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| | Tough
Pigs Anthology
March
2005
New
Muppet Stuff
Extreme
Makeover: Home Edition
page
1 -- page
2 -- page 3
March
6, 2005: The Muppets appeared on ABC's Extreme Makeover: Home Edition,
helping Ty Pennington and the team rebuild the home of the Harris family,
who have the first ever set of surviving African-American sextuplets. The
Harris' home was damaged by Hurricane Ivan, and the Muppets were there to
pitch in... or maybe make things worse.

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(Host
Ty Pennington explains the situation on Day 6...)
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Ty |
So
we're running out of time, right, and we're building a house for a family
that's got seven kids... So I got us some extra help, some folks who have
been working with families a lot.
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(A
heavy box is set down on the table.)
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Ty |
And
they should be arriving... right now!
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(He
lifts up the box, revealing Fozzie and Kermit, who cough and sputter as they
take off the packing material.)
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Ty |
Hey,
you guys made it!
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Kermit |
Phew.
Oh, hi there, Ty!
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Fozzie |
I've
seen some small rooms in my time, but that was ridiculous!
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Kermit |
Mmmm.
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Fozzie |
That
box was so small --
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Kermit |
Uh,
Fozzie? Not now, Fozzie.
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Fozzie |
Oh,
good. I didn't have a punchline for that joke anyhow.
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Kermit |
Good.
Hey, we're so glad we could help; I know exactly what the Harrises are going
through. You know, as a tadpole in the swamp, I had 3,265 brothers and
sisters!
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Ty |
Really!
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Kermit |
Yeah.
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Ty |
So,
hey, where's Miss Piggy?
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Kermit |
Oh.
Well, you know how it is. She wasn't quite on board with being shipped
overnight... so they say when pigs fly, they fly first class.
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Ty |
Right.
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Kermit |
She
should be here any minute, though.
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Kermit |
Oh,
look!
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Piggy |
Oh,
oh, sorry I'm late, but my limo driver got lost on the way from the
airport...
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(Piggy
stops short when she sees Ty.)
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Piggy |
Ho-ly
maracas! Who's the guy with the hair?
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Kermit |
Oh,
that's Ty, Miss Piggy. He's the one who invited us here.
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(Piggy
makes herself comfortable.)
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Piggy |
Oh!
Hello, Ty... My name's Miss Piggy!
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(At
a loss, Ty gets to business.)
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Ty |
...
So, listen! Maybe we should all kind of get busy.
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Kermit |
Yeah,
sure.
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Piggy |
Oh,
yes! Yes!
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Ty |
What
can you guys do... Carpentry? Drywall? Roofing?
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Kermit |
Uhhh...
well, not really...
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Piggy |
Oh,
I know! I can massage your back! How about that?
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Kermit |
Good
grief. We're willing to try anything, Ty.
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Ty |
That
would be great.
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(They
all walk away, excited.)
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Ty |
I
love the hair. Are those extensions?
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Piggy |
Oh,
you...
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(After
they walk away, a box marked DANGER suddenly comes to life. With a shout,
Animal bursts out of the top of the box.)
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Animal |
MAKE-O-VER!
MAKE-O-VER! Ah ha ha ha ha!
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Kermit |
Ah.
Nothing like a little yard work to make ya feel great.
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(Fozzie
walks behind him, carrying a ladder.)
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Kermit
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Ah
-- be careful with that ladder, Fozz!
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(Fozzie
turns around to answer; Kermit quickly ducks under the swinging ladder. He pops
up, and then ducks when Fozzie swings it round again.)
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Fozzie
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Kermit?
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(Kermit
pops up again, behind Fozzie.)
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Kermit |
Phew,
he almost got me. Jeez --
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(Fozzie
swings around again, clocking Kermit and knocking him over. Fozzie shrugs, and
keeps moving with the ladder.)
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Fozzie |
Oh,
well.
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Paul
|
You
know, we take whatever help we can get -- from neighbors, from celebrities
-- and to have the Muppets come in, Kermit and the gang... they certainly
helped. They helped big time.
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(Kermit
walks by, stumbling under the weight of his box.)
