Sunday, April 5, 2009
Sesame Toys: Adorable and Horrifying
by Ryan Roe
The first one is a line of officially licensed Sesame Street items made by Fisher Price. They're called Collect-a-Pals, and they were apparently designed to finally provide an answer to the age-old question, "What if Sesame Street characters were little round balls with tiny arms and legs?" You can see all of them on Muppet Wiki, but I think my favorites are Grover (as seen above), Cookie Monster...
...and Snuffy.
They had to cram a whole lot of Snuffleupagus into a tiny little space there, and I think they did an admirable job. These are reportedly available at Target, among other places, so if you've ever wanted to play softball with Elmo as the ball (and I know some of you have), now's your chance.
And now for the opposite end of the spectrum. ToyCyte.com recently posted a report on some unlicensed Sesame toys, produced by a company called RealxHead, that have to be seen to be believed. They're calling them "Real Street," and they're evidently meant to be kaiju-style, kaiju referring to the genre of Japanese entertainment involving bizarre giant monsters.
Yikes. In case you're not sure what you're looking at, that's supposed to be Cookie Monster, Elmo, Big Bird, Oscar the Grouch, and the Count. Now, it's tempting to put these into the "Ugly Muppet Toy" category, but the thing is, these are ugly on purpose. They're grotesque... but they're kind of amazing, too. Most of them are obvious enough reflections of what the characters would look like if they were involved is some sort of freak accident involving radiation, but look at Big Bird:
If I hadn't told you that was supposed to be Big Bird, would you have guessed that's who it was? Maybe the orange feet would have given it away. Then again, I guess it wouldn't matter much to these toymakers if their Hideous Mutant Monstrosity Big Bird doesn't look like the real Big Bird. And here's the best part: If you follow the link on that ToyCyte page, you can order this complete set for just $160 plus shipping! What a bargain!
So, there you go. Two sets of radically different Sesame Street toys. Which ones do you like best?
Click here to talk about Collect-a-Pals, and click here to talk about kaiku Sesame toys, both on the Tough Pigs forum!
Labels: merchandise, Sesame Street, weird stuff
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Muppet Fashion: A Hot Mess
by Ryan Roe
This was part of a series of outfits designed by Jean Charles de Castelbajac. Now, when you see this picture, you probably have one of three reactions:
1. "Sweet merciful crap, she KILLED all those Kermits!!!"
2. "Dude... She's totally topless under the frogs."
3. "Ooh, are those the 2003 Sababa Kermit dolls?"
But either way, the real question is, Why would somebody do this? Even a Muppet fan wouldn't wear this thing, unless he was a real weirdo, and to be a weirdo on top of being a Muppet fan is to exist in a very special echelon of strangeness.
But wait, there's more.
I was about to say, "Man, Animal looks pissed to have his hollowed-out skull used as a miniskirt!" But then I realized the model isn't smiling either. So Animal's just playing along. He's a model too.
Here's Kermit practicing for his role in Hamlet while standing in a crosswalk. This outfit's not so bad, actually... As some folks on the Tough Pigs forum have pointed out, the pearls seem to be a nod to Miss Piggy, which is a nice touch. But I really have to wonder how this chick can keep a straight face when she has Kermit the Frog's head on top of her head.
It's nice to see Animal in a better mood. Hey, have you noticed that all these women are wearing gray and white wigs? I'm sure the designer would be able to tell us how the whole thing represents the fact that we are all puppets our entire lives, manipulated by forces beyond our control until we grow old and our hair turns gray. Or maybe he got drunk one night and bought a bunch of Muppet stuff on eBay and didn't know how else to get rid of it.
I guess this is Fozzie, although it's possible it's an Ewok.
So there you go. The Muppets take the fashion world by storm. If you click around the web, you can probably find a few more of these pictures. And if you're wondering where to buy these outfits so you can wear them to your next fondue party, I have no doubt that all of them will soon be sold off the rack at every Wal-Mart in the country.
Click here to strut your stuff on the catwalk at the Tough Pigs forum!
Labels: events, news, weird stuff
Friday, February 20, 2009
"Chara Hiroba" Is Japanese for "Weeeird Toys" (Part Two)
by Ryan Roe
You know, I've long wished top hats would come back in style, and I feel pretty confident that Big Bird, Elmo, and Cookie Monster are the fashion trendsetters who could make it happen. Also, note their bold choice of hats and bow ties without tuxedos, and in fact, without any shirts or pants at all.
Next: As Big Bird awoke one morning from uneasy dreams...
