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Tough Pigs Journal April 8, 2002
The Ugly Toy Contest Statistics and Color Commentary
Want to know where your favorite toy stacked up in the contest? Here's the ugly truth.
The Ugly Toy Contest: Nominations
1. Springtime Kermit ( 0% )
"I actually have this Kermit, but I never thought of it as ugly, just... fruity." -- Ryan Roe
(This is one of the three toys in the contest that didn't get a single vote.)
2. Walt Disney World beanbag ( 77% )
"I hope this wins the contest." -- Chris Caines
3. Dakin UK doll ( 19% )
"This is what happens when you spend all your time in the swamp and NEVER, EVER SHOWER." -- Kynan Barker
4. Fun 4 All plush magnet ( 4% )
"This one has everything wrong with it. Bad eye focus, distorted mouth, funky collar, and I don't even want to know who thought up those 'flippers.'" -- Diane Bradley
1. Bendy Piggy ( 52% )
"I almost mistook that Piggy Bendy for Phyllis Diller!" -- Chris Smigliano
(This was one of two Phyllis Diller references sent in for the contest. Other Barometers of Ugly included Zsa Zsa Gabor and Norman Fell.)
2. Huge Igel doll ( 7% )
Nobody even had anything to say about the huge Igel Miss Piggy. Except for me.
3. Nanco amusement park prizes ( 41% )
"Her face looks like a half-chewed caramel." -- Mark Pethick
"Pregnant synchronized swimmers from the 30's" -- Carolyn Wiesner
"#2 is a close second, but #3 won out because of the size variations available." -- Chris Caines
"She could get arrested if she doesn't cover a few more inches of thigh." -- Kynan Barker
4. Fun 4 All plush magnet ( 0% )
This was the second toy that didn't get any votes at all. She is the beauty queen of the ugly toys.
1. Comics Spain Piggy PVC ( 0% )
This was the third toy that didn't get any votes in the contest.
"She's ugly, but not as profoundly, medically diagnosably ugly as #3." -- Kynan Barker
2. Ceramic figures ( 4% )
"What the hell is with those Piggy figures?" -- Maureen Sheehan
3. Flocked figure ( 52% )
"She's a freak show." -- Kynan Barker
4. Piggy and Fozzie PVC's ( 44% )
"What did she do to deserve this?" -- Captain Cully
"She's not even blonde." -- Erik Browne
"This is the one that, if it wasn't in this contest, I wouldn't have guessed that it was supposed to be Piggy. I really, really hope this isn't an official licensed product." -- Ryan Roe
"Ugly Piggy Figure #4 is my choice for the Look What Happens When You Put Your Muppet PVC's in the Microwave category." -- Mike Horner
1. Eden Toys doll ( 8% )
"They almost got it right... but they just got ridiculous with the nose." -- DW McKim
2. Walt Disney World beanbag ( 8% )
"I can't decide between #2 and #4. #4 doesn't even come close to looking like Gonzo, but that's almost better than #2, which looks like Gozo was hideously deformed in a freak accident. So, let's say #2." -- Captain Cully
"He kind of looks like a distant cousin, a cheery upper-class English Twit Gonzo." -- Kynan Barker
3. Walt Disney World doll ( 19% )
"For all his flaws, he somehow captures a certain essential Gonzo-ness." -- Kynan Barker
4. Bubble bath toy ( 65% )
"He's naked!" -- Ryan Roe
1. Tomy doll ( 23% )
"I've always been frightened by this one." -- Mark Pethick
"He bears a remarkable resemblance to Norman Fell, TV's Mr. Roper." -- Mike Horner
2. Bendy Gobo ( 15%)
"The first one is ugly, and I so don't get the bow-tie, but the whites of the Bendy's eyes are connected." -- Captain Cully
"While never wanting to negate the horrible sneering ugliness of Gobo #1, Ugly Gobo #2 has a rictus of terror which takes the ugly cake and just rubs it all over his deadened, ugly face." -- Kynan Barker
3. Pedigree Gobo ( 27% )
"I've had nightmares like that." -- Carolyn Wiesner
4. Hasbro Gobo ( 35% )
"Ugly Gobo #4 isn't ugly. He just doesn't look like a Fraggle is all." -- Kynan Barker
1. Count doll ( 4% )
"He needs to stay inside and stop leering at the children." -- Carolyn Wiesner
2. Bert puppet ( 8% )
"How many chins can a puppet have?" -- Mark Pethick
3. Herry Monster PVC ( 60% )
"Oh... wow." -- Carolyn Wiesner
4. Grover doll ( 28% )
"Hideous." -- Ryan Roe
"It looks more like a Muppet Show monster than a Sesame Street one." -- Erik Browne
"I would not have thought it possible to sap the life out of Grover like that, but the Ganz Brothers have done it with style." -- Kynan Barker
1. Kermit doll ( 8% )
"Kermit's not that bad." -- Bill Kastak
2. Fozzie doll ( 73% )
"It's wrong in so many ways." -- Mike Horner
3. Rowlf doll ( 11% )
"Rowlf does look like he's about to lose his face, though, which is potentially scary." -- Carolyn Wiesner
4. Animal doll ( 8% )
"Baby Animal's face on Grown Up Animal's body." -- DW McKim
for Ugliest Muppet Toy We Could Find
Winner: Kermit Toy #2, WDW beanbag ( 27% )
First Runner-Up: Piggy Doll #1, Bendy Piggy ( 23% )
Second Runner-Up: Piggy Figure #3, Flocked Piggy ( 19% )
Honorable Mentions: Sesame Toy #4, Grover doll ( 11% ) Direct Connect Doll #2, Fozzie doll ( 8% ) Piggy Figure #4, Piggy and Fozzie PVC's ( 4% ) Sesame Toy #1, Count doll ( 4% ) Sesame Toy #3, Herry PVC ( 4% )
for Ugliest Muppet Toy We Could Find
The Ugly Toy Contest: Nominations The Ugly Toy Contest: Opening Ceremonies
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