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(Fozzie
comes by with a box marked FRAGILE. He trips, and drops the box -- which
falls to the ground with a horrifying smash.)
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(Fozzie
looks around, sees that nobody's watching, and picks up the box again as if
nothing happened.)
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Michael |
So
I thought they were supposed to help me. Miss Piggy's sitting there,
lounging on the chair...
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Michael |
Hey,
guys... That goes in the living room, right by the fireplace.
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(Piggy
looks down at the guys carrying the chair.)
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Piggy |
You
heard the man. Chop chop!
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(She
leans back in the chair as they carry her inside.)
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Michael |
She
didn't lift a finger. She's a diva.
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Ty |
It
was just awesome that they were a part of this thing... We had such a blast.
In fact, I think Animal is still in the house somewhere.
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(Animal
is carrying heavy boxes when he sees two girls walk by. He drops the boxes
and gives chase.)
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Animal |
WO-MAN!
WO-MAN!
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Ty |
Animal
and I should probably talk at some point about ADHD.
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Kermit |
Well,
y'know, I have to say that we were all kind of honored to be asked to be a
part of this. To be able to do something so nice for such a great family...
They're great people, and they're good to their kids... Welcome home, Harris
family! Welcome home.
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(The
next morning, Ty starts getting hyper.)
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Ty |
So,
listen, I don't know if you're aware of this, buddy, but you're wearing
slippers. It's not really a slumber party. Well, you have been working some
long hours, haven't you. Okay. Probably need to brush your teeth, right? Get
a shave in there. And then just amp back up, buddy, because guess what:
WE'VE ONLY GOT TWO HOURS BEFORE THE FAMILY COMES HOME, SO SNAP OUT OF IT,
SUNSHINE! STAY IN LINE, WE GOT A LOT MORE TO DO! LET'S DO IT!!!
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(Cut
to Ty, in an interview spot.)
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Ty |
Kermit...
The guy is just a natural born leader. He's got his own megaphone.
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(Kermit
startles Michael by shouting into his ear.)
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Kermit |
MICHAEL,
HURRY! WE ONLY HAVE TWO HOURS! WE ONLY HAVE TWO HOURS! THOSE GUYS ARE GONNA
--
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(Michael
silences him with a glare.)
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Michael |
Not
you, too...
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(Kermit
attacks Paul, who's under a bed.)
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Kermit |
PAUL,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THIS IS NO TIME FOR AN OIL CHANGE! WE HAVE TWO HOURS!
TWO HOURS TO GO! HURRY!
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Ty |
WE
GOT TWO HOURS, PEOPLE! LET'S MOVE IT! TWO HOURS!
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Kermit |
POLISH!
POLISH! POLISH! POLISH!
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Ty |
WE'VE
ONLY GOT TWO HOURS TO FINISH!
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Kermit |
COME
ON, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON! HURRY! HURRY! HURRY! AAAHH!
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(Kermit
is startled by an oncoming toy train, and runs away.)
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(Kermit
yells at a row of stuffed animals.)
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Kermit |
COME
ON, YOU MONSTERS! WE'VE ONLY GOT TWO HOURS TO GO! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH
YOU? WHAT'S --
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(He
takes a closer look.)
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Kermit |
Oh.
Not real. Heh heh.
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Kermit |
TWO
HOURS TO GO! WE ONLY HAVE TWO HOURS TO GO! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
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(They
finish up, the family comes home, and that's the last we see of the Muppets
until the end credits...)
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(Fozzie
is trying to hammer a nail with a rubber chicken. Swinging vigorously, he
smacks Paul in the face with the chicken.)
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Fozzie |
I
don't think that's gonna work. Do you have a hammer?
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Paul |
Yeah,
I do have a hammer.
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Fozzie |
Yeah.
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(Paul
looks around... and then rethinks.)
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Paul |
I
wonder if I should keep the hammer away from you.
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The
Muppets also appeared the next night
on
the "How'd They Do That?" show,
with
some more funny clips...
page
1 -- page
2 -- page 3
New
Stuff contents
Danny@ToughPigs.com
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