Part Three: Personality
| Kermit
|
Okay. Next, it’s my great privilege to introduce a performer who I’ve known for a long, long time. In fact, we started together so long ago… |
| Piggy
|
That’s enough, Frog! |
| Kermit
|
Uh. Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Piggy! |
| [ Miss Piggy enters, strikes a pose, and sings a Pig version of “Personality”: ] | |
| Piggy
|
Over and over, others have tried to shineOver and over, they try to look as fine!
Over and over, they searched for the secret that’s mine… But over and over, they missed what makes Moi divine! Cause… I’ve… got… |
| [ Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo and Bean enter to sing backup, carrying big feathery fans: ] | |
| Guys
|
Personality! |
| Piggy
|
Walk — (Personality!) —Talk — (Personality!) —
Smile — (Personality!) — Charm — (Personality!) — Love — (Personality!) — And of course I’ve got a great big smi-i-ile! So over — (Over and over!) — And over — (Over and over!) — Oh, I’ll be a star for you! — (Over and over!) — Now, over — (Over and over!) — And oh-oh-over — (Over and over!) — What more can I do? [ Piggy’s performance gets more and more over the top as she repeats the verse and chorus, finally ending up shaking her money-maker for the last chorus: ] So over — (Over and over!) — And oh-over — (Over and over!) — I’ll be a star for you! — (Over and over!) — Now, over — (Over and over!) — And over — (Over and over!) — And over and over and over, I’ll be a star for you! So what — more can I do-oo-oo? |
| Guys
|
What more can Piggy do? |
| [ The Muppets all cover their ears as Piggy finishes with a long, piercing high note. ] | |
| Piggy
|
Thank you! Thank you! Kissy kissy! Kissy kissy! |
| Kermit
|
Yeah. Thanks. |
| [ Everyone exits but Kermit. Floyd and Animal enter. ] | |
| Floyd
|
Yo, Kermit, my main frog! |
| Kermit
|
What is it, Floyd? |
| Floyd
|
We’re gonna need a couple more seconds to get this gig swingin’. |
| Kermit
|
What? |
| Floyd
|
Yeah, you see, Animal ate one of our amplifiers. |
| Animal
|
AM-PLI-FI-ER! AM-PLI-FI-ER! |
| Kermit
|
Well, what am I supposed to do? |
| Floyd
|
Improvise! |
| Animal
|
IM-PRO-VISE! |
| [ Floyd and Animal exit, leaving Kermit alone on stage. ] | |
| Kermit
|
Improvise? Hmm. Well, here’s a nice little song you may have heard. |
| [ The lights go down, and a spinning globe is projected on the back of the set. Fozzie brings in a stool, and Kermit sits down to sing “Bein’ Green”: ] | |
| Kermit
|
It’s not that easy bein’ green,Having to spend each day the color of the leaves,
When I think it could be nicer, Being red or yellow or gold, Something much more colorful like that. But green’s the color of spring, And green can be cool and friendly-like… [ Fozzie, Gonzo and Bean enter and stand around him. ] |
| Fozzie
|
And green can be big, like an ocean! |
| Gonzo
|
And important, like a mountain! |
| Bean
|
And tall, like a tree… |
| Kermit
|
When green is all there is to be,It can make you wonder why —
But, why wonder? Why wonder? I’m green, and it’ll do fine It’s beautiful! And I think it’s what I want to be. Aw. Thank you guys. I wonder if the band is ready now? |
by Danny Horn
