Santa Maybe, Part Four

Published: December 23, 2005
Categories: Uncategorized

Saint and Pete Visit Us (Sint En Piet Op Bezoek)

Ernie

Grover, Grover, take it easy. I have an idea. I’m glad you’re here.

Grover

Oh, are you really happy I am here?

Ernie

Yes, because now the three of us can sing a canon.

Bert

A cannon? The thing that goes kaboom?

Ernie

No, that’s a cannon. But a canon is a lot more fun.

Grover

Yeah, that’s fun for sailing in, on a lake or a river.

Bert

No, that’s a canoe.

Ernie

And some canoes are edible, if they’re made of biscuit. But now I’ll start the canon. I wrote it myself. I’ll tell you when you can join in.

All

Saint and Pete visit us

Saint and Pete visit us

It’s a fun party

And we’ve been very good

And we’ll get candy and cookies

And no scolding

Sinterklaas, come on in

Let the party begin

We’re ready, so come in and sing along

Black Pete, get off that roof

Take that big sack along

And we won’t go to bed, hola-dee-yay

Doubts (Twijfels)

Grover

I cannot take this anymore!

Bert

Me neither!

Ernie

I can! And we’ll keep on singing until Sinterklaas comes.

Bert

But then we’ll be too tired to sing for Sinterklaas, when he eventually comes in. Eventually.

Grover

SINTERKLAAS, COME ON IN, WITH YOUR LITTLE HELPER!

Bert

Stop that, Grover!

Grover

Excuse me.

Bert

Is being naughty a bad thing?

Ernie

Maybe only if Sinterklaas noticed it.

Bert

Sinterklaas knows everything. We’d better watch out. He’s sitting on his horse on the roof right now, listening…

Ernie

Sinterklaas is just a nice man. And he’s coming to celebrate with us.

Bert

But isn’t being naughty bad?

Ernie

Everyone is naughty at times. Sinterklaas too.

Bert

Watch out, Ernie. Otherwise you won’t get any presents.

Ernie

And riding a horse on a roof. That’s not even possible without falling. It’s just a funny story, just for fun.

Grover

I do not know… I do not know…

Bert

There they are!! Sinterklaas! I’ll open the door!

Grover

Where is the closet?! WHERE IS THE CLOSET?! QUICK!

Bert

Hello, Saint Nicholas. Welcome.

Sinterklaas

Thank you, young man. Ha ha ha.

Bert

Get away from that chair, Ernie. Sinterklaas has to sit there. Take a seat, Sinterklaas.

Ernie

Hello. Are you Black Pete? I am Ernie.

It’s Sinterklaas’ Birthday (Sinterklaas Is Jarig)

Sinterklaas

There, Bert and Ernie. I heard many things about you. You are good friends, right?

Bert

Yes, Sinterklaas, we are. We live here together.

Ernie

It’s your birthday, right?

Sinterklaas

Tomorrow is my birthday, but I celebrate it today. So you live here together. I knew that. Do you share everything with each other, too?

Bert

Yes, we do, Sinterklaas.

Ernie

Not everything.

Bert

EVERYTHING. That chocolate pigeon too, huh, Ernie?

Ernie

Uhm, yes. That chocolate pigeon… We shared that together. But I don’t remember how it tasted.

Bert

It was delicious, Sinterklaas. And big. Big and delicious.

Ernie

Was our house easy to find?

Sinterklaas

Pete keeps track of those things. He knows exactly where I have to be. Right, Pete?

Pete

Not always, Sinterklaas. We once got lost. We wanted to go to Grover’s and ended up at Kermit’s.

Grover

(in the closet) ACHOO!

Sinterklaas

Did I hear someone sneezing?

Bert

I didn’t hear anything. (PRRFFFT) Oh. Excuse me.

Ernie

Did you hear that?

Bert

Quiet.

Ernie

Bert broke wind. Did you hear that, Sinterklaas?

Sinterklaas

No, but I can smell it.

