More Breaking News, Part One

Published: May 1, 2003

Breaking News

Part 10: Three Little Pigs — The Day After

Cast: Jim Henson (Kermit),Kevin Clash (Pig #1), Marty Robinson (Pig #2), Richard Hunt (Pig #3), Jerry Nelson (Wolf, Announcer).

Announcer

And now, a Sesame Street News Flash! We understand that some unfortunate piggies have been left homeless! We take you now live to our reporter on the scene, Kermit the Frog!

Kermit

[ facing the wrong direction: ] Hi ho, this is Kermit the Frog, and… hm? [ He turns around to face the camera. ] Hi ho, this is Kermit the Frog, and I am standing beside the homes — or should I say the former homes — of the Three Little Pigs! And… oh, look, here comes one of those pigs right now… uh, excuse me, pig! Pardon me, pig! Uh, pig! Kermit the Frog here, Sesame Street News… I was wondering, I can see that your house, which was made of straw, was, uh, virtually, uh, it doesn’t exist anymore. Can you tell our audience how you feel about that, please.

Pig #1	Can I tell you how I FEEL about that?
Kermit	Mm hm.
Pig #1	Aww, what kind of a DUMB question is THAT? I’m ANGRY! Mmmmmm! That’s how I feel about that! How would YOU feel if some big wolf came along and huffed and puffed and blew YOUR house down, huh? ANGRY! That’s how you’d feel!
Kermit	Yes, okay, angry.
Pig #1	Ohhh, you newscasters! Grrrrr. [ The angry pig stalks away. ]
Kermit	Yes, well, that’s one angry pig, as well he might be.

Kermit	And, uh, looking a little further here, I think here comes another pig… Uh, pardon me, pig, I see that your house, which was made of sticks, was virtually demolished! Can you tell our viewers how you feel about that, please?
Pig #2	How do I feel? How can you be so cruel as to ask me that? Here, my house is in rubbles, and you ask me how I feel?
Kermit	Mm hmm.
Pig #2	SAD, that’s how I feel! Oh… you news persons… how would YOU feel if some big wolf came by and blew and huffed and puffed on your lily pad, huh? How would YOU feel?
Kermit	Well, I, I guess I would feel sad.
Pig #2	Sad! Right!
Kermit	I guess. Yeah. Sad it is, then.
Pig #2	Sad… [ The sad pig exits. ]
Kermit	Uh… okay, well, there goes one sad pig.

Kermit	But, uh, there seems to be another house left standing here, this house here which is made of bricks… and there is one of the pigs left out there…
Pig #3	No, no, Muffin, Muffin, tell them to put the satellite dish on the other side of the squash court —
Kermit	I see this is the owner of the brick house, which seems to be just fine, uh, pardon me, pig, I was wondering if you would tell our audience how you feel about your house sitting here nice and solid and strong!
Pig #3	Oh, well, how do I feel?
Kermit	Mm hmm.
Pig #3	Why, I feel… PROUD!
Kermit	Proud.
Pig #3	Why, yes, proud. It took a long time to build this house — it IS the strongest house on the block — and the old wolf couldn’t blow this down if he TRIED to! Yes, I’d say I feel very, very… proud.
Kermit	Mm hm. Mm hm.

	[ The other pigs approach, grumbling. ]
Pig #3	Oh, fellas! What seems to be the problem?
Pig #2	Ohhh… my house got blown in…
Pig #1	Rrrrr… Mine too!
Pig #3	Well, gee, my house is still standing just fine… SAAAAAY! Why don’t you fellas join me and Muffin for a little while?
Pig #2	Really?
Pig #3	She just made some lemonade, we could have a couple drinkie-poos by the pool?
Pig #2	Hey! That makes me HAPPY!
Pig #3	Awwww…
Pig #1	That makes me happy too!
Pig #3	Mmmm. Don’t fall into the conversation pit!
	[ The Pigs all file into the house. ]

Kermit	Well, it looks like everybody ended up feeling nice and happy, so this has been Kermit the Frog, reporting to you on the emotional state of the Three Little Pigs, two of whom were left temporarily homeless as a result of some serious huffing and puffing from an alleged large wolf.
	[ A Big Bad Wolf rushes up to Kermit. ]
Wolf	What do ya mean, ALLEGED?
Kermit	Uh… well, uh…
	[ The Wolf huffs and puffs, and blows Kermit off screen. ]
Kermit	This is Kermit the Frog, signing ooooooffffff…..