Bert

The kids at home sang along nice and loudly, huh. That's probably because it's the most beautiful Sinterklaas song I know. It's all about getting as many presents as possible from Sinterklaas.

Ernie

No, it's not, Bert!

Bert

It's not, huh? What, do you want as few presents as possible from Sinterklaas? Maybe you won't get anything.

Ernie

I didn't get anything in my shoes this morning.

Bert

See? There you have it. I did. I found an enormous pigeon in my shoe. Made of chocolate.

Ernie

Your shoe's made of chocolate?

Bert

No. My shoe's made of shoe. But that pigeon was made of chocolate.

Ernie

Oooh, show me.

Bert

You tell me what was in your shoe first.

Ernie

Nothing. I told you, there was nothing in my shoe.

Bert

Yeah, but... how...

Ernie

And I had put two pairs of shoes by the fireplace. My regular shiny shoes, and my nice dirty sneakers. Well, when I looked at my shoes this morning to see what was in them...

Bert

Yes? Yes? Say it!

Ernie

Nothing.

Bert

What did you say?

Ernie

Nothing.

Bert

I thought you said something.

Ernie

I said, nothing.

Bert

Come on, Ernie. Tell me!

Ernie

There was nothing in my shoes, Bert! I put four shoes by the fireplace, and there was nothing in it. 

Bert

Made of chocolate?

Ernie

No. "Nothing" can't be made of chocolate.

Bert

Or marzipan?

Ernie

Or speculaas.

Bert

Oh, I like speculaas too. I once got a cat made of speculaas from Sinterklaas. Not a real cat, but one made of Sinterklaas. I mean, speculaas. Uhm...

Ernie

Keehee. Cottage cheese? An Easter Bunny?

Bert

An Easter Bunny? That's made of chocolate. But I had a cat made of speculaas. Not a real cat. A real cat is not made of speculaas. A real cat's just made of cat. And today my shoe was filled again. With that chocolate pigeon.

Ernie

I didn't get anything, Bert. I had nothing. Sniff.

Bert

Would you like half of my chocolate pigeon, Ernie?

Ernie

No, Bert, that's not necessary. You can eat your chocolate pigeon all by yourself.

Bert

Don't you even want a piece?

Ernie

No, Bert. That pigeon is yours. It was in your shoe. I don't want any.

Bert

Oh, thank goodness, Ernie, because I ate it all up at once. My stomach still hurts a bit because I could hardly eat it all by myself. But it was mine.

Ernie

Bert? Why didn't I get anything in my shoes?

Bert

Because you put four shoes by the fireplace. That looks greedy. And if you're greedy, you won't get anything.

Ernie

Oh, I did get something. Next to my sneaker, the one with a bit of poo on it, there was a note.

Bert

POO?! Ernie, you're saying dirty words!

Ernie

What did I say, Bert?

Bert

You said poo.

Ernie

Now you said it too, Bert! Keeheehee! But there was a note next to my one sneaker.

Bert

Yes... tell me what was on that note!

Ernie

The one I found next to my sneaker with a little poo on it because I had stepped in poo the other day? You mean that note?

Bert

Stop it, Ernie.

Ernie

I thought you wanted to know what the note from Sinterklaas said.

Bert

I do. Come on!

Ernie

The note said: "Look in Bert's shoe." And I looked, but your shoe was empty.

Bert

At first it wasn't. The chocolate pigeon was in there. But I ate it.

Ernie

Didn't you get a note? Or a nice poem?

Bert

No, I ate that immediately. I mean, I haven't read that yet. I didn't have time for that. I was busy eating my pigeon.

Ernie

Where is your note?

Bert

Oh, I threw it... I laid it in the wastebasket.

Ernie

Oh, I'll get it.

Bert

Give me, Ernie. It's MY note!

Ernie

Shall I read it, Bert?

Bert

No! No, I want to read it. Come on. There.

The Pigeon

This is a chocolate pigeon, made of chocolate so sweet

But listen what I have to say, before you start to eat.

Ah-ha-ha-ha! Funny poem, huh, Ernie? What shall we do? Oh, right, we can't do anything, we were waiting.

Ernie

Bert. The poem's not over yet. It goes on. Wait, let me read it.

Bert

No, not now, Ernie. Not all at once.

Ernie

That pigeon may be lying in Bert's saddle shoe

It's there for Bert AND Ernie, so this is what you do:

You break it in half, then you'll have twice the fun

But I'm about to miss the train, so now the poem is done.

Bert

That poem can't be from Sinterklaas. He doesn't travel by train. He rides a white horse. Shall we sing?

Ernie

It IS from Sinterklaas, Bert.

Bert

Let's sing "Hear who's knocking, kids?"

Ernie

It's signed "Saint and Pete," so it's from Sinterklaas. And it also says: "Pssst -- we're coming to visit you tomorrow night!"

Bert

Tomorrow night?

Ernie

Yes, but tomorrow night is now.

Bert

No. Now is now. Tomorrow night is tomorrow night.

Ernie

Bert? When did you find that note in your shoe?

Bert

This morning. Very early. Because I couldn't sleep.

Ernie

Well. So Sinterklaas won't come tonight. He's coming tomorrow night.

Bert

I'd better go to bed. Good night, Ernie. I'll put my shoes here again.

Ernie

Wait a minute.

Bert

No, Ernie. I'm going to bed. I've had enough.

Ernie

The poem was in your shoe this morning, but Saint and Pete must have put it in your shoe last night. So that means that tomorrow night is now. Not tomorrow night.

Bert

I don't get that. Explain that tomorrow, Ernie.

(KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!)

Ernie

Who's that tapping?!

Bert

Oh, Ernie, that must be him! That must be him! Oooohhh...