Bert

I’ll be back later…

Ernie

He couldn’t help it, Sinterklaas.

Sinterklaas

It’s okay. It’s just that the smell is a little unpleasant. But that is a matter of taste.

Grover

A-CHOO! (stumbles out of the closet) Oh, I fell down… oooh!! OOOH!

Sinterklaas

Who are you?

Grover

(scared) I am Grover, and I… I…

Sinterklaas

And where did you come from?

Grover

Out of the closet. I just wanted to check, but I’d rather go back…

Sinterklaas

I am Sinterklaas.

Grover

Oh, you can clearly see that. But I’d rather get back into the closet, because I have not found… I am looking for something.

Sinterklaas

Why don’t you take a seat, Grover.

Grover

All right, Sinterklaas. Good, Sinterklaas. Where should I sit? Here, or there? WHERE SHOULD I SIT?! Which seat is Bert’s? ERNIE! Which seat is Bert’s?

Ernie

Bert sat here.

Grover

Good, then I will sit here. Can I sit here?

Bert

I’m back. Would you like a drink, Sinterklaas? A glass of soda or a glass of lemonade?

Ernie

Or milk. I don’t like milk much…

Sinterklaas

No, thank you. I already drank too much and I still have to ride my horse.

Grover

Listen, do you want me to sit here, or should I sit over there? WHERE SHOULD I SIT?!!

Ernie

Just stay where you are, Grover. Quiet.

Sinterklaas

Pete? Where are the presents?

Pete

Here, Saint. A whole sack full.

Sinterklaas

Hold it, hold. First you have to sing, yes.

Bert

See, Ernie?

De Pakjespolka (The Presents Polka)

Sinterklaas

Do you know the song called “The Presents Polka,” the one that goes “hop faldera, the Presents Polka”? Pete, would you be so kind to accompany the youngsters on your electric organ?

Pete

Me? I hope I can do that, because…

Bert

How did that start again? Oh, yes…

Pete

Like this?

Bert & Ernie

Hop faldera, the Presents Polka,

The Presents Polka, hop faldera

Hop faldera, the Presents Polka,

Presents everywhere

Ernie

What did I get, what did you get?

Bert

Is there something for me?

Ernie

Look over here, look over there

Bert

Do you have the scissors?

Bert & Ernie

Hop faldera, the Presents Polka,

The Presents Polka, hop faldera

Hop faldera, the Presents Polka,

Presents everywhere

Ernie

Grover! You have to sing too!

Grover

What is this, what is that?

It looks like a bag of french fries

Ernie

I think it’s a “sur-prise”

Bert

The pepper makes me sneeze

Bert & Ernie

Hop faldera, the Presents Polka,

The Presents Polka, hop faldera

Hop faldera, the Presents Polka,

Presents everywhere

Ernie

Look at that, Bert. It’s wrapped real tight.

Bert

I have a humming top!

Ernie

That’s not a humming top, that’s a flying saucer! Look at this pretty present… oh no, that’s yours.

Bert

Read the poem first!

Bert & Ernie

Hop faldera, the Presents Polka,

The Presents Polka, hop faldera

Hop faldera, the Presents Polka,

Presents everywhere

Ernie

Presents full of pretty things

But sing a silly song first

Presents filled with foolish things

Sinterklaas is very generous

Bert & Ernie

Hop faldera, the Presents Polka,

The Presents Polka, hop faldera

Hop faldera, the Presents Polka,

Presents everywhere

Sinterklaas

Peppernuts, marzipan

And those who haven’t been sweet this year…

Will be sweet now! Hahahaha!

But don’t forget to brush your teeth afterwards.

Bert

Yes, Sinterklaas, you can count on that.

Bert & Ernie

Hop faldera, the Presents Polka,

The Presents Polka, hop faldera

Hop faldera, the Presents Polka,

Presents everywhere

Presents everywhere

Presents everywhere

by Jogchem Jalink

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