Christmas 2004
Secret Santa
Part 2: Christmas Evil
Outside Santa's workshop, a boulder hides the entrance to a dark cave. The boulder moves, pushed aside by two huge monsters...
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Thig |
Hey! Dere it is! We bust open the tunnel, right next to Santa's place! Call Cosmo...
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Down below Santa's workshop, there's an underground cavern, with monsters growing and crawling on every surface. These monsters are the Frackles -- and at the moment, they're all shouting that the phone is ringing...
The phone is answered by that wicked magician, Cosmo Scam!
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Cosmo |
Cosmo Scam, King of Evil speakin', whatta ya want? Ya busted open the tunnel, huh? Good, good work. Now, grab Santa as soon as ya can! Okay? Okay!
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Cheered by the news, Cosmo goes to his bubbling cauldron to summon his genie, Lothar.
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Cosmo |
Lothar of the magic pot, tell me all the news that's hot!
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Lothar |
You called?
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Cosmo |
I certainly did. Tell me what I wanna hear!
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Lothar |
You are the fairest of them all!
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(The Frackles crack up.)
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Cosmo |
Not that, not THAT, you idiot! Tell me if my plan is gonna work.
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Lothar |
Your plan to kidnap Santa Claus?
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Cosmo |
What else?
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Lothar |
Will the plan to kidnap Santa Claus succeed? By the prophecy of the genie, and by the powers of destiny... I bring you the word.
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Cosmo |
Well, what's the word?
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Lothar |
Maybe.
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(The Frackles chortle.)
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Cosmo |
Maybe nothin'! In a few minutes... Santa will be ALL MINE!
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Up in the workshop, Santa shows Fred another magic trick, making an egg disappear. ("We'll clean that up later.") They don't realize that the monsters are lurking just outside the window, watching...
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Santa |
Say, Fred, this is your lunch hour. You shouldn't be here working.
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Fred |
Oh, gosh, Santa sir, I'm too excited to eat. After all, this is my very first Christmas with you, and I just want to help you any way I can!
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Santa |
All right, if that's the way you want it.
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Fred |
Yes, sir, it really is!
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(Excited, Fred breaks into song.)
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Fred |
I wanna help, help, help, I wanna serve, serve, serve, I wanna do my duty faithfully And never, ever swerve. I wanna do my best, I wanna serve with zest! I wanna help, I wanna help, I wanna help!
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Santa |
If I ever need assistance...
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Fred |
Call on Fred!
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Santa |
If I meet with some resistance...
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Fred |
Call on Fred!
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Fred |
If you ever get in trouble, I will be there on the double! If you come to any danger, I will never be a stranger! There is nothing you should fear, Oh, I will always be a hero! Call on Fred! Call on Fred! Call on Fred!
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Santa |
I'll remember that, Fred.
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The tempo picks up -- and as Fred gets involved with his song, the monsters sneak up and grab Santa!
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Fred |
If you're faced with a disaster, call on Fred!
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Santa |
Fred!
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Fred |
There is no one who is faster than ol' Fred!
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Santa |
FRED!
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Fred |
When the plot begins to thicken, I will never be a chicken! When the trouble starts a'brewin, I will save us all from ruin! It's the truth that I am tellin', When in danger, start your yellin'! Call on Fred! Call on Fred! Call on Fred!
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Santa |
FRED!
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Fred |
In a minute, Santa!
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Fred |
I wanna Help! Help! Help! I wanna Serve! Serve! Serve! I wanna do my duty faithfully, And Never Ever Swerve! I wanna do my best! I wanna serve with zest! I wanna help! I wanna help! I wanna HELP!
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Santa |
HELP!
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Fred |
Oh, yeah!
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Fred |
I wanna HELP... I wanna HELP... I wanna HELLLLLLLP!
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Fred |
... So that's how it is, Santa, sir. Uh, Santa? Santa? Gee, I wonder where he went.
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