When the Tale of Sand script surfaced in the Henson Company archives, I’m sure the Henson folks were tempted to try producing it as an actual film.  With today’s movie technology, you can create all that stuff semi-convincingly with a greenscreen and some CGI.

But they didn’t make a movie, they teamed with Archaia Comics to make a graphic novel, which was (FINALLY!)  released last month. Archaia has done great work with translating existing Henson properties to comics, and the comics medium proves to be the right choice for this project.  With Jim and Jerry gone, any producers or directors would have had an enormous responsibility to do justice to their great “lost” work, and besides that, any kind of mainstream production would probably have required some cuts to the original screenplay, but this format allows us to experience Jim and Jerry’s entire story without constantly asking, “Is that really how they would have done it?”

The first thing you notice when you hold this book in your hands is how pretty it is.  The price tag reads $29.95, but I would have easily expected to pay ten dollars more than that.  It’s a lovely hardcover with a simple but appealing design, and it even has a little ribbony thing that I think is meant to be used as a bookmark.  As if any Henson fan could restrain themselves from devouring the whole book in one sitting!

I’m a pretty big comic book geek, but I had never heard of Ramón K. Pérez before this book was announced, so I wondered why Archaia and Henson didn’t choose a more high-profile artist, but now I can’t imagine another artist doing any better with the material.  I’d be interested to know how much instruction he got from the Henson Company and how much creative freedom he had in interpreting what was obviously a crazy script, but the result is fantastically readable.

The layouts vary — sometimes the pages are crowded with panels, sometimes there are full-age drawings with no panel borders at all.  Sometimes pages and pages go by without dialogue, so the art has to carry all of the action.  But it’s never confusing, which is pretty impressive for a story that features stuff like a guy getting chased through the desert by an Arabian army and a football team.

I also want to mention the colors, an aspect of comics that I don’t even notice most of the time.  Ian Herring is credited as colorist alongside Pérez, and the colors are just as beautiful as the art itself. The script is called Tale of Sand, and it takes place in the desert, so as you might guess, there’s an abundance of sand in it. But the clever, not-always-naturalistic coloring prevents the whole book from being page after page of orange or brown.

Oh hey, what about the story?  It’s good too!  Although Henson and Juhl were geniuses, not every single thing they ever worked on was pure gold, so it would have been unfortunate but not impossible for Tale of Sand to be lousy.  And it’s altogether likely that some of those Hollywood producers who rejected the project just didn’t like it.  But it’s a rollicking good time, with tons of weird, funny moments, and you really never can guess what’s going to happen next.  If you like Timepiece and The Cube, you’re going to like Tale of Sand.  It feels exactly like the next project Jim and Jerry would start on after The Cube, with similar themes and an all-around similar vibe.

In The Cube, you have a guy stuck in an inescapable prison which may or may not represent life itself, as a series of unusual characters enter, torment him, and exit.  Tale of Sand gives its lead character a bigger space to inhabit and the ability to explore it, but as in The Cube he’s hampered by bizarre happenings that are beyond his control or understanding.

The protagonist is Mac, a “muscular, stocky man in his late thirties,” according to the screenplay (excerpts of which are cleverly integrated into the art at various intervals).  As the story begins, he finds himself in an old Western town, where all the citizens have gathered for a celebration, which turns out to be in honor of Mac.  Apparently, he’s supposed to go on some kind of journey, and everyone is really excited about it.  The town sheriff gives Mac a debriefing that doesn’t explain anything at all, hands him a map, and sends him off into the desert.

And that’s pretty much the premise of the thing.  There’s no formal beginning/middle/end structure, and if Mac learns anything over the course of the book, I couldn’t tell you what it is.  There is conflict, though, and plenty of it… Mac has to pass numerous obstacles, some dangerous and some ridiculous, and throughout his expedition, a mysterious man appears to make life difficult for him. (He’s not identified in dialogue, but the script calls him Patch.)

Just as there’s no plot, there’s no character development to speak of.  Mac is just a guy — we don’t know anything about him, or where he came from.  He exists only to move from one strange and surreal situation to the next.  That’s probably another good reason this is a graphic novel and not a real film… If it were a film, we’d be talking about how a proper movie needs a three-dimensional lead character, but the visual emphasis provided by the comic book format makes it matter less.

I guess it’s cliché to make this analogy in a book review, but Tale of Sand is like a ride… There are sudden drops and turns and loops that are kind of disorienting, but it’s all so entertaining that it’s worth it.  It’s not like a Muppet production, but it’s unmistakably a product of the Muppet guys. Their sense of humor is present throughout, and as the Archaia folks have pointed out, even the western setting echoes (or whatever the opposite of echo is, as Sand was written first) the ghost town from The Muppet Movie.  For this screenplay to have been uncovered from the depths of the Henson archives and turned into a work of art that we can own and enjoy over and over again is the happiest possible ending this Tale could have had.

Click here to walk through a field of bear traps on the Tough Pigs forum!

by Ryan Roe – Ryan@ToughPigs.com

Sesame Street’s latest interactive app for the iPhone/iPad/iPod Touch is Another Monster at the End of This Book, based on the 1996 book (the sequel to the classic A Monster at the End of This Book)and available RIGHT NOW at the iTunes store.  For this review, we sought the opinions of some critics who are a little closer to the target audience than we are: Seven-year-old Carter Rollins and his brother, nine-year-old Miles Rollins.  Here are their thoughts.

CARTER:  I liked The Monster at the End of This Book, and read it and play it a lot.  My dad got the new app with Elmo and Grover this week, and I like it even more.  They’re kind of the same app, with Grover reading the book to you, but this one has Elmo in it too.

CARTER:  I like that Elmo wants you to keep reading the book, and helps you turn the pages.  Grover doesn’t want you to, because he’s scared of the monster.  There are some games on some pages, like taking paper clips off of the pages so you can turn them.

MILES: You can also add paper clips to the pages to make the game last longer, and Grover will help you put more paper clips on, and Elmo wants you to take them off.  My favorite part is a game with blocks that you can use to build up a wall and break it down.

CARTER:  The Glue Page is my favorite—you help Grover by spreading more glue on the pages, so Elmo can’t turn them.  But you can also clean off the glue and help Elmo.  There’s a game with a steel door that’s also fun, you just need to match the colors to open the door.  At the end, I like how Grover and Elmo scare each other and think they’re the monster, and say “YOU! YOU! YOU! YOU! YOU! YOU!” lots of times.

CARTER:  I liked this app better than the one with just Grover.  Grover and Elmo are funny together, and you get to play more games and do new stuff with them.  I like the old app too, but this one is more fun for me.

MILES: Both of the apps are fun.  I like the first Monster at the End of This Book better, because you can do more things with the bricks and ropes.  I also like how you can tickle Grover in that one.

CARTER:  Grover’s a MONSTER! He shouldn’t be AFRAID of monsters.  The next book should have Oscar the Grouch with Elmo and Grover.  That would be funny.

MILES:  I think the next one should have Grover with Bert and Ernie and Rubber Duckie.

Thanks to Carter, Miles, and their dad for this review!  Click here to spread glue on the Tough Pigs forum!

When the guys at Tough Pigs asked me to review “The Muppets” soundtrack, I said of course, but I had one caveat: I wanted to see the movie first. And having done that, I can now write down my thoughts on the music of the film we’ve all been waiting for.

But first, a word, if I may:

In my opinion, there is almost no way to write this soundtrack review without telling you about the movie. It’s a Muppet musical, folks, and musicals are gonna give away some plot points in their lyrics. The reason I didn’t want to listen to the soundtrack before seeing the film was that I wanted to experience the songs for the first time on the big screen, to have these songs forever linked to the images I saw on the big screen. And I’m extremely glad I did that.

So this is a soundtrack review, sure, but you’re going to be getting a little bit of a movie review in there, too. They just go hand-in-hand. Like peanut butter and jelly. Pet fish and plastic castles. Muppets and … music.

I also have a confession to make. I listened to a few tracks of this soundtrack beforehand. I tried so not to, to avoid at the very least the sweeping music that I would be humming for weeks after seeing “The Muppets.” And while I knew some of these songs already, I caved in a little when “Life’s A Happy Song” debuted online a few weeks ago. It was more of a litmus test than anything else; I wanted to hear what Bret McKenzie, the film’s music supervisor and one-half of the folk-comedy band Flight of the Conchords (As if you didn’t know that by now) came up with.

And my verdict on this track was a resounding “Yayyyyy!” McKenzie has tapped into something very Muppety with this opening song and has given us a tune that you will be whistling, or humming, or if you’re brave enough and don’t sound like a dying walrus when you do it like I do, singing for days to come. It’s fun, bouncy, and sets up the beginning of the film beautifully, complete with a dance number set in Smalltown, U.S.A. that’s sure to put a grin above your chin. We are introduced to Walter here, who is just the epitome of optimism and love. If you have any doubts about him, just wait until you see his first big number. The little guy breathes enthusiasm – without any lungs, no less!

