Gloria

Please welcome my friend from Sesame Street -- Elmo!

Elmo

HI! Hello hello hello! Ha ha.

Gloria

Elmo, you are a star... Thank you for joining me here.

Elmo

Aww, hi, Gloria. Elmo's so glad to be here! Elmo's so happy.

Gloria

I'm happy too, that you're here. I feel much better now that you're here.

Elmo

Elmo heard that his good friend Rosie is out of town. 

Gloria

Yeah. She's out. I'm here subbing.

Elmo

So Elmo thought he would come over to give Gloria some tips.

Gloria

Tips?

Elmo

Yeah, yeah, tips on how to host Rosie's show. You know, Elmo's been a guest here for a lotta, lotta, lotta, lotta, whole lotta, lotta, lotta, lotta -- lotta -- lotta -- lotta, a whole mucho lotta times!

Gloria

Yeah, I know! Y'know, how come you have so much energy in the morning? My kids take a while to crank up, Elmo. 

Elmo

Oatmeal.

Gloria

Oatmeal, that's very good for you.

Elmo

With a LOT of sugar in it! No, just kidding. 

Gloria

There we go. A little caffeine in there too, Elmo?

Elmo

Okay, but listen. Here's the tips. The first thing is that Rosie is always very nice to her guests.

Gloria

Oh, I'll be nice to you. What would you like, anything?

Elmo

Rosie likes everybody that comes on her show. Except for squirrels.

Gloria

I know. I heard about those squirrels. What is it with her and those squirrels?

Elmo

Elmo doesn't know. Elmo won't even ask her.

Gloria

No. We better not touch that subject. 

Elmo

Oh, but Rosie does like to tell jokes! She's VERY FUNNY!

Gloria

Yes, she's funny.

Elmo

Can Gloria tell jokes?

Gloria

I don't know. I could try. You want to teach me one?

Elmo

Okay, here's one. What kind of fish has two knees? Anybody know out there? 

Gloria

I'm stumped.

Elmo

Don't say it. Elmo will.

Gloria

Okay.

Elmo

A Two-Knee Fish! Thank you! Thank you! Throw money! Throw money!

Gloria

Y'know, Rosie would love that. Thank you very much. I think that was great.

Elmo

Yeah. You know, Elmo and Gloria are talking about Rosie so much, that it makes... Elmo's starting to miss Rosie.

Gloria

Ohhh... Check this out, Elmo.

Rosie

[ tape recording ]  You're a cutie patootie! Yes!

Elmo

Oh! 

Gloria

Now you don't miss her so much!

Elmo

That makes Elmo feel better! Gloria? Elmo brought you a surprise.

Gloria

A surprise? I love surprises!

Elmo

Elmo has a surprise for all of you, too. So, everybody -- you cover your eyes, and all of you cover your eyes out there too. 

Gloria

Cover your eyes... Not the television audience...

Elmo

Okay, now! Open your eyes!

Rosita

Surprise!

Gloria

Rosita!

Rosita

Gloria! Hola!

Gloria

Rosita! Bienvenida!

Rosita

Oh, gracias, gracias! I'm so happy to be here!

Elmo

What did you say?

Gloria

I said welcome. You know, Rosita and I have worked together. We did Elmopalooza, she came down to Miami. Did you like Miami?

Rosita

Oh, I love Miami, it was so much fun to be there with you, and everybody else!

Gloria

That's right, we had a great time! We did a video... You're rock stars now!

Rosita

Ohh, thank you very much! Gloria... I'm so sorry that you were so upset at the beginning of the show. You know what? I think you are The Diva!

Gloria

Thank you, Rosita! Thank you very much. I was just messing with them, though. 

Elmo

Does she have to pay five hundred dollars?

Rosita

Do I have to?

Gloria

No, that was just a joke, Elmo. 

Elmo

Maybe Elmo can make Gloria feel better.

Gloria

Okay. I'll take anything you got. 

Elmo

Come closer... [ Elmo kisses Gloria on the cheek. ]

Rosita

Kissy kissy!!

Gloria

Oh, Elmo... oh, look!  [ She plays a tape cart of Rosie making kissing sounds. ]  That's you kissing Rosie, too! Now you've kissed both of us. 

Elmo

Well, what else makes Gloria feel great?

Gloria

I feel happy... singing. I love to sing. That's why I do what I do.

Rosita

Of course! Of course! And you do it very well. I heard that you are going to sing in these, like, big, huge, muy grande bowl on Sunday!

Gloria

The Superbowl! That's right! With Stevie Wonder. I'm thrilled, I love Stevie Wonder.

Elmo

Aw, go on with your bad self!

Gloria

Elmo... you're just too cool!

Elmo

Yes, too cool for the people!

Gloria

That's right! You sure are. Well, I would feel better if maybe you helped me out, because it's a big show, and I'd like to be ready.

Rosita

Yeah.

Elmo

Oh, if you're nervous, maybe Rosita and Elmo can rehearse with you!

Rosita

Definitely!

Gloria

That would be great. Let's do something. Something we both know?

Rosita

I know, I know! How about what we sang in Elmopalooza -- Mambo I, I, I! Mmm mmm mmm!

Gloria

That's a good one.

Elmo

Rosita, get down with your bad self! Okay, let's sing that song!

Gloria

Let's do it, Elmo, let's do it. Rosita, are you ready?

Rosita

I -- am -- ready!

Gloria

Hit it! Shake it, Rosita!

[ They sing a spirited "Mambo, I, I, I" ]

Gloria

Elmo! Rosita! We'll be right back! I love you, Elmo!