Here we have Elmo as a butterfly, which seems appropriate enough, and Big Bird as a bee, which is fine... But Cookie Monster as a ladybug? I don't quite get it. I see him more as a praying mantis or a daddy longlegs. Still, he's overjoyed to be an insect, as is Elmo. Big Bird, on the other hand, is more contemplative, perhaps concerned with the sudden realization that bees don't eat birdseed.
This is from the time the Sesame Street Muppets went to a furry convention. (And of course, they wore their bow ties.)
Here we have our familiar threesome as angels up in heaven, watching over humanity from their post near the famous Heavenly Sprigs of Parsley. Part of me wonders if Chara Hiroba made these toys because they were running short on dye. ("Aw, heck, let's just put wings on 'em and call them angels!")
The most miraculous thing about these toys: They got Cookie Monster's neck right! So many toy incarnations of Cookie feature a round head atop a pear-shaped body, which is just not what he looks like. But here, his tapers into his body exactly as it should. This might just be the most accurate representation of Cookie Monster's neck I've ever seen, and you can quote me on that.
A word of warning before I go onto the next photo: For the die-hard old-school Sesame fans, this may be a horrible, horrible nightmare come to life.
If there were just four more Elmos, he could be the happiest jury of all time.
Ernie's mouth hangs open in shock as he beholds the sight of his Rubber Duckie grown to gigantic proportions! He stares out at us, as if to say, "How did this happen?!"
I want these on my head.
I want these on my feet.
I would love to see an episode of Sesame Street where Elmo and Cookie Monster race around the Hawaiian islands on giant bananas. It would be very educational.
Elmo had so much fun at the furry convention, he went back the next year. So, from left to right, Elmo is a bear, a cat, and... another cat?
Two monsters, just chillin', up in the clouds. I wonder why Big Bird's not with them this time. Gosh, I hope he didn't fall of his cloud... I'm pretty sure that bird don't fly.
I don't know about you, but I always carry around miniature versions of my friends so I don't forget what they look like. So does Elmo:
Two Elmos, both in need of a beard & moustache trimmer. One holds a doll of Cookie Monster, the other holds a doll of... caramel-flavored Cookie Monster? At least they're both wearing Cookie's trademark bow tie.
That's it for this parade of playthings. Now, who wants to join me on a trip to Japan?
Click here to express your deep, burning desire for a Cookie Monster witch hat on the Tough Pigs forum!
Labels: merchandise, Sesame Street, weird stuff
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Chara Hiroba Is Japanese for "Weeeird Toys" (Part One)
by Ryan Roe
I mean, a lot of them are cute. Like these Muppets wearing sombreros:
Yay, they're forming a mariachi band! Except they all showed up with maracas and nobody knows how to play guitar. Oh well.
And then there's these guys:
Look how adorable they are! And they're best friends, 'cause they're holding hands! Except Rubber Duckie, who doesn't have any friends. These toys are also very small. You probably shouldn't leave those lying around anywhere near a small child, because that's the kind of thing kids love putting in their mouth. Oh, but you think those are small? Check these out:
One of those could fit in your nostril with no effort at all. Oscar seems to have traded his trash can for a cotton ball.
So those are all very nice, but then you come across something like this:
And two questions come to mind: 1. What? and 2. Huuuh? Are these bricks? Could you build a house out of Cookie Monsters and Elmos and Big Birds? If so, that's the most compelling reason to move to Japan I've ever heard. By the way, these three Muppets seem to be the most popular characters in Japan, at least if you judge by toys like these similarly rectangular products:
Elmo, you're a blockhead. Ha!
Now these are interesting. The only thing distinguishing Elmo from Cookie Monster here is the presence of a nose, and slightly more focused eyes. I guess that's two things. Oh, and the color, so that's three things. Nevermind.
Hey, how about Muppets in animal costumes?
This is from the time Cookie, Elmo, and Big Bird tried to crash Kermit's family reunion, I guess. But where are Cookie's froggy eyes? And more importantly, would they be googly too?
Man, I don't remember Elmo being so leggy. Or so... army?
These aren't actually that weird... but look at their faces. They seem to be expressing pure terror, don't they? "NOOO! NOOO, PLEASE DON'T PUT ME ON YOUR HEAD! ANYTHING BUT THAT! AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHMMMF!!!" Something like that.
Hmm. Are they cheerleaders, or boxers? Or did they get melons stuck on their hands?
Yikes! What kid in any country of the world wants this thing? I think it would be a little less shocking if his nose were in color. Then it would just be like, Oh, okay, it's Elderly Elmo! Tickle him and he laughs and then has a coughing fit! But this is something else altogether. I don't really know what it is.
Have you seen enough? Well, I haven't. Click here for part two!
Click here to discuss crazy toys on the Tough Pigs forum!
Labels: merchandise, Sesame Street, weird stuff
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