This is also the first time you’ll see any cameos in the film, and what’s interesting is that you may not recognize them for two distinct reasons. The first guest singer is Feist, an indie singer whom I adore. I think her voice is incredible and she’s a very talented songwriter. But she’s more underground sensation than international superstar, so her appearance may seem to some as non-noteworthy, as if she was a dancer who got promoted to sing a line because her voice was sweet and melodious. Similarly, you may be tempted to think that the old guy in the hat had a funny voice and thus was granted permission to croon a line (especially since his son choreographed the phenomenal dancing), but in reality that’s Mickey Rooney sharing the spotlight for a moment. Obsessive fans like us recognize Rooney as a seasoned actor and have been reading his name for months as part of the cast, but there are likely plenty of people nowadays who sadly have no idea who Rooney is and why he’s important enough to have a cameo. Kids especially will most likely not recognize either one of these celebrity appearances, unless they remember from the brief few seconds she’s on screen that Leslie Feist once danced with 1-2-3-4 chickens across the floor on Sesame Street. So it’s a brave choice to have these two be the film’s first cameos, yet definitely gives it a little indie cred from the get-go.

Now, while it is the opening number, “Life’s A Happy Song” is the second song on the album. The very first track on the soundtrack is one you’re intimately familiar with: “The Muppet Show Theme.” In this updated version – which is, I believe, the first time we’ve heard it sung by Steve Whitmire – there is another guest singer for one line that is tied in directly to a piece of the film’s plot for a terrific joke that I wouldn’t dare give away. A great, crisp, beautiful new version of a classic Muppet song, this was very enjoyable to hear coming through my headphones, and a great way to start out.

This is also what’s so great about this soundtrack – a careful mix of old and new tunes. And the sound clips interspersed are fun, too. I always hate it when a soundtrack has a sound bite from the film in front of or behind a song, so that you have to leave the clip in when you play the songs separately, so I was very happy to see them as their own tracks. And aside from the mix of old and new songs, there’s also a helping of maudlin mix with mirthful in both the soundtrack and corresponding film.

Which brings us to “Pictures In My Head,” Kermit’s anthem in this film. It’s a sad, soul-stirring tune that encapsulates how he feels about the gang breaking up and his own doubts about whether or not they can rally together again to save the theater. This was one of the best scenes in the film, and I can also see how it’s one that caused some rifts within the Muppeteer ranks. Would Kermit even doubt this in the old days of the Muppets? No, he’d say that there’s nothing they can’t do if they work together, call them all up, everyone would agree immediately to come back (Well, maybe Sam would take a little more convincing), and they’d be at the theater in no time. But this is a movie. We’re supposed to suspend our disbelief that the Muppets have never split up and realize that what Jason Segel and Nick Stoller tried to do in writing this script was what Jim Henson and Jerry Juhl and Frank Oz and all the other writers who worked on previous movies did, which is to put the Muppets, who are actors, into situations they’re not really part of in real life. We all know they’ve never split up. It’s just a movie plot. And if you can sit back and enjoy that, you’ll look at Jeannie Lurie, Aris Archontis, & Chen Neeman’s ballad in a different way. Think about it – the frog is emoting! He’s taken on a dramatic role in this film, and he wears it well.

As a lifelong Paul Simon fan, I always love hearing “Me and Julio Down By The Schoolyard” if it’s used well. In the film, it’s the opening song, accompanying a montage of Walter and Gary growing up, and it fits very well there. But the soundtrack pairs this song with the dialogue clip of Kermit telling Walter that Muppets drive, thus insinuating that the picking-up-the-Muppets scene will be accompanied by Paul Simon’s classic, which is won’t be. It’s actually “Cars” by Gary Numan in the film, which is a fine song by itself. It’s just that a little consistency would’ve been nice.

On the other side of that coin, when Walter tells the gang that they should clean up the theater to music, this inspires them to play “We Built This City” by Starship. This happens in the film, and also on the soundtrack, in back-to-back tracks. Interesting tidbit for you: This song was voted “Most Awesomely Bad Song … Ever” by Blender magazine in 2004 as well as “Worst Song of the ‘80s” by Rolling Stone in 2011. But don’t tell the Muppets that – or do, they won’t care! They just have fun listening to it while they clean up the theater and get ready for their big return. And hopefully, you will, too. Is it the best-written song in the world? Hell no! But it’s catchy and fun and you should never be ashamed of enjoying a song for that reason alone. Keep in mind, this is coming from a guy who has one or two Kelly Clarkson songs hidden somewhere on his iPod that seem to pop up on shuffle every single time he invites a girl over. Oh well! At least I dance like no one is watching.

There are also two versions of “Rainbow Connection” on display here. One is a parody of itself that Fozzie and The Moopets perform at Fozzie’s new gig in Reno with some clever and funny moments, and a classic reprise that all The Muppets join in on at the telethon. It’s another case of re-recording, and how many times have we heard another version of this song? Even so, the elaborate sets and all of the classic characters we’ve missed coming out of the woodworks to sing along make the scene something magical to behold. The song itself sounds great yet again, but just wait until you see it on the big screen.

Miss Piggy and Amy Adams both have their chance in the limelight with “Me Party” where they talk about not needing their significant others around to enjoy themselves. It’s an empowering tune and I hope young girls especially enjoy it and recognize that boys are yucky anyway and they don’t need them; they can be happy by themselves! Something that’s missing from this part of the film, however, bubbles to the surface within “Me Party.” In a few different scenes, Miss Piggy and Kermit talk about how unfinished their business was when last they parted. I wish the film had expanded on that more – not just with Piggy and Kermie, but with all of the Muppets. Why did the old gang even need to get back together? What was the incident that broke them up? As well-put-together the film is, there are a few holes here and there like this one, and I’m crossing my fingers extra-hard for an extended cut of the film at some point on DVD.

If the extended cut ever does come to fruition, one scene that will definitely have to be in it is one that involves “evil” Tex Richman’s motivation behind hating the Muppets, besides them just being in the way of the oil beneath the theater. In the film, Kermit humbly asks Tex to give them back the deed, and Tex then begins rapping about why he won’t do that. This rap is one verse and one chorus long in this scene. However, on the soundtrack “Let’s Talk About Me” features additional verses, including one operatic verse sung by Nathan Pacheco, which explains Tex’s hatred of our favorite felted friends. You’ll have to listen to it to hear exactly what I mean, but it’s a little frustrating to say the least. The song itself is great, though: with a very Flight of the Conchords feel, Chris Cooper channels the rhyme-noceros to wax poetic about his anger. It’s extremely well-written, very clever, and will probably be a fun karaoke hit amongst more adventurous Muppet fans.

Speaking of Flight of the Conchords, the next song, “Man Or Muppet?”, is a wonderfully triumphant song of self-discovery as Gary and Walter both try to figure out where they fit in life – as men or Muppets. They each have their own reasons for deciding to choose the life they choose in the film, and this song frames perfectly their journeys to their discoveries. And the “man” version of Walter is hilarious to see on screen (No, not Michael Cera – if only!), while the Muppet version of Jason Segel is also quite a sight to behold. Who knew Segel and Peter Linz had such terrific voices? They compliment each other well and the song is a delight.

Then we come to the songs performed at The Muppet Telethon, the raucous third act of the film. The songs, as performed during the film, are cut and interspersed with movie plot action, which of course works well within the context of the film. But a very special treat on the soundtrack is that “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” “Forget You,” “The Whistling Caruso,” and the afore-mentioned reprise of “Rainbow Connection” all get their proper dues as they’re played out in their entirety. “Smells Like Teen Spirit” is one of the best tracks on the album, as it’s not a straight-up version of the song and benefits so much from the Muppetizing, even though it seems strange that Sam the Eagle is singing a grunge rock standard. Maybe in that extended cut we’ll find that someone convinced him it was written by his favorite opera singer, Rudolf Nureyev, and not Kurt Cobain and company.

And I know I’ve said it before, but “Forget You” may be the official title on the soundtrack listing, but I’m still calling it “Byuck You” in my head.

“The Whistling Caruso” is interesting to note. Andrew Bird, a great musician who we’ve heard previously on Muppets: The Green Album singing “Bein’ Green,” is a world-class whistler who has showcased his talent many times over on his own albums, so it’s nice to hear him subbing in for Walter as he performs the final act the Muppets need to end their telethon. It’s beautiful and fluttery, accompanied by a string section and light drums, which highlight Bird’s talent without overshadowing it. As a fan of this style of grandiose whistling, I love this track.

Finally, as Uncle Deadly tells us (That’s right, Uncle Deadly is such an important character that he gets his own dialogue clip. Deadly 2012, folks!), it’s time for a finale. Another version of “Life’s A Happy Song” performed by the entire cast – humans, frogs, dogs, bears, chickens, whatevers – they’re all there lifting your spirits in the way only a rousing movie musical number can. It is the perfect way to end this film. It’s stunning! It’s stupendous! It’s … not the last song.

Just like in the film, the soundtrack ends with a little “Mahna Mahna” action. And while it’s a nice way to end the film, featuring a sing-along with celebrities and cast members, it would’ve been nice to leave out a track we probably already have in our iTunes libraries or reposition it so that the “Life’s A Happy Song” reprise could be the punctuation mark at the end of this album. It could’ve been a great exclamation point instead of the “Mahna Mahna” period. (Still love you, Snowths! Just wanted that variety.)

