(Tim Daly blathers on about whatever.)

Jimmy

I heard that you don't like Sesame Street. Is that true?

(The audience goes: Awwwwwww.)

Jimmy

Can you believe that?

Tim

You know, Sesame Street is responsible for attention deficit disorder, in my personal opinion.

Jimmy

Well...

Tim

It is! Come on! (Tim does his impression of a typical Sesame-watching experience, waving his hands in front of his face as if he's being attacked by bees.) Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Flashing! Numbers! Letters! Music! Aaah!

Jimmy

I tell you what: You can take it up with Grover when he comes out. 

(The audience cheers for Grover, as naturally they would.)

Tim

And what kind of animal is Grover? 

Jimmy

Well, we'll find out, when he comes out! Tim Daly is here, Eyes is Wednesday nights at 10 here on ABC, and in a moment: Tim Daly goes one on one, mano a mano, with Grover from Sesame Street. 

(Back from commercial...)

Jimmy

Our next guest has been on television for 36 years, and somehow he still looks like a 6-year-old kid. His secret is a vigorous exercise regimen called Happy Healthy Monsters. From Sesame Street, where everything's a-ok, please say hello to Grover, everybody!

(Grover emerges through a curtain. The audience essentially loses it.)

Grover

Hello ev-ery-bodeeeeeee! Yes! Ha ha ha ha! Yes!

(Grover sits down with Jimmy.)

Jimmy

Well, welcome to the show, Grover. It's great to have you here. You must -- actually, you're probably not up this late usually, are you. 

Grover

Oh, no, no... Jimmy bay-beeeee! Oh, it is so good to see you!  

(Grover turns to Tim.) 

Grover

You? I am not talking to. 

(Jimmy laughs.) 

Grover

No, no, I am just kidding, I'm just kidding. You were great in Sideways. 

(He turns back to Jimmy.)

Grover

So, anyway, what was the question? 

Jimmy

(Jimmy takes a moment.) Wow, Grover... Whew!

Grover

Yes!

Jimmy

First of all, congratulations on the exercise video. 

Grover

Oh, thank you!

Jimmy

Now, we see there, you're getting a vigorous workout with Elmo... Are you friends with Elmo?

Grover

Oh, yes! Yes, we are great friends. I am friends with everybody on Sesame Street.

Jimmy

Who's your best friend on Sesame Street? 

Grover

My best friend? Oh... That is a toughie. You know, I would have to say, that is Froggie-baby! (to audience:) You know Froggie-baby? Kermit the Frog?

(The audience gives it up for Kermit.)

Grover

Yeah, he is a great guy. But, you do not want to go out to dinner with him.

Jimmy

Why? 

Grover

No, no, well... Do you know how frogs eat? Yeah. They stick out their tongue...

Jimmy

Uh huh.

Grover

And they... Oh! It is disgusting. No, you do not want to go out to dinner.

Jimmy

That's what Miss Piggy said, yes. She has trouble with the kissing sometimes.  

Jimmy

What about Oscar? What is Oscar's problem? 

Grover

What do you mean, what is his problem?

Jimmy

I mean, he's so unpleasant all the time. 

Grover

Well, he lives in a trash can! Wouldn't you be unpleasant if you lived in a trash can? 

Jimmy

Have you ever been in the trash can? 

Grover

No. No, no, no. I can not go anywhere ten feet within that thing.

Jimmy

Yeah, sure. Is anyone besides -- are grouches only allowed in the trash can? 

Grover

Well, no, anybody is allowed, but... Who would want to go in there? Huh?

Jimmy

Yeah. I guess you have a point. 

Jimmy

Now, you're here in Los Angeles, have you been having fun? 

Grover

Oh, I love L.A. (to audience:) I LOVE L.A.! Yes!

(The audience cheers.) 

Grover

Oh, it is great, you know, but I have learned something since I have been here. I am not much of a beach monster. 

Jimmy

Is that right? 

Grover

No, I went to the beach the other day. It was fun at first, yeah, I played in the water, I built a sand castle, and a sand king and queen, and a cute little sand family, yeah? But then I noticed something, I noticed that my nose was getting pinker and pinker. Yeah! I got sunburn! Or, in my case, rugburn. 