Bert & Ernie

Open the door for Saint Nicholas

For his white horse, and for Pete

Take him inside and ask him lots of questions

He can sit in the most beautiful chair

Tell him we're happy he's here

We are, aren't we? Am I wrong about that?

Saint can stay here as long as he wants

It's warm at our place, and it's chilly outside

So open the door for Saint Nicholas

For his white horse, and for Pete

Take him inside and ask him lots of questions

He can sit in the most beautiful chair

Ernie

Bert?

Bert

Yeah, Ernie?! Yeah, yeah?! 

Ernie

That's not knocking at the door, Bert. Listen. That's somebody using a hammer.

Bert

What a shame... I thought that was Sinterklaas knocking. Oh well, then I'll just sit in the most beautiful chair...

(RING!!!)

Ernie

Someone's ringing!

Bert

That must be him, Ernie! That must be him!

Bert & Ernie

Open the door for Saint Nicholas

For his white horse, and for Pete

Take him inside and ask him lots of questions

He can sit in the most beautiful chair

Tell him we're happy he's here

We are, aren't we? Am I wrong about that?

Saint can stay here as long as he wants

It's warm at our place, and it's chilly outside

So open the door for Saint Nicholas

For his white horse, and for Pete

Take him inside and ask him lots of questions

He can sit in the most beautiful chair

Ernie

Bert? That wasn't the doorbell. That was the telephone.

Bert

Oh no. What a shame. Who was that calling?

Ernie

I don't know. I picked up the phone and all I heard was "Beep beep beep beep beep..."

Bert

Ohhhh...

(KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK)

Bert

Yeah, I know, I know.

Ernie

Bert, who's knocking?

Bert

That's not knocking. I don't know what it is, but it's not knocking.

Ernie

Somebody's knocking at the door, Bert!

Bert

Stop kidding me.

Ernie

Open that door! That must be him! Bert!

Bert

Okay, one more time. We'll try once more... I hope it's him. I hope it's him...

Bert & Ernie

Open the door for Saint Nicholas

For his white horse, and for Pete

Take him inside and ask him lots of questions

He can sit in the most beautiful chair

Tell him we're happy he's here

We are, aren't we? Am I wrong about that?

Saint can stay here as long as he wants

It's warm at our place, and it's chilly outside

So open the door for Saint Nicholas

For his white horse, and for Pete

Take him inside and ask him lots of questions

He can sit in the most beautiful chair

Bert

Welcome, Dear Holy Man.

Grover

(stumbles in) OOOHH! May I come in? Something terrible has happened!

Ernie

Take it easy, Grover...

Grover

It is nice and warm in here. It is so chilly outdoors. Hi, Bert. Where is Ernie? Oh, there he is.

Ernie

Hi, Grover.

Grover

Hi, Ernie! OOOHHHH -- may I sit here?

Bert

No, that's Saint Nicholas' seat. You can't sit there.

Grover

Oh, I do not know him. Is he a friend of Ernie's?

Bert

No, Grover. Saint Nicholas and Black Pete. You know them, right?

Grover

Are they coming? Where? When? Why?!

Bert

They should have been here by now. But I guess Sinterklaas is stuck in a traffic jam.

Grover

But I do not want... I do not know, when he comes... Where is the closet?

Bert

Behind you. There's a closet behind you, but it's filled with clothes.

Ernie

What's the matter, Grover? Why are you so nervous?

Grover

Can I have a glass of water?

Bert

I'll get you a glass of water. Ernie, if Sinterklaas knocks, could you open the door? You can't let him stay outside too long.

Grover

It is terrible, Ernie. I got a poem in my shoe this morning, but I cannot read it at all. I can read a little bit, but after a while I cannot read any further.

Ernie

Where is it? Give it to me, I'm a good reader. I'll read it for you.

Grover

I have it right here... oh no, I FORGOT IT! Oh no, wait, here it is.

Ernie

What does it say?

Grover

Let's see. It says:

Saint and Pete don't know -- does Grover like

A nice book, or freshly baked goods -- he'll get a new bike.

And I cannot read the rest. And I did not even get a new bike. There was a car in my shoe. What could it be?

Ernie

Let's see... I can't read it very well either.

Grover

It says here I will get a new bike. But I did not get a new bike. What a mean thing to do.

Ernie

Have you looked outside, Grover?

Bert

Is Sinterklaas here yet, Ernie?

Ernie

I can't read this.

Bert

What can't you read?

Ernie

You try it.

 Bert

What is this?

Grover

It is a poem I found in my shoe. It says I will get a bike, but I did not get one.

Bert

Let's see.

Saint and Pete don't know -- does Grover like

A nice book, or freshly baked goods -- OR a new bike.

It doesn't say you're getting a bike, Grover. It's not that great a poem either. But it doesn't say you're getting a bike.

Grover

I thought I would get a bike.

Bert

No, you won't. It goes on.

Does Grover like sugar and spice, or is he wise?

Or is he afraid -- this car is beautifully made.

Grover

There was a car in my shoe. A very little car. Not a big car.

Ernie

A small car can be pretty too, Grover.

Bert

That is true.

Grover

Big cars are prettier!

Ernie

Not necessarily.

Bert

A big car can be ugly, too.

Grover

Do you know everything?

Bert

Sometimes I know everything.

Ernie

Sometimes you don't.

Bert

No, I know everything. I know everything.

Ernie

It's getting cold.

Bert

It's not cold, it's just like spring. I know everything.

Grover

Look, Ernie. This piece of lint was tied around the car.

Bert

That's not lint, that's a shoestring. I know everything.

Grover

I'd better go. I'll go visit Frans.

Bert

His name's not Frans, his name is Bing. I know everything.

Grover

I am so scared of Sinterklaas...

Bert

It's not cold, it's just like spring. I know everything.