So, how does the music rank as a whole? I think you’ll find that the soundtrack is an essential buy to get the full scope of the film’s music. There are things on here that you won’t find in the movie, as well as songs that you’ll want to hear again and again long after the final credits roll. McKenzie and company have done a great job with the new song as well as the returning classics, and it’s just an all-around satisfying listen. Getting this album will certainly fill your life with some happy songs, and I hope everyone reading this will have someone by their side to sing along to them!

As a bonus, check out this official preview of the soundtrack to “The Muppets”:

Click here to whistle along with the ToughPigs forum!

by Matt Wilkie

Right after seeing the film, Ryan wrote his spoiler-free review.  I share most of the same opinions as him, but I’m saying screw the spoilers and I’ll be talking about anything and everything having to do with The Muppets.  So if you haven’t seen it yet, feel free to bookmark me and come back soon.  I’ll know if you don’t.

Let’s get the thumbs up/down part out of the way.  I loved The Muppets.  It was smart, funny, it had memorable character moments, the music was catchy, and I had a stupid smile on my face (and maybe a tear in my eye) the entire time.  It wasn’t perfect, but maybe we don’t need perfection.  Maybe we just need a few filled seats in the audience and a well-placed explosion to declare a job well done.  It’s how Kermit would’ve judged it, and it’s how I want to judge it too.

Okay, that’s not true at all.  We want a brilliant movie.  We want something hilarious and impressive and Oscar-worthy.  And maybe we didn’t quite get all of that, but I’d like to think we came close.

I found it hard to compare this movie to the last few Muppet movies.  Because it’s not a sequel to The Muppet Movie, The Great Muppet Caper, and Muppets Take Manhattan (references to road trips and used car dealerships aside).  It’s “The Muppet Show: The Movie”.  And as a Muppet Show film, I think it works really well.  It has sketches and celebrities, it’s about the backstage struggle of putting on a show, and it ups the ante of the tropes and traditions we’re used to, like the beautiful recreation of The Muppet Show theme song.  Because of all of this, I’m declaring it a success as a Muppet movie.  I’ll leave the review of whether or not it’s a good movie overall to Roger Ebert.

Let’s start by looking at what did and didn’t work in the plot.  I’ve heard some people say that it took too long for the titular Muppets to make an appearance, though I don’t really agree with that.  I loved watching Walter and Gary and Mary sing and dance their way through Smallville (or Tinytown or Littleton or Weehawken or whatever).  And as far as I’m concerned, the Muppets appeared as soon as they got to Hollywood.  Weren’t you picturing the Electric Mayhem in their bus?  Or Fozzie toiling away in his Joke Room?  Or Kermit wearing his tiny, tiny tuxedo?

But back to Gary and Mary for a minute.  I’m glad that they weren’t in the movie as much as the trailers led us to believe, but they were still a welcome presence.  I really empathized with Jason Segel’s Gary, who was simple (but not dumb) and funny (but not goofy) and somewhere between a real person and a fictional character (more on that later).  And his tap dancing sequence at the beginning of the film was a real highlight.  Amy Adams was really loveable as Mary, especially when we got to see her show off her singing and dancing skillz.  I do wish that she had some motivation beyond the quest for marriage, but whatever, it’s not her movie.

The first real Muppets who show up are the villains of the picture.  Statler and Waldorf make their first obligatory cameo (which is good, since overuse of the old hecklers can get real old, real fast), and Tex Richman brings Bobo and Uncle Deadly in tow, which evokes two pleasant feelings in me: We’ll get more Bobo-as-henchman hilarity (one of the saving graces of Muppets From Space), and we actually get to see Uncle Deadly again!  Not that he was the most beloved character or had a huge role in the Muppet Show days, but Jason Segel and James Bobin are actually branching out to the more obscure characters to satisfy the fans and the franchise (more on obscure characters below).

Cut to Kermit in his Sunset Boulevard house.  Some people were bothered by the fact that Kermit has become a recluse, but it really didn’t matter to me.  Why can’t he be a recluse?  He’s been a reporter, an ad man, a dish washer, an accountant, and a sea captain, and those are just from the movies.  What’s important is that Kermit acts like Kermit, which he does.  Except when he doesn’t. (Get ready, here’s gripe #1!)  Kermit spends a significant amount of time in this movie being sad.  Not that he isn’t allowed, but he’s a real Debbie Downer.  First he’s sad that the Muppets are split up, then he’s sad about Fozzie’s crappy life, then that Gonzo won’t come with them, then about his relationship with Piggy, that they need to raise the money, that Tex Richman is a dick, that they lose the theater and the Muppet name, etc etc etc.  As much as I missed the Muppets being on the big screen, I missed Kermit’s happy-go-lucky, slightly frustrated, fairly confident persona.

Moving right along (see what I did there?), the gang picks up Fozzie in a scene that reminded me very much of one from The Blues Brothers, and here is where we’re introduced to the Moopets.  I was totally looking forward to seeing what an evil version of the Muppets would be like, and I was a little let down.  Miss Poogy had a few good lines, but I really wanted to see what each of the counterparts could do other than scowl and wear angry eyebrows.  Missed opportunity or deleted scenes?  We may never know.

Gonzo’s scene was a nice one.  As he’s mellowed over the years (and Dave Goelz as well), his antics have seemed a little less manic and a little more staged.  But since we get to see him as a plumbing magnate first, his nose dive and subsequent arson (with some insurance fraud on the side, I’d wager) is all the more drastic in comparison.  And I loved it.

I’m not sure what to think of Animal’s sequence.  On the one hand, it’s nice to see him get a real B-plot.  But on the other hand, wouldn’t we all just be happy with more of his screaming and drumming and woman-chasing?  Besides, his story mimics a Muppet Show Comic Book storyline a little too closely for my tastes.

I’m glad the Muppets decided to do a montage next, because I really don’t need to devote a paragraph to every character in the car.  Obviously Bunsen and Beaker were part of a larger, edited scene (as they’re the only ones not dragged away by an oversized stage hook), and I was hoping for a little explanation (or even a befuddled comment) on why they needed Crazy Harry and Sam the Eagle.  One is overly cha0tic, the other impedes chaos, and neither make life easier for Kermit.  Still, it must’ve made for an interesting road trip.  But really, isn’t the scene with Sweetums back at Mad Man Mooney’s (and Sons) the best callback ever??  Yes.  Yes it is.

And then there was Piggy.  I think I would’ve rather have seen Piggy the fraud or Piggy the overeager and overconfident nutjob than Piggy the successful fashion magazine editor.  She’s a lot funnier when she’s trying too hard than when she proves to be capable at her job to the point where she’d have an Emily Blunt holding her calls for her.  But I digress.  My real beef is with the fact that we’re never told why she and Kermit had to split.  Or, for that matter, why the Muppets broke up in the first place.  It’s a glaring hole in the story that lingers over their heads for the entirety of the film, though it’s mostly evident when Kermit and Piggy hash out their feelings on the streets of Paris.

The Muppets (mostly) reunited, they then get started on rebuilding the Muppet Theater, and this sequence has many of my favorite scenes.  Fun puppetry tricks (Scooter sweeping, rats skating), fourth wall breaking (another montage!), more Muppet cameos (hey, is that Marvin Suggs??), Beauregard in the closet, some fantastic camerawork, and an awesome/terrible 80s pop song (though as much as I loved it, it would’ve been so much better if the Muppets actually, y’know, sang it).  That’s good stuff right there.

Meanwhile, there’s some non-Muppet stuff going on with Gary and Mary and Walter.  Mary has a good ol’ time by herself in Hollywood (good ol’ times include: Shopping, eating at a diner, singing a song about being alone) while Gary foreshadows the fact that he’ll forget their anniversary.  And Walter needs to find an act to do on stage that doesn’t involve panicking and/or fainting.  With all the Muppet fun going on around us, it was easy to forget that half of the story belongs to Gary and Walter, both of whom are trying hard to figure out what they want to be.  And actually, that’s a compelling story, especially since all of the Muppets already know who they are and rarely require a journey like this.  They’re musicians and comedians and hecklers and artist, and although they might not be successful, they’re well aware of their passions.  It’s cool to see these characters figuring it out for themselves, especially in Walter’s case, as we watch a Muppet discover his true potential.

Over at Evil Oil Barons, Inc., Tex Richman gets to tell off Kermit and his gang in the most entertaining way possible: Through hip hop (with unnecessary, distracting read-along lyrics).  Unfortunately, the soundtrack revealed a big missed opportunity in the form of some cut verses.  Tex sings about his backstory, which explains some important things: He hates the Muppets on a personal level, he is unable to laugh, he has a weakness.  Maybe the on-screen lyrics would’ve made more sense if they contained key information like that.  But hey, at least we got a good song out of it!

The next scene is one that I think most people will end up overlooking, but I liked a lot.  As Kermit sulks away, Miss Piggy takes control of the troops.  She shows the same deranged drive that had her snooping on Kermit in Muppets Take Manhattan, although this time it ended with her kidnapping a celebrity rather than roller skating after a purse thief.  I love seeing that confident Piggy, as opposed to the pig who would stow away in her dressing room until the frog fixes everyone’s problems.  She’s the epitome of the “tough pig”, and I’m glad she got to show it in a way that didn’t involve a well-placed karate chop.

