Tough Pigs Journal

Nov 2, 2003

 

The Birthday Cookie

 

   There wasn't a Sesame Street calendar this year, and I don't think there's going to be one next year. Which is a real shame, cause Sesame Street calendars are the only way to keep track of the really important holidays.

 

 

   Like Pretend You're A Bus Driver Day (Feb 7), or Make an Angry Face Day (June 18), or Measure Your Mother Day (Jan 11), or Count The Days in October Day (Oct 1). These holidays were listed year after year in Sesame calendars, creating new traditions that I personally followed to the letter.

 

   Sesame calendars also reminded you about the Sesame characters' birthdays, which was helpful. The birthdays must have been determined back in the 70's -- because even in 1990's calendars, you would still see birthdays for Sherlock Hemlock (Apr 17), The Amazing Mumford (June 7), Little Bird (Dec 17), and Sam the Robot (May 23).

 

   What all of this is leading up to is that there are two Sesame holidays that I still celebrate to this day. One is Look for Things Beginning with H Day (Mar 6). That happened to be the day of my first lunch date with my boyfriend, back when I was in college -- and I remember it well, because a friend walked up to me in the middle of the date and said, "HI, Danny! HOW are you? HAPPY Things Beginning with H Day!" and then I had to explain to this guy I was on a first date with that I had a Sesame Street calendar in my dorm room. And we're still together, so that's memorable for me.

 

   The other holiday that still has a place in my heart is November 2nd, which is Cookie Monster's birthday. I love Cookie Monster, and I've always welcomed the chance to honor him. Plus, it's a nice event that helps me get over my post-Halloween letdown.

 

   So, in honor of this great and much-loved monster on his birthday, I present to you a celebratory Cookie Monster sketch.

 

   This sketch is from the 1970's, and features Frank Oz as Cookie Monster, and Jerry Nelson as the Baker.

 

 

    

 

Baker

 

[ hums to himself: ] If I knew you were comin', I'd have baked a cake...

 

 

[ Cookie Monster enters. ] 

 

Cookie

 

Dum de dum dum dum... Hi!

 

Baker

 

Oh, good morning, sir!

 

Cookie

 

Uh... this the bakery?

 

Baker

 

Yes, it certainly is!

 

Cookie

 

You the baker?

 

Baker

 

That I am.

 

Cookie

 

You the man I want to see!

 

Baker

 

Good! How may I help you, sir?

 

    

 

Cookie

 

Well, I want you bake special cookie, for birthday!

 

Baker

 

Oh, sir... we do a beautiful job with birthday cookies.

 

Cookie

 

Oh, good. Good.

 

Baker

 

Yes. May I make a few suggestions.

 

Cookie

 

Why not? You the baker.

 

    

 

Baker

 

All right... use your imagination if you will, sir...

 

Cookie

 

Okay.

 

Baker

 

... And imagine a very, very large cookie.

 

[ As Cookie concentrates, a vision of a large cookie appears over his head. ]

 

Cookie

 

Mmmm... imagining large cookie... Oh! Oh, look at that, I imagined cookie! Mmmm!

 

    

 

Baker

 

Right! But I'm not finished!

 

Cookie

 

No?

 

Baker

 

No, that's not all!

 

Cookie

 

Oh, boy!

 

Baker

 

I thought we'd make this cookie, uh, vanilla, with chocolate stripes.

 

Cookie

 

Oh, I imagine that. I like the way you talk, baker! Imagine... imagine a large cookie... vanilla cookie with chocolate stripes.

 

    

 

 

Baker

 

Right, but that's not all!

 

Cookie

 

Oh! Look at that.

 

Baker

 

That's not all!

 

Cookie

 

Not all?

 

Baker

 

I'm not finished, no, no.

 

Cookie

 

Oh.

 

Baker

 

After that -- now use your imagination again --

 

Cookie

 

Okay. Okay.

 

Baker

 

After that, we're gonna put, uh, we'll add pink and green rosebud frosting around the edges.

 

Cookie

 

Mmmm! Large cookie... vanilla cookie with chocolate stripes... pink and green frosting... Mmmm! Oh, boy! I see it!

 

    

 

Baker

 

But that's not all!

 

Cookie

 

NO?

 

Baker

 

No, we haven't finished with it yet. 

 

Cookie

 

Oh, boy!

 

Baker

 

Use your imagination again --

 

Cookie

 

Okay.

 

Baker

 

And now we're going to add candles all over it.

 

Cookie

 

Oh boy.

 

Baker

 

Candles all over.

 

Cookie

 

Large cookie... vanilla cookie with chocolate stripes... pink and green frosting... with candles! Oh, I see it! It looks so GOOD! Oh! Ohhh! I can't STAND it! Gotta eat cookie NOW!

 

    

 

[ Cookie Monster reaches up and gulps down the imaginary cookie in three big bites. ]

 

    

 

    

 

Cookie

 

Aaaa-RUM! Aaaaa-RUM! Aaaa-RUM-num-num-num-nummmmm! OH! Even IMAGINARY cookie taste good! ALL COOKIES TASTE GOOD!

 

    

 

[ With a satisfied growl, Cookie runs out of the bakery. The baker stands behind the counter, stunned. ]

 

    

 

 

Happy birthday, Cookie Monster!

 

 

 

... And, if you're interested in having your own celebration,

here's a list of all the Sesame characters' birthdays:

 

Jan 13: Rubber Duckie

Jan 28: Ernie

Feb 3: Elmo

Feb 23: Gordon

Feb 29: Kermit

March 20: Big Bird

April 17: Sherlock Hemlock

May 3: Susan

May 23: Sam the Robot

June 1: Oscar

June 7: The Amazing Mumford

June 25: Maria

July 1: Guy Smiley

July 26: Bert

Aug 3: Prairie Dawn

Aug 19: Snuffleupagus

Aug 20: Bob

Aug 31: Herry

Sept 19: Slimey

Sept 29: Telly

Sept 30: Zoe

Oct 4: David

Oct 9: Grover

Oct 14: The Count

Oct 29: Betty Lou

Nov 2: Cookie Monster

Nov 14: Luis

Dec 17: Little Bird

 

Danny@ToughPigs.com

 

Journal Contents

The Muppet Fan Halloween Parade 2003

Bland Dog!: my night with the frictionless movie

Bronze Ambition: Henson honored with a statue