Tough Pigs Journal
November 26, 2002
Frequently Asked Stupid Questions
Part 2: Thanksfornothing
In honor of the Thanksgiving holiday, I'm going to dip into the virtual mailbag again, and show you some of the e-mails I've received this month.
Hi, my name is Rachel.
I appreciated your site so much.
I am trying to write a research paper
for my English class about Kami,
the HIV-positive muppet on Takalani Sesame.
Could you E-mail me any suggestions you have
about how I could get a hold of video copies or transcript,
as well as any other material about Kami and HIV
as it relates to the show?
It would really help me.
Thanks, Rachel
Now, Thanksgiving, as you know, is one of our more hypocritical holidays. Basically, Thanksgiving is a national holiday that commemorates a bunch of people showing up unannounced and taking things that don't belong to them, and then sitting down and thanking God for letting them get away with it.
The "thank you" of Thanksgiving isn't so much an expression of gratitude; it's more like a command, like "Thank you for not smoking," or "Thank you for recognizing that our guns are more powerful than your tomahawks," or "Thank you for writing my English paper for me."
Hi Danny,
My mother has been given the task of finding out
the name of Miss Piggy's last song
by one of her professors (its a scavenger hunt).
Since you are the connoisseur of Muppets facts,
I was hoping you could help us out.
The Tough Pigs website is really cute and funny.
Thanks in advance, Nadia
So here's the thing -- I just don't get what it is about this website that gives
people the impression that I want to help them with whatever little project they
happen to be working on at the moment.
I mean, I generally try to cultivate an air of grouchiness and inaccessibility, specifically so that people won't mistake me for their personal search engine. Clearly, the sanctions are not working.
Dear Danny.
Do You Have News Articles
On Dave Goelz?
Please Let Me Know!
Thank You
Andrew.
So let me be as clear as I possibly can on this point: I didn't start this website because I wanted to help other people. I started this website because I wanted other people to help me.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm all for reciprocal altruism. I'm very nice to people who send me information or pictures, and I'm even nicer to attractive male Muppet fans who flirt with me. But if you're a Tough Pigs reader, then the relationship is pretty unbalanced to start with. I've already done something for you; I've made this website for you to read, and I hope you enjoy it. But if you want anything else, then it's your turn to do something for me. Dig?
Hi Danny,
Please could you confirm
whether the Region 1 RCE Best of DVD's
currently for sale on play.com
are complete episodes or not.
The best of Volume 1 Region 2 is a compilation
Any other info would be useful
Thanks, Pete
Around the holidays, The New York Times prints little reminders all over the
front section that say: "REMEMBER THE NEEDIEST!" And I'm always like, remember
them? If I could only forget about them for five minutes. I'm already
pretty well acquainted with "the Neediest," thank you. I'd guess that
it's probably "the Neediest" who are writing to me every day and
asking for stuff.
In fact, on the whole, "the Neediest" are pretty well represented in my day-to-day interactions. It's "the Wealthiest" that I need more contact with, or "the Most Likely To Give Me Muppet Toys." Frankly, I've had it up to here with "the Neediest." Give "the Neediest" somebody else's e-mail address for a while.
Hello
I love your website,
and was wondering if you could help me out with something...
i have been scouring the internet
for a buddy icon picture of miss piggy
(you know, small and high quality that works with AOLIM)
can you help a huge fan out?
greg
Okay, listen up, everybody. I'll give you a free pass for Thanksgiving, but y'all better get your collective act together by Christmas or there's gonna be a lot of coal in a lot of stockings. You get me?
"Can you help a huge fan out." Why I oughta.
Frequently Asked Stupid Questions: Part 1