The apex of the Walter/Gary story comes with their “Man or Muppet” duet (or quartet?), and I bet every one of us felt a little something inside that related us to these two mismatched brothers.  Maybe it’s our shared love of the Muppets, or maybe it’s the fact that we feel a little out of sync with the rest of the world, but it’s nice to know we’re not alone.  We’ve got Gary and Walter.

The Muppet Telethon is just chock full of goodness.  Jack Black as the captive celebrity guest, Hobo Joe (and his trash can fire) in the audience, the recreation of The Muppet Show theme song, the very Muppet Show-esque musical numbers of “Smells Like Teen Spirit” and “Forget You”, and Walter’s bizarrely entertaining whistling routine (which I liked a lot, but if that’s Walter’s “thing” from now on, it could get dull).  And then the celebrities start to show up, and I’m lost again.  There must be a ton of footage on the cutting room floor of all of these famous people doing funny things, but the end result demotes them to glorified extras.  It’s not like anyone (besides me, of course) found humor in the idea that a superstar like Judd Hirsch is just chilling in the background without any lines (feel free to replace Hirsch with Neil Patrick Harris if you’d like).  And I get it, Muppet movies have celebrity cameos, but this seemed like overkill.  There were so many celebrities, most of them were relegated to blink-and-you’ll-miss-them appearances, which is ultimately disappointing.  Among the ones that did have a good amount of screentime, they were mixed between the well-used (Zach Galifianakis, Jim Parsons, Alan Arkin) and the pointless (Sarah Silverman, Mickey Rooney, Whoopi Goldberg).  And seriously, can we please have a Muppet production without calling on Whoopi?  I think we can try one without her.

The end of the telethon harkens back to one of my favorite Muppet tropes: Try as they might, the Muppets often fail.  I loved the gag that they only raised 1% of the $10 million they needed, and I was shocked that they lost the Muppet Theater and brand name in the end, but it almost makes sense.  Especially when Kermit can prove to you that you don’t need a building or a name to realize your dreams or become a family.  But then that leads to my biggest gripe about the movie by far.

The ending!  Or rather, the lack thereof.  I couldn’t believe it when the words “The End” appeared on the screen.  Sure, Hollywood endings aren’t necessary, but this is the Muppets we’re talking about.  They always have a happy ending, and they have a status quo to get back to after the movie’s over.  The resolution comes about as an afterthought, delivered to us through newspaper clippings and a voiceover by the Muppet Newsman.  And all of it could’ve been fixed with a brief scene or two.  Like, maybe the Muppets make Tex Richman laugh, and he’s so overjoyed that he relinquishes the theater and restores the Muppet name.  Or maybe Uncle Deadly pushes him off another building and kills him.  Either way.

Let’s talk a minute about what we didn’t see in the movie.  There were certain scenes that we know were shot that didn’t make it into the final cut: The cameos by Billy Crystal, Ricky Gervais and Kathy Griffin, the Muppets in prison, Gonzo knocking the bowling pin off Gary’s head, and the extra stuff from the soundtrack.  And I was hoping for a few Muppet movie mainstays, like the obligatory Sesame Street cameo, Scooter selling popcorn, Elliott Gould… okay, I’m nitpicking.  Sorry ’bout that.

One of the biggest treats was all the character-spotting.  We knew about so many of them beforehand (Thog!), so there weren’t a ton of surprises, but it was still amazing to see memorable and hilarious scenes with characters like Wayne and Wanda, Behemoth (or are we calling him “Gene” now?), Link, and so on and so forth.  And yet.  It was weird to get big moments from those characters while practically ignoring Rizzo and Robin.  Though it’s worth it if they had to step aside for the new Muppet characters, which come about far too rarely these days.  I can definitely see a future in the Muppet franchise for Miss Poogy, 80s Robot, and of course, Walter.

Walter has been the biggest gift in the whole movie.  Because, as stated by just about everyone so far, Walter is us.  I related with his character so much, I practically expected him to say that he runs his own website for Muppet Fans Who Grew Up.  Every time he declared his love for the Muppets or fainted at the excitement of getting close to Kermit, I realized that I would’ve reacted the same way if I were in his tiny shoes.  Of course, the biggest hurdle will be finding a place for Walter among the Muppet crew now that his journey of discovery is over.  But I have faith that someone will give him a new quest and we’ll get to see more of the living embodiment of the Muppet fan in whatever the gang does next.

And that’s really what this movie was about.  What’s next.  The Muppets, in the universe of this film, are back.  (Since they never really left in our universe, you see.)  There’s a lot of old and a lot of new in that mix, and they’re just aching with potential.  I’m really happy that we got an amazing Muppet movie, but I’m happier that we finally have hope for the future.  And I bet Walter’s happy about that too.

Click here to talk at length about The Muppets on the ToughPigs forum!

by Joe Hennes – Joe@ToughPigs.com

First of all, I must say I greatly appreciated the depiction of the relationship between Zurg and the belt buckle, which I believe was intended as a symbolic reminder that language need not be a barrier to finding common ground, regardless of the circumstances in which the — what’s that you say? The Muppets? Oh yeah, I saw that too. I guess I could talk about it.

Going in, I was completely prepared to like the movie, but I was also wary of the intoxicating “new Muppets smell” that has occasionally led me to overrate things in the past. When I spoke to Grace Randolph for the Beyond the Trailer web show immediately after seeing the film, she asked me to rate it on a scale of 1 to 10, and I said something like, “It’s a 9 as a movie, and a 7 or 8 as a Muppet movie!” In the harsh light of day, I’m already wondering if that was a bit hyperbolic.

So let’s start with the basics. In a post earlier this week, I boiled my hopes for The Muppets down to a list of three. Let’s revisit those and see how each one turned out. And let’s revisit each one in the form of a question:

1. Did I laugh a lot? Yes, I did. The jokes were funny, with a nice combination of genuinely clever comedy-movie jokes and bad-but-worthy-of-the-Muppets jokes.
2. Were the musical numbers good? Yes, they were, although none of them ever lived up to the wonderful opening number, “Life’s a Happy Song.” That one is so catchy and full of fun moments and good ol’ movie-musical choreography, it rendered me downright giddy despite not featuring any of the main Muppet characters.
3. Did the Muppets act like themselves? Yes, mostly. Gonzo doesn’t have a ton of screen time, but it’s so great to see him back in action doing Gonzo stuff. Fozzie probably hasn’t been so Fozzie-like since Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie. And the creative team absolutely nailed the characterization of the Mutations. The most glaring exception to this, I would say, is Sam the Eagle’s willing participation in a musical number that hardly seems up to his usual standards of cultural value.  And then there’s Kermit, but I’ll get to that later.

I’m pretty happy to be able to answer all of those questions in the affirmative.  Honestly, even!  This is a good Muppet movie, and I think Muppet fans are going to like it pretty universally.  And speaking of Muppet fans: Walter, the Muppet geek with big dreams, turns out to be the real heart and soul of the film.  His character arc may be the most satisfying aspect of the whole movie, and he proves to be a lovable new Muppet in a movie full of Muppets we love doing what we love to see them doing.

Here are some other things I liked about it (another list!)

1. Uncle Deadly. Matt Vogel’s been doing a bang-up job with all of the characters he’s taken over, but Uncle Deadly is especially scene-stealing here, just by being Uncle Deadly.  And props to James Bobin for managing to get Deadly’s little-seen tail into a shot.
2. The stuff where the characters know they’re in a movie.  The Muppets did it a lot in the first two Jim Henson-era movies, so it’s another throwback to the classics.  It could have easily been overdone, but it’s subtle enough to still seem funny.
3.  The multitude of minor but familiar-to-us Muppets running around the theater. Wayne and Wanda, Behemoth, Quongo the Gorilla.  We’ve seen them all in the trailers, but it’s still fun to keep an eye on the background to see who pops up.

All of which is not to say The Muppets is perfect.

As I said, all the Muppets were mostly in character, but Kermit was kind of a downer. I’m sure he had a few jokes in the movie, but I can only think of one or two right now. Most of the emotional weight of the Muppets’ story is on Kermit’s shoulders, and Steve Whitmire gives one of his best performances ever, but I found find myself wishing Kermit got to be funnier. I don’t have a problem with him living alone in a Hollywood mansion, or even with the premise that he gave up on the showbiz dream and has to find it again, but man, the frog gives a lot of somber and/or heartfelt speeches in this movie.

The whole film bows a little under the pressure of trying to cram so much into its running time. The whole story is really just a device that allows the Muppets to put on a show, which is fine, because it’s what we want to see, but there’s a lot of stuff that’s not given the screen time it needs. It’s obvious that Chris Cooper’s Tex Richman is a bad guy, but if I hadn’t already known that his evil plan was to destroy the Muppet Theater to get at the oil underneath, I don’t think I would have picked up on it, as it’s never explained in great detail.  And if this movie is supposed to be the first Muppet movie of a new era, the Muppet Movie for a new generation, it does a good job… but where The Muppet Movie introduced each of the major Muppets in a way that told you exactly who they were even if you had never seen The Muppet Show, the new movie frequently assumes that the viewer knows who these guys are.

