The Jim Henson Hour
Science Fiction, Part 7:
Space Guy vs the Bunnies
Cast: Jim Henson (Kermit), Dave Goelz (Digit), Steve Whitmire (Bean Bunny, Waldo), Gordon Robertson (Lindbergh), Jerry Nelson (Announcer), Fran Brill (Lobster Debbie), Rob Mills (Lobster).
| Kermit
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Hey, Lindbergh, get us out of here!
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| Lindy
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I can’t! I can’t reach the yellow button from inside here. If we work together, maybe we can get Digit to push the button.
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| Kermit
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We have to figure out how to move him.
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| Waldo
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I’ll look for a motor control.
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| Lindy
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Hey, c’mere — look at this!
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| Kermit
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What’s that?
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| Lindy
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It’s a control marked Locomotion!
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| Kermit
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Great! Push it!
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[ Digit starts dancing. ]
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| Digit
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[ singing: ] Everybody’s doing the brand new dance now… Come on, baby, do the Locomotion…
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| [ Kermit and Lindy are knocked around inside Digit’s head. ]
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| Kermit
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Lindbergh, turn it off!
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| Waldo
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Hey — I found the hand control!
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| [ Lindy tries pushing the hand control — but all he can do is make Digit slap himself in the face. ]
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| Kermit
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The feet, quick! Find the controls for the feet!
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| Lindy
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I think this one here…
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[ Lindy pushes the foot controls; Digit lurches around. ]
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| Kermit
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No, no, push it the other way!
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| Lindy
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I’ll try!
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| Kermit
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Find a finger!
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| Waldo
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Uh… finger here!
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| Kermit
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Now the yellow button!
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| Lindy
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Turn, turn!
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| Kermit
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Towards the yellow button…
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| Lindy
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There we go… getting close… here goes!
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|
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[ They get Digit to press the button, which beams them out of his head. ]
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| Kermit
|
Wow. Everybody okay?
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| Waldo
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Whew! That was fun!
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| Kermit
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Now what?
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| Lindy
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I know I had a toolbelt when I went in…
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| [ Lindy shakes Digit, and hears the toolbelt clanking around inside his head. ]
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| Kermit
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Oh, no…
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| [ Kermit notices a sketch starting on the monitor. ]
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| Kermit
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Oh — Here’s Louie Anderson!
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| Anncr
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SPACE GUY! The thrilling story of a guy in space! When last we left Space Guy, he and his faithful crew of lobsters had just escaped another harrowing experience.
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| Louie
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Geez. That was a harrowing experience.
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| Lobsters
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Yeah! Yeah.
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| Louie
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I tell ya, this is one Space Guy who’s never going to mix anti-matter and beer nuts again.
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| Debbie
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Aaaah! Captain Space Guy!
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| Louie
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What now, Lobster Debbie?
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| Debbie
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I’m picking up communications from an alien vessel! Should I put them on the viewscreen?
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| Louie
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But it’s almost time for Bonanza! Oh, all right.
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| Debbie
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Hmmm. where’s the remote?
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| Lobster
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It was here a second ago…
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| Louie
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Oh, don’t you tell me the remote is missing again! Find that remote, or tomorrow it’s gonna be Lobsters For Hire in the paper! Look under the couch!
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| [ CRASH! Space Guy and the lobsters are jolted as a tractor beam locks onto their ship. ]
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| Louie
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What was THAT?
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[ A Lobster points to an alien that can be seen on the viewscreen. ]
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| Lobster
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Look — it’s an alien being!
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| [ The viewscreen zooms out — it’s Bean Bunny, with a gaggle of giggling bunnies. ]
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| Bean
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Actually, I’m an alien Bean! [ The bunnies giggle. ] Hello! I’m Commander Bunny from the planet Cute-tron.
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| Louie
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Whadda ya want?
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| Bean
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I want to be your friend!
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| Louie
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I don’t have friends.
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| Bean
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Aw, what do you say — do you want to sing a song, or play a game?
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| Bunnies
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Yeah!
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| Louie
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Eat my socks, you little carrot sucking pests! Now — let us go before my ferocious team of combat lobsters have to get ROUGH! [ The lobsters growl. ] I’M SPACE GUY!
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| Bean
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Lobsters? What a coincidence, we just found all this melted butter!
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| [ The lobsters wave white flags and abandon ship. ]
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| Lobster
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So long, Space Chump!
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| Louie
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Wait — don’t take the remote!
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| Bean
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So, are we friends now?
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| Louie
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I’ll see you as rabbit stew first, hairball!
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| Bean
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You know, you wouldn’t be so cranky if you were cute! Maybe a little dose of the Cute Ray will cheer you up!
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[ Bean points the Cute Ray at Space Guy, and pulls the trigger. Bubbles come out of the gun… and Space Guy suddenly has pink fuzzy hands and a rabbit nose. ]
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| Louie
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My nose! Hey — my hands! I’ll get you for this, you piece of garbage… Tee hee! Oops.
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| Bean
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See? You just keep getting cuter and cuter…
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|
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[ Bean shoots the Cute Ray again. ]
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| Louie
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Stop it! Stop it! Tee hee hee hee. Oh, you WON’T make me cute — you WON’T! Think of things that aren’t cute… toxic waste… shotguns… Leonard Nimoy… cigar butts… balloons…
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| [ The bunnies laugh. ]
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| Bean
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One more oughta do it!
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| Louie
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You can’t do this to me! I’m not cute! I’m Space Guy! I’m Space Guy!
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| [ Bean shoots the Cute Ray one more time. The bunnies cheer. ]
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| Bean
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Three’s the charm!
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| Louie
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Hi! I’m Pinkaboo — the cutest, cuddliest, most pinkaliciously wonderful person in the universe!
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| [ Bean and the bunnies are sickened. ]
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| Bean
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PINKaboo?
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| Louie
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Will you be my friend?
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| Bean
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Ewwww — maybe I set it too high.
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