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Sept 24-28, 2001
Listen, please! Can anyone hear me? My name is Danny; I'm a Muppet fan. I'm trapped in space and I have to watch Farscape all week. Luckily, I have two friends helping me out -- DW McKim, who's been a Farscape fanatic from the start, and Rose Sage, a recent convert. They'll help me understand the strange things I find on my journey. I think I'm also being chased by an insane military commander, but it's hard to tell. It's really dark up here.
Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday
Monday, Sept 24: We've tried it YOUR way and one of us is DEAD.
Danny: Okay, so let me get this straight. Crichton is in space, right? And he lives on this ship with all these aliens. At the beginning of the episode, they find a wormhole that leads back to Earth. Crichton goes through the tunnel, lands in Australia, and is instantly snatched up by the Bad Government Guys. He talks to his dad about fish, and then all his alien friends show up. The Bad Government Guys play Alien Autopsy on Rygel, so Aeryn and Crichton beat up some soldiers and escape. Crichton finally figures out that this isn't real when he notices that all the magazines are seven months old. He goes into a bar, which he recognizes from Earth. He goes into the men's room, which looks like it did when he was there. But he's never been in the ladies' room, and he has NO IDEA what one looks like. He opens the ladies' room door, and aaaaah! The ladies' room is so SCARY inside! How do ladies DO it? So, who knew, turns out that everything that's happened in the whole episode is a physical creation built from Crichton's memories to test how humans would respond to the idea of sharing their planet with a bunch of aliens that look like Jar Jar Binks. It wasn't Earth, it wasn't his dad, Bobby's in the shower, Gilligan doesn't get home. In fact, the whole episode doesn't even exist. I call a do-over. Sci-Fi owes me one episode of Farscape.
DW: My thoughts when I first saw this episode was that it couldn't end up being Earth yet... not in episode 16... and that was pretty much confirmed when Rygel was killed... The fun is seeing what they do with it and how they resolve it. And yes, the end DOES feel like a cop-out and that this episode ultimately doesn't matter. But it will later turn out that this episode ends up being of huge significance; several future plot developments stem from this episode... so you DO get the episode that you're owed... many times over! And not all of the episode is a throwaway by itself... that was the real Aeryn with John. She's now seen a dark version of his world, and that might affect her willingness to go with him if he does find a way back to Earth. Moya's fugitives now have a new food supply. And most importantly - Aeryn and John actually slept together! (The US version's editing leaves it open to interpretation... but the extra UK scenes verify that they did indeed "recreate.")
Rose: Damn! So you had to start watching Farscape with the one episode that made me stop watching Farscape back in Season One. Back in the Old Days (1999?), I eagerly waited for Farscape to debut, and then watched the premiere land with a thud in my living room. I watched several other episodes, thinking, "Ah, this is where the rejected Next Generation episodes went to," before giving up on the series with this episode. Yes, Danny, this is NOT a good episode. It has the patented Star Trek reset button - though, as my Farscape-loving spouse puts it, not really a reset, but an "exploration" of Crichton's mind, showing how much the Farscape journey has changed him already. Yup, he's changed all right. Enough to have a mild hissy fit when they dissect one of his companions. Mind you, it was one of his more annoying companions and a puppet at that, but I expected a little bit more from him than an indignant speech. Which brings me to the main reason I stopped watching Farscape two years ago: Crichton. Not only did I find the actor playing him unconvincing (come on, this man's a rocket scientist?), but I found Crichton to be one of the most annoying characters I've endured on TV. Now, either the writing has gotten better, or the actor has, because the current season episodes I've watched have intrigued me. Crichton comes along as cranky, sure, but not as wooden, self-righteous and self-involved. Could it be character development? In episodic TV? So I'm determined to slog through these early episodes, bolstered by the current season episodes, the interesting secondary characters, and the assurances of loved ones that these forays do establish important groundwork for the more interesting things to come.
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Tuesday, Sept 25: It's a hat! It's a brooch! It's a molecular diaspora!