And the ending — well, I’m not going to give it all away, but when the words THE END appeared on screen, I went, “Wait… That’s how it ends?”

But what am I doing complaining?  The Muppets is a delightful time at the movies, and I spent exponentially more time with a grin on my face than I did with an eyebrow raised.  I can’t think of anyone I know whom I would not recommend it to.  And I can’t wait to see what the Muppets do next.

Keep an eye on Tough Pigs for second-opinion reviews, with more spoilers!  Click here to have everything you need, right in front of you, on the Tough Pigs forum!

by Ryan Roe – Ryan@ToughPigs.com

I’m a big fan of the Muppets and a big fan of WWE.  So when the two combined, I was excited to say the least.  WWE has a gimmick going of booking celebrity guests to help their ratings to compete with football season.  Everyone from Bob Barker to Al Sharpton has done the show.  About a year ago, WWE put out a list of people they wanted to get, and The Muppets topped the list.  It seemed like a strange choice, and true to the Muppets’ sensibilities, it played out as one.  It was, nevertheless, entertaining.  I may have a bit of bias, but I loved it.   From what I’ve read, the wrestlers were so excited about the Muppets’ appearance that many of them were actively campaigning to appear on screen with them.

The first segment featured Kermit and Piggy announcing their excitement to be there.  I’m sure Kermit was mostly excited he wasn’t going to have to dress in drag and get in the ring.  As they begin talking, they were interrupted by Jack Swagger and Vickie Guerrero (Swagger’s manager).  To me, it felt like the Muppets were being themselves and not really changing anything about their act to fit in with the WWE.  For example, Kermit’s jibes at Swagger went over pretty well, though it must have been awkward for Kermit to have to use Zack Ryder’s “Woo woo woo, you know it!” catchphrase.  The segment ended with Diva Kelly Kelly kissing Kermit and being (rightfully) fussed at by Miss Piggy.  My one big complaint is that Piggy never got her revenge for that kiss.  Doesn’t seem like she’d just let it go, but I guess she can’t chop the fan favorite right before a match.  Serves her right; she lost anyway.  Karma at work??

The next segment featured Muppet Labs developing an energy drink to help Santino in his match.  (I guess steroids can be put in a drink too.)  As Beaker went to deliver it, he was cornered by Christian, a big heel that conveniently happens to be feuding with Sheamus, the man who is constantly compared to Beaker, thanks to his gravity-defying red hair. One of the real highlights for me was hearing Sheamus confirm his shared lineage with Beaker.  From what I hear with other wrestling fans, that was a real treat too.  Is this the first human relative since Swedish Chef’s uncle Danny Kaye?

The next little appearance was one from Statler and Waldorf who seem to have shelled out some serious cash for a suite to watch the show.  I was hoping for a lot from the pair, and I was a little disappointed.  I understand that they’re at a wrestling show, and I get that the Stone Cold “What” chant is annoying, but their mockery of the catchphrase didn’t feel authentic to the Muppets, and it didn’t get a very good response.  It’s possible that it wasn’t shown to the live audience, because there was no reaction at all.

A few more segments come and go, during which I noticed a constant stream of Muppet mentions from the announcers.  I was pleased to see that the special stage (which had the movie logo on it) from the Kermit and Piggy segment was visible for the entire show.  I wonder if anyone that didn’t know the Muppets were on flipped past it on channels and wondered why something so out of place was on WWE Raw.

The next segment involved Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger, two heels, harrassing Fozzie and Gonzo.  I’m probably one of the few WWE fans to yell, “Gonzo’s wearing his Muppets Take Manhattan water skiing outfit!”  I wonder why they hate the Muppets so much, and there’s no explanation as such.  Anyway, they pry at Gonzo’s arms, and he enjoys it, just like in Muppet Treasure Island.  It’s a good thing John Cleese prepared Gonzo so well for every time people try to torture him.

We get a clip from the movie, during which WWE’s writers posted on Twitter how shocked they were to be able to promote a movie people cared about.  After this clip, we see Animal is the guest time keeper, which gave me hope that the match would have Animal going crazy, ringing the bell like the madman he is.  Though this didn’t happen, I couldn’t have been more surprised and pleased when, at the end of the match, Beaker popped up at ringside (where did he come from?) and handed Santino the drink that he and Bunsen made at the beginning of the show.  I expected it to kick in and give him magical superpowers (ala Popeye’s steroid-laced spinach), but instead he spit it in Swagger’s face and rolled him up for the win.  This may be the first official WWE assist from a puppet!

Statler and Waldorf made another brief appearance, and the fact that I really don’t even remember what they said should tell you something.  Their appearances here just didn’t work at all, which is ironic since, ideally, their commentary on pro wrestling should be a gimme.  Finally, we see Miss Piggy backstage trying to get a date with John Morrison (and his abs), and who can blame her?  Instead, Morrison tried to set her up with the resident midget Hornswoggle, who showed off his real-life tattoos of the Muppets on his ankle.  Hornswoggle stole a kiss and subsequently got chopped in typical Piggy fashion.  Kermit came to check on him, and he seemed to be star-struck over the incident.  Kermit remarked about how strange the show is (which sort of sums up my feelings on that whole scene), but things got stranger when Cody Rhodes entered, put a bag on Kermit’s head, and left without a word.  I honestly don’t get that.  I haven’t seen him in a while.  Guess he’s been putting bags on people’s heads.  Statler and Waldorf send us off to commercial making jokes about John Cena’s “You can’t see me” taunt, and once again fall flat.  I wish we’d have ended on a better note.

In all, we saw nine Muppets in one show, which is more of an appearance than we’ve had in years.  Several Muppety topics trended on Twitter worldwide.  The wrestlers seemed to be having a lot of fun, and the Muppets were having a good time.  I learned that WWE had to cut a match to make room for all of the Muppet segments, but it was well worth the sacrifice.  It was certainly a strange fit, but the combination of Muppets and wrestling seemed to work.

But don’t take my word for it!  Watch this video with all of the Muppet scenes from WWE Raw and see for yourself how much fun it was!

Click here to get ready to rumble on the ToughPigs forum!

by Justin Tonglet

Sesame Street

Anthony: Four and a half years ago, I wrote a piece for this website mocking the “Sesame Street is no good anymore. Why can’t it be more like it was in my childhood?” mentality so often expressed by people who haven’t seen the show in years. Now I fear I’m becoming that character for real. Because the season premiere, while not totally devoid of charm, didn’t exactly give me hope for the show’s future.

Rosalynn: I’m totally one of those people, and I’m okay with that! I show clips of Sesame Street in my classroom, and the majority of them have that little “Classic” symbol on them. I’ve taught all of my co-workers the Ladybug’s Picnic. There are so many different versions of the alphabet, and I’ve played all of them from Ladysmith Black Mambazo to Gabi backed up by her mom and Gina.

Anthony: Part of me thinks that it isn’t fair to compare the current series with the show’s golden age. Sesame Street in the 1970s is one of mankind’s all-time greatest achievements, and most of the people involved have moved on, either to other projects or to the after-life.

Rosalynn: And most of the puppets have changed hands, too.

Anthony: But on the other hand, the current crew is theoretically performing the same job – educate young children and entertain people of all ages. For me, at least, this episode didn’t meet the latter goal very well at all.

Rosalynn: And I’m just really confused about which children they’re trying to educate.

Street Scene – Failure to Launch

Anthony: In the street scene, our old friends Telly, Elmo and Baby Bear are playing basketball catch in the courtyard, when a little guy named Hubert the Human Cannonball shows up. He has just one goal in life – to be launched from a cannon precisely five feet into a bucket of blue gelatin.

The segment has some mildly amusing material, mostly from Telly. He worries that Hubert’s audience will be let down if he fails, and worried Telly is almost always funny Telly in my book. The story also wrings some laughs out of Hubert’s “fans”, which are just automatic cheering generated by a machine. And even when it isn’t that funny, it’s nice just to spend time with these characters.

But you were a lot less enthusiastic about the use of the word “engineer” to describe the process of designing and building a new method for launching Hubert. Why’s that?

Rosalynn: Engineer? Are you kidding me?! Preschoolers need to learn how to build blocks first. They need to know what a construction worker is before they know what an engineer is. Construction worker is concrete, engineer is abstract. Everything has to be STEM, STEM, STEM.

Anthony: Well, the segments have gotten longer. They have fewer segments, but they go more in-depth, at least in theory.

Rosalynn: But they can’t even decide who the audience is.

If they’re targeting it younger with repetition, why is the curriculum so high? They’re asking kids to have higher order thinking skills before they have the basics. Talking about units of measurement, launching, problem-solving – it doesn’t match up. The curriculum is missing the basic content it used to have. And it would hold little kids’ attention better if it used shorter segments like it used to.

3-and-4-year-olds are learning the alphabet now, and they need that repeated frequently and in small chunks. That’s why “the letter of the day and number of the day” were brilliant concepts. If they had two segments about counting to five, and then they had the man being shot five feet out of a cannon, it’d make sense. But instead they expect kids to glean that basic counting out of this really long street scene, which will be confusing for little kiddos.

