Tough Pigs Anthology

Christmas 2004

 

Secret Santa

Part 5: Christmas In Custody

 

 

   

 

Sullivan

"The day of Christmas Eve wore on, and evening came... But things were not going well for Santa Claus, or his little elves."

 

   The elves are worried -- it's already 10pm. In two hours, Santa is supposed to take off on his sleigh and deliver the presents, but he's stuck in a dungeon, and so are they. 

 

Fred

Hey, I know what we should do!

 

Elves

You do? Hey, what? What should we do?

 

Fred

Well, we should escape from this dungeon, and rescue Santa Claus, and save Christmas! 

 

   The elves groan. They need a real plan...

 

   

 

   Meanwhile, in his cell, Santa shows Thig and Thog his disappearing coin trick.

 

Thig

Ho! You showed us that ten or twelve times!

 

Thog

And it hasn't worked yet.

 

Santa

Why don't you tell me what you'd like for Christmas?

 

Thog

Gosh! Can I have anything? 

 

Santa

Almost anything. 

 

Thig

Hey, can I have a new club? Mine's kinda wore out.

 

Santa

No, no. You don't ask for presents like that. You ask for something nice, like bicycles, or trucks.

 

Thog

Ooh, will you really give me a toy truck?

 

Santa

A toy truck?

 

Thog

Yeah. 

 

Santa

I certainly would... 

 

   

 

   Santa waves his hand -- and with a twinkle, he has a toy truck for Thog.

 

Thog

Wow-ee! Aaaah! 

 

Santa

All right, what would you like?

 

(Thig whispers.)

 

Thig

Well... I'd like a little teddy bear that's soft and cuddly...

 

Santa

I think I could whip that up.

 

Thig

Yeah?

 

Santa

Sure...

 

   

 

   Santa pulls a teddy bear out of the air for Thig.

 

Thig

Hey, hey! Wait a minute! Where'd you get these things?

 

Santa

By magic!

 

Thog

Magic? 

 

Thig

You're not magic. You can't even do that disappearing coin trick!

 

Santa

No, no, no. I'm really not a magician. But Christmas is magic! Tonight is Christmas Eve... and already, magic is beginning to work.

 

   

 

   Santa waves his hand, and the cell transforms. A wreath appears on the cave wall. A hole becomes a fiery hearth. There's toys and candles everywhere. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas... 

 

   

 

Santa

When there's holly in the halls,

And the wreath's upon the wall,

When the night is filled with fallen snow...

And the candles are set forth

And the star shines in the north,

Upon a quiet world below...

 

Then you know it's Christmas time,

By the laughter everywhere...

Then you know it's Christmas time,

By the magic in the air.

 

When a tree is brought inside,

With its branches spreading wide,

Fresh from summer sun, and winter snow...

When it shimmers silver bright

With tiny stars of light,

When it's hung with bells and balls and bows...

 

Then you know it's Christmas time,

By the laughter everywhere...

Then you know it's Christmas time,

By the magic in the air.

 

Santa

So now I think you understand.

 

Thig

I'll say.

 

Thog

Hey, Santa... Why are you always giving stuff to people? 

 

Santa

Well, it's hard to explain, but... giving makes a person feel very, very good. 

 

Thig

Hey, Thog... you want my teddy bear?

 

Thog

Okay. You want my truck?

 

Thig

Oh, sure...

 

Santa

Then you know it's Christmas time,

By the laughter everywhere... 

Then you know it's Christmas time,

By the magic in the air.

 

Thig

Santa... we'll let you out of the dungeon now. 

 

Santa

That would be nice, boys.

 

   

 

Cosmo

Hi there, Mr Claus! 

 

Santa

Oh! Hello, Mr Scam.

 

Cosmo

I see you've talked Thig and Thog into deserting us.

 

Thig

We're gonna help Santa deliver the presents!

 

Thog

He's just got to, cause Christmas is magic.

 

Cosmo

I see. Well, let me show you some magic of my own. Ga-probble KRUMP!

 

   

 

   With a wave of his hand, Cosmo dissolves all the Christmas paraphernalia. Now they're stuck in a bare cell again.

 

Cosmo

Now, Santa, old boy, here's a Christmas present. This lock is for you, Santa! And it can only be opened with this key. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna BURGLARIZE THE WORLD!

 

Thog

But...

 

Cosmo

Oh! Merry Christmas. Ho! Ho! Ho! 

 

Santa

Uhhh... Merry Christmas, Mr Scam.

 

   

 

   Meanwhile, Fred has cooked up a real plan. The elves have made themselves costumes, and are now disguised as rocks. To attract the guard's attention, they scream, "The elves have escaped! The elves have escaped!"

 

   

 

   The guard is horrified: The elves have escaped! He rushes off to search for them...

 

   

 

   ... and the elves quietly tiptoe out.

 

   

 

   

 

   The guard walks by, without spotting the elves sneaking through the caverns.

 

Fred

Isn't that great? That Frackle took us for granite! 

 

   Fred sings, as the elves do a little softshoe.

 

Fred

The clock goes tock,

The time has flown,

A flock of rocks

Must act alone.

Our plan is grand,

Our goal must be

To find St Nick

And set him free. 

 

   The elves slip away, in search of Santa...

 

 

Next: Frackle Rocks

 

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Danny@ToughPigs.com

 

 

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