Part Two: Make ‘Em Laugh
| Kermit
|
Now, where’s everybody else? |
| Fozzie
|
Oh, they’re taking the monorail. |
| Kermit
|
Fozzie… the monorail doesn’t come through here. |
| [ With a crash and a blast of steam, the front of a monorail train bursts onto the stage from the wings. ] | |
| Fozzie
|
It does now! |
| [ The monorail door opens, and the Electric Mayhem piles out — Animal, Floyd Pepper, Dr. Teeth, Janice and Zoot. ] | |
| Animal
|
MO-NO-RAIL! MO-NO-RAIL! |
| Dr. Teeth
|
Okay… introducing Dr. Teeth — the one and only — and the Electric Mayhem! |
| Floyd
|
Heeeyyyy! |
| Animal
|
Oh! BABY! Hi, baby! Hi, baby! |
| Dr. Teeth
|
Oh, don’t worry about Animal — he just loves kids. |
| Floyd
|
Yeah! He ate two this morning! |
| Janice
|
Rilly? Oh, fer sure… |
| Kermit
|
All right, all right. Hey, you guys go set up for the big finale, okay? |
| [ The Electric Mayhem exit, and the monorail backs off the stage. ] | |
| Kermit
|
Places, everybody, for the opening number! Opening number — clear the stage! Okay. |
| [ Gonzo and Bean Bunny enter, bringing canes for Kermit and Fozzie. ] | |
| Kermit
|
Fozzie? Hit it! |
| [ They sing “Make ‘Em Laugh,” as scenes from old black and white silent-film comedies are projected on the set behind them. ] | |
| Fozzie
|
Make ’em laugh, make ’em laughDon’t you know all the world wants to laugh
My dad said, be an actor, my son, But be a comical one! |
| Kermit | They’ll be standing in lines,For those old honky tonk monkeyshines! |
| Gonzo
|
Now, you can study Shakespeare, and be quite elite, |
| Bean
|
And you can charm the critics and have nothing to eat, |
| Fozzie
|
Just slip on a banana peel, the world’s at your feet! |
| All
|
Make ’em laugh, make ’em laugh, make ’em laugh! |
| Fozzie
|
Oh, Mr. Frog! |
| Kermit
|
Yes, Mr. Bear? |
| Fozzie
|
Do you know why my uncle tied banana peels to his feet? |
| Kermit
|
No, Mr. Bear! Why did your uncle tie banana peels to his feet? |
| Fozzie
|
Because he wanted a pair of slippers! Aaaaahhhh! |
| Kermit
|
Oh, Mr. Bear! |
| Fozzie
|
Yes, Mr. Frog? |
| Kermit
|
You know, your jokes are like wine! |
| Fozzie
|
You mean, they improve with age? |
| Kermit
|
No, too much of them, and you’re sick! |
| All
|
Make ’em laugh, make ’em laugh,Don’t you know everyone wants to laugh? |
| Gonzo
|
Now, you can study Shakespeare, and be quite elite, |
| Bean
|
And you can charm the critics and have nothing to eat, |
| Fozzie
|
Just slip on a banana peel, the world’s at your feet! |
| All
|
Make ’em laugh… make ’em laugh…Make ’em laugh! |
| Kermit
|
You’re on my flipper. |
| Fozzie
|
Oh, sorry. |
by Danny Horn