It seems like they’re so intent on getting kids to problem solve and apply new information that they’re not teaching directly, which they used to do. And back then, they still had the street scenes where they could apply it. When it was broken up, it gave them a chance for direct instruction followed by application. Now that it’s this big old street scene, where’s the direct instruction?

Anthony: I guess the idea is that it will come in the following segments, but that doesn’t really happen, as we’ll see.

Word of the Day – Engineer

Anyway, the next segment is Elmo and James Marsden attempting to “engineer” an automatic spaghetti server using a wedge and board. But instead of getting the spaghetti on the plate, it just hurls it all over the place, including on their heads! Then they both look at the camera and say “Engineer!” That’s kind of funny, I guess. But what did they engineer? It didn’t perform the task they designed it to do. What does that teach kids?

Rosalynn: They have the material here for making mistakes, but they just skip over it. Engineering is a well thought-out process, and this isn’t it! This would make so much more sense with Grover doing it and James helping him when he makes mistakes. James could say “An engineer needs to look at his entire process before building it. He needs to measure how far the bowl can go.”

If they can’t teach the word right, they shouldn’t teach it. Or they could have mentioned that it’s a simple tool! Kids actually learn that in kindergarten. They could have mentioned the supplies they needed or how they got them. Engineers think about these things. It’s just very disappointing.

Murray Had a Little Lamb

Anthony: Sure. Next, Murray visits the New York Hall of Science. I’ve always found the high-pitched voice Joey Mazzarino uses for Murray and other characters to be very grating, but I really like Murray’s enthusiasm. Here he and Ovejita (along with employees of the New York Hall of Science) help kids make rockets out of straws, clay, and construction paper fins.

Again, I recognize that adults aren’t the target audience for Sesame Street, but watching this, I find myself trying to justify it by saying “Well, it could be a lot worse.” That didn’t used to be necessary! Take, for example, the season 6 premiere, found on the Old School Volume 2 DVD set. It’s packed full of funny bits, terrific songs, and bizarre animations. I genuinely enjoy all 58 minutes of it, and that’s true of most episodes I’ve seen from the show’s first thirty seasons or so.

The show is still capable of hilarity for adults. Spider-Monster and the Glee parody are evidence of that –

Rosalynn: Yeah, the Glee thing is awesome. I’ve made up songs in class about the two sounds of the letter G. It’s hard whenever consonants make two sounds, and it confuses most kids. This one, they can giggle right along with their parents while learning it. Get it? Giggle?

Anthony: Gee, that’s great! But we don’t get much in this particular episode (with one exception that we’ll get to later). If this was a new show with Henson puppets, I’d probably tune in for the premiere, think “That’s kind of cute” and then never think about it again. It’s not that I need it to appeal to me. If it’s going after one crowd, I’m glad that crowd is kids rather than adults. But it still makes me a little sad.

That was a long tangent, but my point is – Murray and his rockets aren’t very entertaining, but are they educational at least?

Rosalynn: They could have been, but again, they miss all of the obvious opportunities. They didn’t count the fins, they just said the number. They teach kids how to engineer rockets but not how to launch them. They could have taught them how to make a soda-bottle rocket. They could have taught them how to make paper airplanes. There’s lots of things kids can do, but they chose something that kids can’t even replicate.

Letter/Number of the Day

Anthony: But then you got a happy surprise – the “H is for Helping” segment, in which some kids build a letter H out of blocks and talk about various ways to help.

Rosalynn: Yeah! That’s awesome! You’ll notice the kids didn’t say engineer because kids don’t say that. They say that they built it. I could see my kids mimicking that. But why didn’t they talk about helping beforehand? Helping is social-emotional learning, making mistakes, following directions, and so far they’ve ignored all chances for it. But this feels like an old segment – it teaches something, it’s fun, and it’s obvious who the message is for.

Anthony: The other classic-style segment is “The Adventures of Salty and Pierre,” where a set of salt and pepper shakers look for the number 5 in their yard. I don’t have much to say about it, but it was fun.

Rosalynn: And the fact that everything is made of food and kitchen products is pretty cool.

Abby’s Flying Fairy School

Anthony: To me, this maybe feels the least like old Sesame Street of anything currently on the show. For that reason, I’ve struggled a lot with it ever since it premiered. A parent flipping the channels could stop on it and think this is some generic show, and that kind of troubles me. One of Sesame‘s great strengths is that parents and even grandparents grew up with it. But this isn’t that show at all. It’s not that I need the show to stay exactly the same, but for 29 seasons it had essentially the same format. “Abby’s” is almost unrecognizable as SS, and I’d like it a lot more if it was an independent series.

But on the bright side, despite being stuck in the middle of Sesame Street, it’s basically just a wacky sitcom, and a pretty a good one. The gang are all fun characters who serve different functions in the stories, and the designs are beautiful. I’m especially fond of twitchy, nervous Gonnigan, who I’d love to see in Muppet form someday.

This story, where the kids accidentally open Pandora’s lunchbox, was a pretty fun one. They have to match up the shapes in the lunchbox to the shapes of the living foods that have escaped, and I really dug the sequences where the various foods assault them.

Rosalynn: Yeah, it’s cute. I really like “Pandora’s lunchbox” and most of the story. The only thing I don’t like is the freaking hexagon!

Anthony: By which you mean that the three shapes are a rectangular juice box, a circular tortilla, and six triangle-shaped chips combining to form a hexagon?

Rosalynn: What’s wrong with a triangle? Chip = Triangle would have been enough of a lesson. If you can’t instantly figure out that a box is a rectangle, you sure aren’t going to figure out that you can use six triangles to make a hexagon. Is it possible that they think “The two-year-old is going to really get a kick out of the rectangle, but after he’s done, his nine-year-old brother is going to want to watch the same thing, and he’ll figure out the hexagon thing?”

Super Grover 2.0

Anthony: But we both agreed Super Grover 2.0 was terrific, and only partially because it starred the greatest hero of the 20^th century. The jokes are funny, the story is engaging, and the opening credits (which I had somehow not seen until now) look they’re out of a big-budget Super Grover movie!

Rosalynn: Yeah, and they cover three different concepts that are all related – bigger size equals bigger strength which equals bigger force. They teach it backwards –

Anthony: They start with force, but it would make more sense to start with size?

Rosalynn: Right, but I get why. Force is the concept that they really want to push, so it makes sense for them to put it first. I was a little concerned at first that kids watching might not know what size is, but by the end they go through that too. And they do it in a comfortable amount of time. It’s about six minutes. By the end of the year, I expect my three and four year olds to reach an attention span of 7 minutes. This is something I could use in several different lesson plans.

Or just as a reward. Because, you know, Super Grover is awesome.

Anthony: He really is. I loved the joke where he says the chicken has to go on maternity leave after she lays an egg.

Rosalynn: I like the part where the horse brings up force and Super Grover thinks he said “fours” and holds up two number 4s. But I also love Talking Houses so, you know . . .

Elmo’s World: Helping

Anthony: And now we’ve arrived at Elmo’s World. Our own Danny Horn praised this segment years ago in his classic “My Week with Sesame Street.” So my initial thought was that there’s no point in our reviewing it here. If you’re reading this article, you probably already have an opinion on EW. The format hasn’t changed one bit in 13 seasons. In fact, this particular installment, “Helping,” originally aired four years ago as part of season 38.

Rosalynn: Has Sesame Street changed that much since season 38?

Anthony: A quick check of Muppet Wiki reveals that episode 4160, where it first aired, was split up into many short segments after the street story. And it still had multiple segments highlighting the letter and number of the day.

Rosalynn:  Well, this is more appropriate for the age group, and it’s split up into little segments, just like the show used to be. I like the subject of helping more than I do engineering. It makes more sense for kids to know. In the opening, we see all kinds of different settings for helping. Including a seeing-eye dog. Genius!

I liked the segment of the little girl making cookies with her mom. It was simple, it showed the ingredients, it showed the entire process of making cookies. I liked that it showed where she could help and where kids shouldn’t help – her mom cracked the egg and handled everything involved with the oven because, as the girl said, “it’s hot.” If this had been made for season 42, I feel like it would have had her doing fractions in order to calculate the measurements.

Anthony: You know, you’re right that this feels more like classic Sesame Street than the rest of the show. Maybe it’s just that I’m so used to the format now, but the small variations are more entertaining than they used to be. It had a bunch of funny characters – Grover, Mr. Noodle, a lifeguard, as well as short, interesting segments. I still don’t get the appeal of asking a baby, but this is a series I actually enjoy watching. And that was the last thing I expected to say. So you can go ahead and take that as my official evaluation of the season premiere –

It took me ten years to realize it, but Danny was right. Elmo’s World is the funniest part of Sesame Street now.

I’m not even sure how to react to that.

In Conclusion…

Rosalynn: It wouldn’t take much to get Sesame Street back on track. Make the goals simpler; choose issues and words that kids actually deal with. If they don’t change it, it’ll be really sad. How are my kids ever gonna survive if they can’t even understand Sesame Street?

Click here to get enraged about hexagons on the Tough Pigs forum.

by Anthony and Rosalynn Strand

But thankfully (for me, for you, and for the good people at Disney licensing), “Tales of a Sixth-Grade Muppet” is a surprisingly fun, yet appropriately bizarre read.

