick enter. ]

Madcliffe

All right now, gentlemen. We've got a problem. We're not getting the Esskay Quality story across to our audience. Here's a company that's been turning out the finest quality products for over a hundred years. And what are we doing about it?

Omar

Well, if you'd stop interrupting --

Madcliffe

NOTHING! Those listeners out there are doing the important thing when they shop. They're buying for the most important people in the world -- their family! And that means they shouldn't be buying anything but Esskay quality products, right?

Omar

Right!

Madcliffe

All right then. Let's do a good job, now. Try it, Omar. And give it some gumption!

Omar

I can't. Our time is up!

Esskay Meats -- Megaphone

[ Professor Madcliffe enters, shouting through a megaphone. ]

Madcliffe

LADIES and GENTLEMEN! Introducing the new --

[ Harry enters. ]

Harry

Hold it! Wait a minute. You can't come shouting in here. We're on the air.

Madcliffe

Blast off! I've got news that's too hot to keep! LADIES...

Harry

Hold it. Look, Professor, I'm a patient man, but what could be important enough to shout about? All this confusion could cost us our jobs.

Madcliffe

[ softer ]  Ladies and gentlemen, I'll try to remain calm as I tell you about the new Esskay idea in flavor. It's the new Esskay PORK and BACON SAUSAGE! It combines the wonderful taste of pure PORK SAUSAGE with the delicious flavor of hickory-smoked quality BACON!

Harry

Well, why didn't you say so sooner? Pork and Bacon is the brand new flavor for tasty breakfast. And it cooks to a tender, meaty richness every time.

Madcliffe

The people over at Esskay make it fresh EVERY DAY!

Harry

Get some new Esskay Pork and Bacon Sausage soon.

Madcliffe

TODAY!

Harry

Remember... with Esskay Quality meats, you can taste the difference Q-wal-ity makes.

Esskay Meats -- Kitchen

[ Kermit is in the kitchen with Esskay spokesmodel Pat. Pat is frying up some breakfast. ]

Kermit

Hey, Pat, what would most people like for breakfast?

Pat

Well, uh...

Kermit

I mean, what would really make 'em sit up and say Mmmmm!

Pat

Well, I think that...

Kermit

I tell ya, something new and delicious. Look. You take this Esskay hickory smoked bacon and Esskay pure pork sausage. And you combine 'em. Now wouldn't that taste terrific?

Pat

It does. And we're having some right now. It's Esskay Pork and Bacon Sausage!

Kermit

Them Esskay people don't miss a trick.

Pat

No, sir. It's tender pork sausage, blended with tiny morsels of bacon -- a different delicious idea from Esskay, the people who make all of their meats up to a standard, not down to a price. And it goes great with eggs! Here, now, doesn't that make you want to sit up and say --

Kermit

Mmmmmm! Folks, Esskay Pork and Bacon Sausage is another wonderful way to taste the difference Q-wal-ity makes.  [ Kermit kisses the package. ]