Normally, I roll my eyes at made-up holidays. Who cares if it’s National Cactus Appreciation Day? Or National Smoked Salmon Day? I’m not going to go out of my way to buy smoked salmon, I’m not going to wear my smoked salmon t-shirt, and I wasn’t invited to any of your fancy smoked salmon parties and I didn’t even want to be invited in the first place and I’ll just sit at home and eat literally anything else out of spite while choking back smoked salmon-flavored tears.
But then about a month ago, Kermit the Frog released this tweet:
Apparently today is #NoSocksDay. Maybe these random holidays are getting out of hand, but at least we don't have #MissPiggyDay yet.
— Kermit the Frog (@KermitTheFrog) May 8, 2017
No Socks Day?? Come on. But get past that, and Kermit drops an interesting idea. Miss Piggy Day? I can get behind it.
We talked with our frenemies over at the Muppet Mindset and decided that there should be a Miss Piggy Day. And we’re just the nerds to make it happen!
Our first question became: When? How do you indicate which one of 365 days should signify an entire holiday? Easy, we chose Miss Piggy’s birthday. Which, according to the classic book “Miss Piggy’s Guide to Life“, is today. June 14th, [year redacted, out of fear].
So, what makes Miss Piggy worthy of her own holiday? Like, a billion reasons, that’s why.
She’s among the most recognizable female characters in popular culture. She’s a badass lady who doesn’t take any crap from anyone. She’s also a wonderful performer, having provided countless songs from throughout the years as well as memorable moments both comedic and heartbreaking.
As far as Muppets go, Piggy deserves her own holiday more than anyone. Yeah, even the Frog. Kermit might be the face of the Muppets, but Miss Piggy represents something more. By paying homage to the Muppets through the second-most famous character, we hone in on the Muppet family as a whole. Kermit brings along connotations of the Muppets as a brand name, a history that goes as far back as Sam and Friends, a legacy with Sesame Street, and everything connected to Jim Henson himself. But Miss Piggy is a Muppet, and her lifeline takes us from The Muppet Show through the recent Muppet films and TV series. Piggy allows us to celebrate her cast of characters without the distraction of literally everything else.
Okay, so we’ve established why Miss Piggy has been deemed worthy of her own spot on the calendar. And now you’re likely asking yourself, “But how do I celebrate my new favorite holiday Miss Piggy Day??? Will my boss let me have the day off?”
To answer the second question first: Yes, unless your boss is a heartless Muppet-hater. In such a case, you should probably quit your job, and then the day off is yours! And all the rest of them too!
And to answer your first question second: There’s no wrong way to celebrate Miss Piggy Day!
You can post all your favorite Miss Piggy videos, pictures, and fan art to social media (using the hashtag #MissPiggyDay, of course).
You can put a little Piggy-inspired flair into your wardrobe. Say, a pink bow in your hair, or a pair of purple velvet gloves.
You can avoid eating pork for 24 hours because you know Miss Piggy would appreciate your sacrifice.
Forget “Dance like no one’s watching.” Instead, sing like everyone is watching.
Use your judo skills for the forces of good. Or blind jealousy.
Learn a new language! Like fake French. Quelle Difference.
Three words: Treat. Yo. Self. Live the glamorous life a diva like yourself deserves. I’m talking pearls, caviar, toy poodles, donuts, a Thingy Thing, you name it. It’s what Miss Piggy would do.
See? Miss Piggy Day is our new favorite holiday, and it’s a great idea, and we should celebrate every year. Happy Miss Piggy Day, everyone. Kissy Kissy.
Click here to karate chop your way into getting a Hallmark card on the ToughPigs forum!
by Joe Hennes – Joe@ToughPigs.com