The story is this: Sixth-grader Danvers Blickensderfer (an unfortunate name for both the character and the typesetter) is an academically underachieving, non-athletic, kinda sorta losery kid who happens to be obsessed with The Great Gonzo (sound familiar??).  After an inexplicable phenomenon (do doo do do doo), he is magically transformed into a Muppetized version of himself, complete with wobbly arms, feathered hair, and a penchant for puns.  Danvers’ quest to discover what happened to him takes him on a journey through a bunch of Muppet cameos and eventually an internship (unpaid, I’m sure) at the Muppet Show theater.

I’ve never read any of the “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” books, but I’d wager that this book is pretty similar.  Even beyond the obvious character parallels between the geeky Danvers and the titular “Wimpy Kid”, “Sixth-Grade Muppet” is told as a mixture of first-person narration and Danvers’ own drawings.  This gives us two views of almost every character, one drawn by artist Kirk Scr0ggs (who also wrote the book) and one by Danvers (so, y’know, also Kirk Scroggs).

That leads me to my first minor complaint about the book, which is that these two artistic styles aren’t all that different from each other.  Scroggs’ figures have an immature look to them, while Danvers’ are the same, but slightly shakier.  Scroggs’ off-model characters don’t really bother me, as it makes sense in the context of the book (and to the audience, who probably skew a smidge younger than me), but I wish he’d make an attempt at making these two styles more independent of one another.

Danvers as the titular Muppet offers an interesting look at exactly what it takes to be a Muppet.  He’s aware of the fact that he’s made of felt, but there are no references to being a puppet (or otherwise controlled by a performer).  He’s punny, he’s reckless, his eyelids don’t close, and of course, he has a removable nose.  The most entertaining of these stereotypes, however, is the fact that once he makes his transformation, he is stalked and pestered by Statler and Waldorf.

The hecklers show up throughout the book (driving their car past Danvers’ house, outside his classroom window, in the stands at gym class, etc.), while the other Muppets pop in and out as needed.  Dr. Bob, Nurse Piggy, and Nurse Janice inspect Danvers after his Muppety infection before referring him to specialists Bunsen and Beaker, who are in residency at a school headmastered by Sam the Eagle, and so on and so forth.  The gimmick got a little repetitive, but it only lasted until Danvers begins his Muppet Show internship, when the Muppet cameos become too common to be singled out.  It’s fun seeing all the characters in familiar, yet new roles, and I can totally envision the Muppets doing something similar in future productions.

Though while most of the Muppets (including, but not limited to Rowlf, Dr. Teeth, Beaker, Pepe, Rizzo, Lew Zealand, and Crazy Harry) are written true-to-form with enough new material to keep them interesting, Scroggs misses the mark a little bit with some of the key characters.  Kermit is bland and only appears to provide plot exposition (well, it has to go somewhere).  Fozzie is relegated to telling a few bad jokes in passing.  And Miss Piggy is all grumpy without a hint of saccharin.  Gonzo, however, is written wonderfully (which is good, since he is the most visible Muppet in the book) with a great mix of his patented manic daredevil persona and tortured artist.

And like any other Muppet production, the characters we recognize aren’t the only Muppets in this world.  Danvers’ schoolmates and fellow townspeople include not only humans, but cats and frogs and chickens and giant carrots too.  Scroggs gives us a glimpse into a larger Muppet universe that gives a little logic to the fact that people can recognize the Muppets without screaming in fear at their horribly mutated forms or ability to talk and use opposing thumbs.

And that’s really the most satisfying part of the book: This is a world where The Muppet Show is real, frogs and bears and chickens and things can be found everywhere, the laws of physics (and logic) are flexible, and there’s a good chance you can actually meet Gonzo.  If that universe actually exists, I’ll gladly spend the rest of my life searching for the wormhole that connects our two worlds.

Though all this rampant Muppetiness does raise one question: Will the kids reading this book actually get all the references?  I’m not talking about the Marvin Suggs or Gladys the Lunch Lady cameos, but the overall idea of The Muppet Show.  Is this show that hasn’t been in syndication in over a decade-and-a-half and hasn’t seen a proper DVD release since 2008 well-known enough by America’s youth that they’ll know Veterinarian’s Hospital, the artistic history of Gonzo the Great, and the fact that the Muppets usually put on a “bad” show in their own continuity?  I think Scroggs did a fine job in explaining everything as he writes, but it’s difficult to say for sure being the kind of person I am, assuming that everybody in the world is as intimately familiar with every episode of The Muppet Show as me.

While “Tales of a Sixth-Grade Muppet” is most definitely aimed toward people shorter than me, I still found a lot to love in the book.  It’s fun living vicariously through Danvers, meeting and getting to know the Muppet crew.  The jokes are funny, the story is solid, and the entire concept feels fresh and retro at the same time.  And it’s always satisfying to see another officially sanctioned product (much like most of the Muppet comic books) written by someone who is obviously passionate about the Muppets while being a student of their history at the same time.  Although the book has little to do with the new Muppet movie coming out this November, it has raised my expectations for the film just a little now that I’m reminded that there are people out there who know how to breathe life into the Muppets in a fun and interesting way.

Click here to wake up feeling a little fuzzy on the ToughPigs forum!

by Joe Hennes – Joe@ToughPigs.com

Also note that you can currently listen to the entire album right here on NPR.  But we encourage you to buy the CD or download on iTunes.  Muppets are (almost) always worth spending money!

Muppets: The Green Album follows a long tradition of album names coming from a color. Sometimes this is on purpose, like Jay-Z’s The Black Album, whose title is literally The Black Album. But sometimes the color is a nickname given to the album due to the color of the album’s artwork. The White Album, for example, is actually The Beatles, but since the album’s cover is just their name across the front of an all-white plane, it’s more commonly known as The White Album. So when Weezer released their first album, even though it’s technically self-titled, it’s almost always referred to as The Blue Album. Adding to that is the fact that Weezer’s third album was also self-titled, but this time they chose a green backdrop, so people took to calling that album The Green Album.

Whether the producers of the new all-Muppet-covers album decided to call their release Muppets: The Green Album as a nod to Weezer or the tradition itself is unknown to me. But since Weezer is included on the wide array of artists contributing to this compilation of covers, I’m leaning towards the former. And that being said, I think choosing their cover of “The Rainbow Connection,” a duet they perform with Hayley Williams, the lead singer of Paramore, is a perfect way to lead off this album. Its nature-oriented background noises add a tranquil quality to a beautiful vocal performance on both Williams’ and Rivers Cuomo’s part. Though I do feel they missed an opportunity with the third verse. Instead of a back-and-forth between them to echo Kermit singing to his reflection in the original recording, they instead harmonize with each other. I always liked that in the original, as well as when Kermit sang with Debbie Harry on The Muppet Show, but that’s my only real complaint.

And if that’s the only one, please note that it’s a small one. This is overall a beautiful rendition, as are the majority of the songs on this album. Close enough to the original, with a new feeling infused into it. The arrangement benefits from an update without taking away from the way I remember hearing it the first time.

However, Weezer’s is not the first track. Muppets: The Green Album begins with OK Go – or as I perceive them, the band with the great-looking videos and the average-at-best-sounding songs – performing “The Muppet Show Theme Song.” I understand why: they’re currently filming a music video with the Muppets to promote their song and this album in general, which I’m sure will be posted onto my Facebook wall multiple times within seconds of its release. It’s a viral goldmine guarantee. But the version of the song that they recorded is miles away from the original.

Now, I have a love/hate relationship with cover songs to begin with. I think if a band is trying to duplicate the original exactly, they’re missing out on an opportunity to put their own spin on a song they love. And it’s no secret how much OK Go loves the Muppets. Their cover sounds like it was recorded for a video game, with plenty of electronic cues and riffs. The backing sounds reminds me of a level of “Sonic the Hedgehog.” I think they went in the opposite direction for a reason, most likely to distinguish themselves. And the reason they chose to include the introduction lyrics without introducing anyone, as well as two endings to the track, is one that I’d also question. But is it too far the other way? That’s really up to the individual to decide.

The same things can be said about almost every song on this album. There are tracks that are very close to the original versions, like “Night Life” by Brandon Saller & Billy Martin, or “Bein’ Green” by Andrew Bird. And then there are versions that differ greatly from the original recordings, like Amy Lee’s version of “Halfway Down the Stairs,” or The Airborne Toxic Event’s “Wishing Song.” But whoever’s singing, you can feel the love and appreciation they have for the song, whatever they decided to do with it.

Whatever my opinion, you’ve probably decided whether or not you’re going to buy this album already. And with NPR offering a full preview, you can hear it before you decide for sure. So the only thing I can do now is offer my opinion on these songs. So here they are, track by track.

OK Go – “The Muppet Show Theme Song” / Weezer & Hayley Williams – “The Rainbow Connection”: See above

The Fray – “Mahna Mahna”: A fun, modern take on a song that has seen quite a few versions already. Whether you’re more familiar with Mahna Mahna himself, Bip Bippadotta, or the adult film version, The Fray’s funk-infused take on this classic will sound instantly familiar, while giving it their own scatting interludes.