Danny: You guys, this is messing up my whole arc. I had this whole week planned out already. I was supposed to hate Monday's episode. (Check!) Then I'll find something that I kind of liked about Tuesday's episode. I start coming around on Thursday. By Friday, I'm a Farscape fan, we laugh, we sing, we learn an important lesson about life. It was supposed to be beautiful. But I'm sorry, there's just nothing to like about tonight's episode. After a well-written opening scene with lots of character-based conflict -- I am willing to concede the excellent opening scene -- then all of a sudden everything gets shouty again. The ship splits into four parts; the cast is in crisis-mode. There's about ten minutes of Aeryn and John running around in circles accompanied by an ear-splitting din. They don't know what to do, so they throw technobabble at it. It's a parallel reality! No, it's a dimensional schism! Not buying that? Would you believe a molecular diaspora? I'm sorry, guys. I hate to put you in the position of defending this horrible show. But could you please defend this horrible show?
DW: How can I defend it? By not getting too caught up in the "science" and watching what the show does with the situation. This episode took some huge artistic risks which is something I admire -- they aren't afraid to push an envelope even if they fall flat on their face doing it. The first quarter, we have a drama where some of the basic elements of communication are stripped away -- all of a sudden, the physical realities that the cast takes for granted is suddenly and dramatically changed, and they have to struggle to figure out what the heck happened, what to do about it, where to find everyone else, and how to accomplish this when they can't hear each other. I like that they didn't take the easy route and downplay the confusion. Would you rather they conveniently figure out what's going on from the beginning? Once you get past the weirdness of the first act, there's some wonderful character stuff throughout the episode. This is where the crew becomes a bit more unified and bonded -- the parallel between the sniping meal scene at the beginning and the jovial meal at the end! Farscape doesn't play things safe. One of its hallmarks is to take a sci-fi situation and turn it on its head or add a unique twist to it. It doesn't always work. I admire that they aren't afraid to fail. But when it succeeds, it succeeds brilliantly. Stick with it, and you'll find yourself back on your script! Then later you can watch some of the episodes that bothered you earlier and pick up on some great stuff you missed the first viewing because you were so freaked out!
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Wednesday, Sept 26: Lower your weapon, captain...
Danny: Forget everything I said about Farscape for the last two days. In today's episode, a Peacekeeper ship docks on Moya, and out comes a bunch of Australian soap stars, led by Simon from As the World Turns. Simon is one of the most devastatingly handsome men I've ever seen, all dark eyes and cheekbones, dressed in a tight black leather outfit and wielding a huge weapon. Then Crichton enters dressed in a black and red leather outfit of his own, with huge black leather boots. I think he's pretending to be a Peacekeeper captain too, but for some reason, I'm finding it hard to concentrate. Simon gets real close, shoves his weapon in Crichton's face, and murmurs, "I hereby command your ship, your crew... and YOU." Wow. All of a sudden I LOVE THIS SHOW. Simon is sci-fi sex on a stick. He's all sweaty and twitchy, and whenever he talks, he stares right into your eyes and talks really low. They keep mentioning exit shafts and infecting people through physical contact. I have no idea what they're talking about at this point, but I can't take my eyes away. Simon comes on to Crichton for a while, then moves on to Aeryn. Chiana spills a drink on another Peacekeeper's crotch, and later on she's kissing him. Crichton licks his lips and stares hungrily at another Peacekeeper. Everybody's groping and pushing and at some point D'argo gets chained to a wall. They're all pointing their guns and shouting at each other. This is fantastic. Farscape is my new favorite show ever.
DW: Ah yes -- a very important turning point for Crichton here -- his first attempt at impersonating a Peacekeeper. They say clothes make the man, and once John slips on the uniform, it becomes his regular mode of dress. Gone are the days of the geeky orange flight suit. Sure, there's a lot of practicality -- blending in with the locals, appearing as one of the hunters rather than the hunted, yada yada yada... but it's also a physical representation in the change of his character. He's turning away from the confused stranger in a strange land and gettin' him some "lived here all mah life" attitude. We see that John is starting to pick up some of Aeryn's toughness, while Aeryn discovers non-military "human" emotions. But, bottom line... it just makes him look ultra super yummy. He'll do some overcompensation with outer space hair mousse for a while at the beginning of Season Two, but hey -- every Barbie and Ken make some early mistakes while they're playing with all their fabulous new accessories!
