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August 24, 2017

The Great Muppet Casting Call: Muppets Most Wanted

Filed under: Feature — Tags: — ToughPigs Staff @ 11:19 pm

Over the past few months, we’ve cast the stars of the Muppet movies with movie stars, old ladies from our favorite sitcoms, cartoon gargoyles, and baking competition show contestants.  But now that we’re finally at the end of our Great Muppet Casting Call journey, it’s time to get serious.

We realized that the first track on the very first Now That’s What I Call Music! album is Janet Jackson’s “Together Again”, which just so happens to be the final song from Muppets Most Wanted.  What a perfect set of bookends, as we imagine what the latest Muppet film would be like if it starred Now That’s What I Call Music! albums.

Now That’s What I Call Music! Volume 3 as Kermit the Frog

SomeBODY once told me . . . that Kermit is the “All-Star” of the Muppets.

Now That’s What I Call Music! Volume 1 as Constantine

Constantine tells Miss Piggy that “I Will Buy You a New Life,” much like the Everclear smash featured on this CD.

Now That’s What I Call Music! Volume 26 as Miss Piggy

Volume 26 contains “When You’re Gone” by Avril Lavigne, a song about how her relationship didn’t live up to her dreams. It’s not as good as “Something So Right,” but we need to work with what we have.

Now That’s What I Call Music! Volume 8 as Fozzie Bear

Recently, the University of Warwick conducted a survey to find the funniest word in the English language.  They reached the conclusion that the most comical word is, in fact, “booty”.  So the Muppets’ resident funnybear should most definitely be represented by the album that contains Destiny’s Child’s “Bootylicious”.

Now That’s What I Call Music! Volume 4 as Gonzo

The album that contains “Blue (Da Ba Dee)” by Eiffel 65 describes Gonzo perfectly.  What with his whole being blue thing, plus the use of gibberish masquerading as art.

Now That’s What I Call Music! Volume 10 as Dominic Badguy

This one features a ton of the bad boys of the early-2000s music scene, including Ja Rule, Blink-182, Enrique Iglesias, Nelly, the Baha Men, and the baddest boys of all, Nickelback. Dominic would fit right in to that notorious lineup.

Now That’s What I Call Music! Volume 54 as Nadya

Volume 54 has “Shut Up and Dance” by Walk the Moon, a song that also describes how Nadya runs her prison.

Now That’s What I Call Music! UK Volume 40 as Jean Pierre Napoleon

Of course, Volume 40 of the UK series would depict Jean Pierre, as it contains “Lady Marmalade”. No, not because the chorus is in French, but because he seems overly excited over the idea of going to bed with a lady pig.

Now That’s What I Call the USA: The Patriotic Country Collection as Sam the Eagle

Yes, this is an album that actually exists.  And it sold thousands of copies.  All to Sam the Eagle.

Now That’s What I Call Music! Volume 16 as the Electric Mayhem

Volume 16 starts out with “My Band” by D12, a song about how [people] don’t even know the name of Eminem’s band. This is also true for Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, often remembered as “the Muppet Show band” or “Animal is the drummer.”

Now That’s What I Call Music! Volume 14 as Young Florist

Volume 14 featuring two songs with Boy in the title – “Girls & Boys” by Good Charlotte and The Ataris’ cover of Don Henley’s “Boys of Summer.” Young Florist is also a boy. Ergo, he is Volume 14.

Now That’s What I Call Music! Volume 12 as the Gulag Prisoners

Volume 12 features solo hits by two different members of *NSYNC – Justin Timberlake and JC Chasez. Since Timberlake is a triple threat, this is a natural fit.

Now That’s What I Call Music! Volume 40 as Scooter

Not only does this album start out with “Moves Like Jagger,” it also contains something like “Mr. Saxobeat,” which has a similar name to “Mr. Bassman.” Volume 40 has Scooter written all over it!

Now That’s What I Call Music! Volume 33 as Beauregard

“Hey, Soul Sister” by Train is on this album. In the movie, Beauregard drives a train. This isn’t rocket science, people!

Many thanks to everyone who stuck it out with us through this entire series.  And we apologize for wasting everyone’s precious time.  Especially ours.

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by Joe Hennes and Anthony Strand



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