Jimmy

I'm sorry to hear that. Have you gone -- have you been hanging out at the Skybar? 

Grover

The Skybar... No.

Jimmy

Disneyland, maybe? 

Grover

No.

Jimmy

Have you ever been to Disneyland? 

Grover

Are you offering to take me? 

Jimmy

Yeah, sure, I'll take you to Disneyland. 

Grover

Oh! Yes! I accept, I accept! That will be so much fun. Yes.

Jimmy

I don't know if I should mention this, but you have an alter ego, um... 

Grover

What? 

Jimmy

Super Grover, a superhero that you, from time to time, will transform into... 

Grover

Yeah. It is true, it is true. The tabloids blew the cover off my story a long time ago, yeah.

Jimmy

And what powers does Super Grover have? 

Grover

Ummm... I am still trying to figure that one out, actually. No, no, I am super helpful as Super Grover. 

Jimmy

Oh, super helpful! 

Grover

Super helpful, yes! But that is something that anyone can do. Yeah. You do not have to wear a superhero cape to be super helpful.  

(Small cheer from enthusiastic audience members.) 

Jimmy

Yeah, well, that's good advice.  

Grover

Although I think you would look rather spiffy in one yourself, Jimmy.  

Jimmy

Oh, thank you very much. I remember, boy, when I was a kid, I'd see you in that Super Grover costume, and it was just the greatest thing I could ever see. Because I like your little legs, in tights, and the cape and everything like that. 

(Giggles, and a whistle from the audience.)

Jimmy

Do you wear that much? 

Grover

Ummm... For you, I will not wear it. 

Jimmy

Oh, you will not. 

Grover

No. I do not think that would be a good idea. 

Jimmy

You know who my favorite guy is on Sesame Street... 

Grover

Who is that? 

Jimmy

Who, I believe, Cookie Monster... 

(Cheer for Cookie Monster.) 

Grover

Cookie Monster! Yes! A very good friend of mine.  

Jimmy

Who clearly has an eating disorder... 

Grover

Well... It is true. He has a little bit of a cookie problem. But not any more! No! He is on a diet.  

Jimmy

Is he really? 

Grover

Yeah! He is! He is on a diet, he is only eating healthy foods, yeah, fruits and vegetables... 

Jimmy

Really! 

Grover

Yeah, yeah. And he is looking rather svelte now, too. He has lost about seventy pounds.

Jimmy

Well, that is -- 

Grover

I think it is only temporary, but you know. We are wishing the best for him. 

Jimmy

Does he work out on this video? 

Grover

No, no. He does not work out. We have not gotten him really to exercise yet, but exercise is good for everyone!  

Jimmy

Exercise is good for everyone.

Grover

It is! Yes!

Jimmy

Well, Grover -- Super Grover, whichever you want to go by -- It was great to have you here. Now, are you a fan of My Chemical Romance? 

(Big cheer from the audience for the musical guest.)

Grover

It sounds like I should be! 

Jimmy

Well, if you've never heard them, I think you're going to enjoy them, and I hope that things don't get ugly between you and Tim in the green room. I really do. I'm sure he was just... 

Grover

No, no... He was just joshing me earlier, right? 

(The ever-classy Tim Daly shrugs, and mugs for the camera.)

Grover

RIGHT?? 

Tim

Hey... I also know that the people on Sesame Street also invented Ritalin, so... It's all one symbiotic thing...

(The audience kind of boos him. He acts like he's been naughty. Grover nods.)

Grover

You just wait till later.  

Tim

Peace, peace.  

Grover

Outside! 

Tim

I'm a lover, not a fighter. 

Grover

After the show! You and me, huh? Yeah, I will be wearing my superhero outfit then, huh?! 

(Cheers. Grover wins.)

Jimmy

All right. Pick up this video for your kids -- or for yourself, what the hell -- Happy Healthy Monsters. Grover from Sesame Street is with us. We'll be right back! 

Grover

Thank you! Thank you!