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Thursday, Sept 27: Soapscape
Danny: I'm finally starting to understand Farscape's appeal. DW suggested on Tuesday that I ignore the "science," and he's right. This isn't a science-fiction show; it's a soap opera dressed up in science-fiction drag. Although that can be distracting sometimes, viz: the following exchange at the start of today's episode. Rygel: "You aren't just farbot. You're MAGRA-farbot!" Crichton: "I did it before. I can do it again." Chiana: "Yeah. By the skin of your mibbogs." A-hem. Moving on. The episode jumps into soap mode right away, with Aeryn collapsing on the floor. In our last episode, Aeryn was stabbed by Simon -- right in the mibbogs! -- and now she needs a nerve transplant or she'll DIE. Cue the organ music. Crichton puts on his leather-and-buckles outfit again to look for a tissue match at the secret Peacekeeper base. Safely established at the Peacekeeper bar, Crichton gets his first look at Scorpius, who strikes a pose in the doorway in his big black plastic shoulder pads. In that outfit, Scorpius looks so much like Alexis Carrington from Dynasty that I wanted him to sashay up to Crichton and throw a drink in his face. Anyway, before you know it, Crichton runs into -- dramatic organ sting -- his old girlfriend, played by Nicolette Sheridan from Knots Landing. They kiss, and then she gives him a tissue sample. (Although that makes it sound more exciting than it really is.) Her eyes fill with tears as she murmurs, "We always seem to be saying goodbye." The music swells, it's a hanky moment. Then Scorpius Carrington comes along, arrests Crichton, and sticks him in a big chair that steals his memories. Soap operas are always so complicated! Thanks to the big brain-sucking chair, Scorpius catches up on the Farscape reruns in Crichton's memory bank. Oddly, Crichton's memories include both close-ups of himself and effects shots of Moya as seen from space. Apparently, they're doing some nice editing work inside Crichton's brain. Scorpius also watches some extra scenes from Monday's episode that we didn't see, like Crichton's brain is a DVD packed with special features and audio commentaries. I wish we could watch the show in Crichton's head instead of the real show; it seems more exciting, and he gets all the cool extras. Anyway, Nicolette realizes that Crichton loves Aeryn and not her, and she gets all teary again. Crais arrives at the base, and immediately has a big catfight with Scorpius over who owns Crichton. Aeryn is cured, and she and D'Argo have a moment. I have no idea why this show is on the Sci-Fi Channel, when it so obviously belongs on SoapNet. This is a direct descendant of The Colbys and Falcon Crest -- all these pretty people with too many servants fighting like cats and dogs over nothing at all. In my ideal Farscape, Scorpius would be played by Jane Wyman, sitting behind her big desk and barking: "Soon, I'll know EVERYthing, and then the winery -- I mean, the wormhole -- will be MINE." I'd go magra-farbot.
Rose: Yes, this was the episode that we begin to see a new side to Crichton... mmmmm, red and black leather. Oh, right. What was I saying? Yeah, he starts taking control of situations instead of reacting blindly, and in later episodes, he starts wearing this long black leather coat, and striding around purposefully, and then D'argo changes his outfit to one with leather shoulder pads, and he starts making eyes at Chiana, and... Okay, it IS a soap opera. A big sweaty sci fi soap opera where people and puppets have longings and desires, and they yell at each other, and laugh, and make love, and have babies, and plot, and blow things up, and save each other from horrible icky creatures. The dialogue is fun. The characters grow and change, and damn if you don't start caring about them. It's like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but instead of using a fantasy backdrop and demons as metaphors for life's journeys and lessons, it uses Science Fiction and aliens and space ships and leather. Lots and lots of leather.
DW: If one was to classify what genre Farscape falls in, the simple answer would be sci-fi... then, if you wanted to be more specific, Farscape would fall into the category of "space opera." Which is not at all a bad thing. Although the daytime soap industry has tended to sour people's images of continuing drama, we've seen several prime-time drama shows over the last decade adapt more continuous story arcs -- which I much prefer than to have everything nice and neatly wrapped up in 45 minutes every single week. Farscape does two things very distinctive to a lot of other sci-fi programs. The characters are allowed to be very "human" -- they bicker, get jealous, have power plays, fights, and shifting loyalties. They also put a lot of faith in its audience to pay attention, so they can do a lot of rapid story and character development. I love Wayne Pygram's Scorpius because he IS campy but not completely over the top -- he mixes just about the right amount of camp and serious menace. The design of the character is mostly great and serves a practical purpose which is explored later, except for those high shoulder pads which don't serve any purpose than eye-candy. And worst of all... the "tail" in his leather catsuit! He's a Sebacean/Scarren halfbreed. Neither race has tails. I doubt scorpions would be a known creature in this part of the universe, so to apply the concept so overtly to his name and his design doesn't work. The tail is totally gratuitous -- why have something that an enemy can use to grab onto in a fight? His nurses have it as well. Just silly.
