The Farmer Takes a Wife
Thursday, April 25
The Farmer Takes a WifeSo the challenge was to spend a whole week listening to nothing but Sesame Street music. Which, to anyone familiar with Sesame Street music, doesn’t really seem like that much of a challenge. Not really. I mean, they’ve produced a huge variety of music over thirty years, in all kinds of styles, and with an ever-changing cast — the choice should be pretty wide.
Well, perhaps not that wide, since for some reason the pool of available tracks they’ve chosen from for the compilation albums seems to be somewhat limited, and for every straight-out double-up (for example, Ernie singing Imagination appears on several albums), there also seems to be a subtle variation (Elmo sings Imagination on one of them).
So it was getting a little bit wearing. Another Sesame compilation. Another theme song. Another song from the Count. Another version of Sing.
But today, a golden shaft of light appears in the sky, and a heavenly chorus sings a particularly nice major chord, and along comes Kids’ Favorite Songs, as if to answer my prayers: 15 tracks, and not a Sesame stand-by in sight. This’ll make a nice change.
Or so I thought, until just 38 seconds into track one, when Big Bird, singing The Farmer In The Dell, tells us to sing, “The farmer takes a wife.”
The farmer does WHAT now?
“The farmer takes a wife!”
Luckily, for those of us who weren’t sure they were hearing it right the first or second times, it’s quite a repetitive song, so Big Bird sings it a few more times for us.
Okay, so maybe Big Bird doesn’t quite mean it in the possessive, patriarchal, possibly even forcible way that it might sound. I mean, maybe the farmer takes a wife… to the movies. To watch The Sound of Music. Yeah, I’ll bet that’s what it is. I mean, what other sense of the word “takes” could he possibly mean?
I just hope he doesn’t mean it in the same sense that, moments later, he tells us “the dog takes the cat.”
I’m being childish, of course. And it’s not Big Bird’s fault that Sir John Traditional’s lyrics to The Farmer In The Dell might be a little outdated, even archaic. But Big Bird chose to sing it, didn’t he? I mean, he could have changed it a little, or just quietly, without making a fuss, put the Farmer out to pasture and sung Humpty Dumpty instead. Right?
It goes on some more. Elmo sings John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, Prairie Dawn sings Ring Around the Rosy and Skip To My Lou, and then Polly Darton is Comin’ Round The Mountain…
… And I’m bored out of my brain. The only thing that provides any relief from the constant onslaught of dullness is another dim-witted Bird moment:
Elmo: Polly Darton is coming to Sesame Street!
Big Bird: You mean Polly Darton, the world-famous singer?
No, Big Bird, he means Polly Darton, the world-famous systems analyst. And if you keep that dull expository dialogue up, you’re gonna get a smack across the beak.
The problem is, these are all really simple, dull, repetitive songs, with lyrics that have been largely rendered meaningless by the passing of the years. Sure, they’re supposed to be simple and repetitive — that’s what nursery rhymes are for. But there’s a reason Sesame Street has lasted for so long: it gives us something different from dull nursery rhymes. Clever, knowing twists on dull nursery rhymes. Smart, catchy songs with lyrics that are entertaining and actually mean something. Songs that come from the heart of the characters. Until now.
It does seem like a good idea: Everybody’s favorite Sesame Street characters singing songs that every kid sings every day with his family and at pre-school. Row Row Row Your Boat sung by Mr. Snuffleupagus and Elmo — what could be more perfect?
And what could be more bland?
Tomorrow: Saved by the Alphabet!
by Kynan Barker
