Kermit and Piggy: That Magnificent Hankering, Part Seven

Published: February 7, 2002

Part Seven : Room Service!
Kermit and Miss Piggy
onGood Morning America, February 1988
with Joan Lunden

Joan	Tomorrow is the special day for sweethearts everywhere… So what better way to celebrate than with The Couple of The Eighties? Yes, joining me now — the Sean Penn and Madonna of the Muppet world…
Kermit	The what?
Joan	Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy. It’s nice to have you both with us!
Piggy	Hello, Joan dear.
Kermit	Oh, thank you, Joan. It’s very nice to be here.
Joan	Oh! And look at you… What a dress she has here! [ Piggy is wearing a very Couple of the Eighties pink and lime outfit. ]
Kermit	Yes, it’s very special.
Piggy	Could I have a close-up of the hat, please?
Joan	The hat’s wonderful. I love…
Piggy	There’s little kissys on the hat here.
Joan	Little kissys on the hat.
Kermit	Is that real candy?
Piggy	Yeah, don’t touch it. I’m gonna eat it later.
Joan	It’s a very beautiful outfit.
Piggy	Thank you very much, Joanie. You look, uh, attractive too.
Kermit	Sure. It’s a nice outfit, Joan.
Joan	Well, thank you, Kermit.
Kermit	Yes, you look very pretty today.
Piggy	Yes…
Joan	Thank you! Do you two have special plans for Valentine’s Day?
Piggy	Yes, they’re personal.
Kermit	Um… what?
Joan	They’re personal?
Piggy	Personal.
Kermit	Oh, yeah. They’re personal.
Joan	Personal.
Kermit	Mmmm.
Joan	Hmm.
Piggy	Yes. We plan to have a nice little… evening.
Joan	A romantic evening?
Piggy	Mmm hmm.
Joan	What’s your idea of a romantic evening?
Piggy	Well, first of all — two of us, as opposed to three.
Joan	Okay.
Piggy	That’s for starters. And, well, Kermit, as a frog, likes to be in surroundings that he’s used to.
Kermit	Yes.
Joan	Like water?
Piggy	I’m not talking about a swamp… I mean, he’s used to dark surroundings, which I believe are romantic.
Joan	Dark surroundings…
Piggy	Frogs are used to that.
Joan	Is he romantic?
Kermit	Uh… Do we have to talk about stuff like this?
Piggy	Trust me, it’s love!
Kermit	It’s a professional relationship. You know.
Piggy	I knew it.
Joan	All right, all right. This brings up a subject… There seems to be some question about your status right now.
Piggy	There is no status.
Kermit	That’s true. It’s a status of nothing.
Joan	I thought you got married.
Piggy	No, the status… There’s no status. There’s just love.
Joan	Just love.
Kermit	Uh, yes. Uh. Actually, why don’t we change the subject? Why don’t we talk about something else?
Joan	I’d like to know what it was about Miss Piggy that you originally fell for. What are her qualities?
Piggy	Yeah!
Kermit	Well. She’s a very powerful lady. Y’know. I mean, she’s, uh, she’s… someone you don’t tangle with, so to speak. You see. And this is one of her most attractive parts, I think.
Joan	She has a unique personality. Unique qualities.
Piggy	But Kermie? Kermie?
Kermit	Yes, Miss Piggy.
Piggy	What about, you know, the other things?
Kermit	Oh. Well. Uh.
Piggy	About the kissy-kissies? And the huggy-wuggies?
Kermit	Yes. She’s. Yes, anything you say. It’s fine.
Piggy	He talks like that in public, because he’s shy.
Kermit	Mmmm.
Piggy	In person… watch out!
Joan	Yeah?
Kermit	That’s right. That’s what I was going to say. You just watch out. That’s why… Mmmm.
Piggy	We’re talking GANGBUSTERS!
Joan	What is it about…
Piggy	We’re talking, y’know, like, three days! We’re talking, like, you know? Like, ROOM SERVICE! Look out!
Joan	Tell us something about Miss Piggy that she would just die if we all knew.
Kermit	Well. Uh.
Piggy	Or somebody else’ll die if you all know.
Kermit	Well, she’s an interesting sight in lingerie. I must say that. I mean. Uh, yes.
Piggy	Awww, Kermie. Isn’t that sweet.
Joan	Does she wear real feminine, frilly stuff?
Kermit	It’s, uh, she has all kinds of things with buckles and snaps, and stuff… It’s really just…
Piggy	Are you insinuating that I wear a girdle?
Kermit	No, I don’t know what that stuff is.
Joan	And I’m not about to take a guess! Tell us something — what did you fall in love with? What are the qualities that you fell in love with, with Kermit?
Piggy	Well, to begin with… Flippers.
Joan	Flippers?
Piggy	Flippers. Number one. Then, after Flippers, I’d say Green. And then there’s that certain… well, in Spanish, you say, je ne sais quoi.
Joan	Or joie de vivre.
Kermit	That’s Spanish?
Piggy	Joie de viv-ra…
Joan	That’s a good one.
Piggy	… about a frog. It’s something that only pigs could understand.
Joan	Okay. I’ll buy that.
Piggy	You have to.
Joan	I don’t have any other choice. You two have a wonderfully romantic day tomorrow.
Piggy	Don’t touch him!
Kermit	Oh, thank you.
Joan	[ laughs ] Excuse me, Miss Piggy.
Piggy	That’s all right.
Kermit	It’s okay.
Piggy	Thank you. Happy Valentine’s Day.
Joan	To you, too.
Kermit	And Happy Valentine’s Day out there!
Piggy	To all of vous. Kissy kissy!
Joan	We’ll be back.
Piggy	We’ll be back. Not us. Her.
Kermit	I won’t…