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Friday, Sept 28: Sticky, but not in a good way.
Danny: So now I think I'm ready for Friday's episode, which jumps into the middle of the third season. The third season doesn't seem that different from the first season, except that it's COMPLETELY HORRIBLE. To start with, Crichton, D'argo, Chiana and some Klingon lady land their shuttle pod on a diseased Leviathan prison ship. And oh yuck! This ship has saggy diapers that leak. It's all dark and drippy, and there's a bunch of dirty caveman hobo people who keep chewing on everything. Then D'argo meets up with a scary Hannibal Lecter zombie guy, who drills a needle right into his brain! It just gets worse. Chiana freaks out and starts shooting everything, then lights D'argo's corpse on fire and throws it off a balcony. Crichton finds a Pilot whose arms have been torn off. Turns out that the Hannibal Lecter guy "copied" D'argo before killing one, and now he's going to breed the other D'argo to a white-haired dog girl. This is so gross. God, yesterday, Farscape was all sexed-up and groovy. This is like watching someone pick at a scab. Here's the ultimate evidence that this episode isn't any fun -- Crichton gets "twinned" at the end, so now there are two identical Crichtons. And Aeryn looks worried about this, instead of thrilled. I was actually considering watching more of this show. But is the whole third season all drippy and shouty and scary?
Rose: Horror shows are not my cup of tea. I don't enjoy fiction that presents the marrow of the universe as filled with malice and general ickiness. The only thing of interest for me in the whole episode is the end, showing how the third season ends up with two Crichtons. That's a plot twist that they do some interesting (and heartbreaking) things with. But the getting there was just too dark for me. I just chalked it up to the Halloween episode syndrome and moved on.
DW: Farscape doesn't stay confined to a particular genre, and sometimes they cross the border into others -- so when someone tunes in, you never quite know what you're going to see. This episode is their take on a horror story. If it scares you, that's good. If it scares you away from watching any more of season three, that's bad. It's not by any means a representation, but rather a diversion. Personally, I thought this episode was one of the season's weaker ones -- not necessarily because of the theme or tone, but because Ben Browder goes way overboard in his performance. He can be quite brilliant at times, but in this installment, the director needed to have Ben chained up, not D'argo! The guest characters looked like a comic book artist's idea of horrifying. But I loved the little teases of the Moya/Crais/Talyn storyline in here. And, as Rose said, the main function of the episode is to set up the twinned Crichton arc. A soap convention? Yeah. But one that they use to their favor and commit to -- the twin isn't killed in an episode or two. And ya gotta give Aeryn some slack -- if my Romeo had been twinned, and all they wanted to do is play rock-paper-scissors with each other, I probably wouldn't be too happy either. But trust me, Aeryn gets to have her share of fun with one of the Crichtons later... and so do the viewers! Farscape's not for everyone, and what one gets out of the show can be influenced by how much the individual is willing to allow it. They take some chances (and, admittedly, the occasional cop-outs), but they always keep me guessing and interested. They've got some wonderful directors and actors, and when they're given a chance to be an active part of the story, Rygel and Pilot can be as intriguing as anyone else on television. If ain't your father's Star Trek; it's unique -- and, as Scorpius would say, "unique is always valuable."
Danny's Final Verdict: I haven't liked everything I've seen in this week of Farscape. I thought Monday's episode was fairly pointless, and Tuesday's was just straight-up annoying. Friday's was kind of depressing and yucky, and it dragged a bit. But I have to give DW and Rose credit for pointing me towards the continuing-arc aspects of the show, and Wednesday and Thursday proved them right. I love soap operas, and I love science fiction -- so a sexy, sweaty, shouty sci-fi soap is actually really appealing for me. As much as I made fun of the show this week, I'm still wondering what happens next. How does Crichton get out of the big brain-sucking chair? Does he ever figure out the secrets of wormhole technology? What happens to Moya's baby? Do the twin Crichtons ever have sex with each other? I have to admit it -- I want to know. If you'd asked me on Tuesday, I would have said that I hated the show. Three episodes later, I'm planning to ask DW to send me some more tapes of the first season. So, the final score: Farscape Fans 1, Farscape Detractors 0. Good game, guys. Now where are those tapes?
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