Alkaline Trio – “Movin’ Right Along”: This is a duet done right, incorporating Kermit and Fozzie’s original dialogue to give it an extra boost of fun. Every “doog-a-doon, doog-a-doon” brings a smile to my face. Faster-paced and a little harder than the original, it’s a great addition.

My Morning Jacket – “Our World”: Technically, this song is mistitled, since they’re singing the lyrics to “Brothers” as well as “Our World,” just like The Frogtown Jubilee Jug Band and Alice Otter did at the end of Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas. But the marriage of those two songs makes for one beautiful tune, as do the folky vocals of the members of My Morning Jacket.

Sondre Lerche – “Mr. Bassman”: Lerche channels both Scooter and Floyd Pepper, singing their parts phenomenally. My favorite part of this is how the bass itself is unsteady and unsure of itself throughout, and then gets its act together by the end to illustrate musically the theme of the song. A one-man duet that I’ll bet Henson would’ve appreciated.

Amy Lee – “Halfway Down the Stairs”: Lee takes this song and makes it her own, and whether or not that’s a good thing is up to you and you alone to decide. Either you’re a fan of Evanescence, or you’re not, and that greatly impacts whether or not you’ll hit the “Next” button every time this trippy, bass-heavy, electonica version of Robin’s forlorn tune comes on your playlist.

The Airborne Toxic Event – “Wishing Song”: If I had one wish about this song, it’d be to figure out the lyrics they use during what was originally Gonzo’s instrumental solos. Other than that, I’d just wish to hear this track a few more times. It’s sad enough to be true to the original, with a sort of hopefulness that I wasn’t expecting from this band, but definitely appreciated.

Brandon Saller & Billy Martin – “Night Life”: Saller (formerly of Atreyu, and currently of Hell or Highwater) and Martin (Good Charlotte) take a spin on the Electric Mayhem’s bus, playing what Janice called “a love song” in The Great Muppet Caper. That depends on how you define “love,” I suppose, but it’s pretty clear from the way they play it that these two love this song. The dialogue riffs don’t work quite as well as Alkaline Trio’s, but it’s still commendable that they went for that added touch. As did their creepy versions of the Muppets’ laughs.

Andrew Bird – “Bein’ Green”: It’s a slightly awkward transition between the last song and this one, but it works somehow. This is definitely the point where I really took notice of the eclecticism in this album. Bird has a song, “Fake Palindromes,” which I both love and hate. It builds up at the end, and then just stops abruptly. Fortunately, that is not the case here. It builds itself up, then brings it all back down. It has a perfect arc. It even has a banjo! That’s a nice touch.

Matt Nathanson – “I Hope That Something Better Comes Along”: The almost-dreamy organ intro for the first verse, joined by piano later, creates a great atmosphere for Nathanson’s almost-loungey, never-cheesey version of the Henson/Henson duet classic. Even singing about being a frog and a dog in alternating lines works here. Maybe if Nathanson had heard Lerche’s cover first he would’ve opted to duet with himself as well, but it’s still just as lovely with one voice throughout.

Rachael Yamagata – “I’m Going to Go Back There Someday”: Essentially the third version of Gonzo’s signature tune released since it was written in 1979, this is leaps and bounds better than the version that snuck its way onto the Muppets from Space soundtrack. And arguably, it’s my favorite song on the album; it’s definitely the one I’ve listened to the most number of times so far. From the a cappella introduction, to the beautiful musical arrangement, to Yamagata’s stunning voice, it’s a terrific way to end the album.

There you have it, a tour-de-felt of music! Overall, the album flows very well from one song to the next, and it’s abundantly clear that every artist was chosen because they had something personal to say about the song they covered. Like any compilation or soundtrack, there’ll probably be bands that you love more than others and styles that you lean towards. But as a tribute to some of the Muppets’ most memorable and lovable songs, this is a great sampling of what different artists in various genres can do with some great source material. As an audiophile – and a Muppophile – I’ll be picking up my own copy on August 23^rd.

Click here to sing a cover of a cover on the ToughPigs forum!

by Matt Wilkie

The Skrumps are sculptor/illustrator John Chandler’s love child. Chandler created the characters to be sold as vinyl toys and storybooks, and The Jim Henson Company bought them out a few years ago to build them into a franchise for an animated series and loads of merchandising.

We initially reported on the Skrumps waaaay back in January, 2007 (in one of the very first ToughPigs articles written by Ryan Roe!). As Ryan said, The Jim Henson Company hoped that Skrumps characters like “Wishbone” and “Skrumpy” would become household names after the release of their YouTube music videos (one of which is seen below). As you probably know by now, that didn’t quite happen.

But now the Skrumps are back! And thankfully not in the form of Henson’s motion capture puppetry (which seems to work really well for something like Sid the Science Kid, but not so much for something like The Skrumps or Wilson and Ditch). No, now we’re seeing the Skrumps in a whole new medium: comic books.

Archaia Comics, who are already on our good side for bringing us the phenomenal Fraggle Rock comic book, as well as the highly anticipated Dark Crystal, Labyrinth, Storyteller, and A Tale of Sand comics, have published a Skrumps graphic novel titled “The Mooch Steps Up His Game”, which stars everyone’s third-favorite Skrump, The Mooch (and his game).

The story begins with Jeff Lebowski The Mooch, notorious in Skrump Land for mooching off the other Skrumps (get it???), and his quest to score some “treats” in the form of free food. After an unsuccessful visit to a landfill and the local diner (where his friend Treats works, which adds the confusion of his friend sharing the same name as the object of his desire), Mooch finds himself at the pet store where he buys a giant Skrump named Tom. After being evicted from his apartment, Mooch and Tom live the hobo life and (spoiler warning) get a little retribution in the form of some deus ex machina.

Didja follow all that? Don’t worry if it seems a little disjointed, it’s not just you. Heck, it’s probably not just John Chandler either. The “story” has little glue to keep it all together, and reads like a series of story middles with no beginnings or endings. And really, the narrative (or lack thereof) isn’t even among the worst problems of the book.

Let’s start with the character designs. They’re definitely very Dr. Seuss-inspired, with loose lines and interesting-looking creatures. But Chandler (who also illustrates the book) doesn’t quite know when to stop, making each page a Where’s Waldo-esque mess for the eyes with lots of colors and lines and spots and stripes and curls and antennae. There’s nothing to make the characters stand out from the backgrounds, and nothing that suggests where your eye should be focusing. If the book were any longer than 37 pages, I’d guarantee more than a few headaches out there.

Chandler’s other illustration problem is that he created so many interesting-looking characters without knowing how to draw them in more than two positions each. As a result, every frame looks like clip art, with each character always looking straight ahead or directly to the left or right. Actually, Chandler could’ve saved himself a lot of time by using clip art, rather than redrawing the same figures over and over again.

There’s also the strange way that the characters speak. Chandler uses a lot of mid-90s slang like “Homies”, “What up, my brother”, and “Back off, fool”. (Note: This is only okay if John Chandler happens to also be L.L. Cool J.) All of that plus a bag of chips-full of toilet humor makes for a script written by someone who’s so desperately trying to sound cool, yet lives far, far behind the times.

As a side note, the aproned fellow to the right is Skraps, who you might recognize as Dexter Jettster from Attack of the Clones. Skrump gets around!

My favorite part of the book is immediately after Mooch gets kicked out of the diner. He decides that since he has no money for food, he should buy a pet. Because that’s what any of us would do, ammiright? And then after recovering from whiplash from that sudden story shift, Mooch tries to buy a “Funny Little Dude”, which just so happens to look like a miniature version of the pet store owner (both of whom are seen on your left), which raises many questions of morality and legality in Skrump Land in regards to child trafficking and potential abuse. Apparently all of the pets in the store not only look like smaller Skrumps, but they can all speak too, raising the question of what truly separates master and pet. I’ll wait a moment while you consult your philosophy textbooks.

In all seriousness, I do have a favorite part of the book. I dug Mooch’s piggy bank, who is suffering from a severe identity crisis. With lines like, “What is my purpose in life?”, “I feel empty inside”, and “Who am I? WHAT am I? WHY am I?”, he quickly became my favorite Skrump, beating Bubbles the Bubble-loving Skrump by a mile. Sure, it’s a little “Flintstones-ish”, but it’s the only gag in the book that I found remotely clever.

The thing is, I have no idea what to make of The Skrumps. It’s not pretty enough to be a piece of art, it’s not funny enough to be a great kids book, and it’s not clever enough to be a critically revered graphic novel. But more than anything, I’m left wondering what The Jim Henson Company ever saw in it. I suppose they could’ve seen some connection between the wriggly designs and Jim Henson’s Doodles, but the nonsensical stories and lack of focus don’t leave much hope for a successful franchise. But if that’s the sort of thing the Hensons want to spend their money on, my nephew has a great story for sale. It’s about a tractor and a kitty and a giant green circle and what I think is a candy bar with spikes.

So, would I recommend this comic book? Only if you’re the type to own everything with the Jim Henson Company logo on it, which I hope for your sake you’re not. I’m sure you’ll be able to find many other options worth buying if you find yourself at your local comic shop with $6 to burn. Might I suggest, oh, anything??

Click here to take a steaming Skrump on the ToughPigs forum!

by Joe Hennes – Joe@ToughPigs.com