Giant Frogs!, Part Five

Published: May 5, 2002
Categories: Uncategorized

live5Part Five: Hey A Movie

[ The show takes place on a loading dock, behind the Muppet Theater where MuppetVision 3D is being shown. The loading dock looks like the back of a factory, labeled “A.A. CHUE FLOWER SUPPLY.” The audience stands around in kind of a big parking lot. There are a bunch of props around the lot, including Miss Piggy’s pink trailer, a cannon, and a bunch of movie lights. An Announcer is heard, corraling everyone over to the show, and asking for quiet on the set. But behind one of the big metal doors, we hear drums pounding… ]
Animal


OPEN THE DOOR! OPEN! MOVIE! MOVIE! MOVIE, MOVIE, MOVIE! [ The door opens, and Animal emerges, pounding on a huge drum kit. ] ANIMAL, ANIMAL, MOVIE! MOVIE! HELLO! HELLO! ANIMAL, ANIMAL, ANIMAL, DRUMS!
[ Janice and Floyd enter from another door. Floyd is playing a bass lick to accompany Animal. ]
Janice


Oh, wow! Hey, look at the people! Hey, kids! How ya doin? Far out! Awesome! Hey, stick around! We’re making a movie on location!
Animal


LOCATION!
Floyd


Finally got our act together —
Animal


TOGETHER!
Floyd


Now we’re takin’ it on the road!
Janice


Fer sure! Now, let me introduce the Electric Mayhem band! I’m Janice, on lead guitar! [ She plays a guitar lick. ] Aren’t I good? On drums, it’s Animal!
Animal


ANIMAL! ANIMAL!
Janice


On bass guitar, Floyd Pepper!
[ Floyd plays a bass groove, and laughs. Zoot enters from another door, blowing on his sax. ]
Janice


And here’s that ace of the axe, Zoot!
Zoot


Huh? Oh. Dig it!
[ Dr. Teeth enters, with a keyboard. ]
Janice


And the king of the keyboards, our fearless leader, Dr. Teeth!
Dr. Teeth


Yeah! Whattya say? Let’s get down!
Janice


Are you ready to make a movie? I can’t hear you! I said, are you ready to make a movie?
Crowd


Yeah!
Janice


So, let’s do it! [ The Mayhem finish their song, and play the opening to “Hey A Movie”: ]
Floyd


Crazy!
Janice


Oh, this is like so much fun!There’ll be spectacle
Floyd


There’ll be fantasy
Janice


There’ll be derring-do
Floyd


And stuff like you would never see
Animal


HEY A MOVIE!
F & J


Yeah, we’re gonna make a moviestarring everybody…
Fozzie



And me!

[ Fozzie Bear pops up on top of a trailer, holding a director’s clacker. ]

Wocka wocka!

Hey, I’m Fozzie Bear

And our show can’t miss

But the cameras won’t start rolling

Till I go like this!

[ He snaps the clacker shut on his nose. ]

Owwww!

Animal


HEY A MOVIE!
Janice


We can watch it all develop
Fozzie


Starring everybody, and me![ Fozzie spins down a slide to the stage. ]

Wocka wocka!

F & J


Strike up the band,Everyone give a cheer!

C’mon, join in —

Fozzie


We’re gonna start right here![ He snaps the clacker on his nose again. ]
Janice


There’ll be stunts galore —
Floyd


Big explosions too —
Fozzie


He may make a mess,but he’s the best at derring-do!

The Great Gonzo…

[ A door bursts open with a bang, and Gonzo shoots out in a puff of smoke. ]
Gonzo


Ha ha ha hah!Wow, it’s gonna be a big one!
All


Starring everybody —
Gonzo


And me!So let’s hit the lights —
Fozzie


Time to shoot the scene!
All But we can’t go on,As long as our director’s green!
[ A huge green crane emerges, with Kermit seated on a director’s chair. The crane bounces up and down, shaking Kermit a bit. ]
Kermit


Who-oa! Hi, everybody! Welcome!Hey a movie!

We’re so glad you all could make it —

Starring everybody…

Animal


EVERYbody?
Kermit


Where’s Piggy? Has anyone seen Miss Piggy? Hmmm.Starring everybody…
Fozzie


Everybody?
Kermit


Um, has anybody out there seen Miss Piggy? Huh. I dunno.
Animal


PIG-GY! PIG-GY!
All


Starring everybod-eeeeeee….
[ They hold the last note for a very long time while they look around for Piggy. Finally, everyone gives up… and then Miss Piggy pops out of a side door and poses for the crowd. She’s followed by her Chauffeur. ]
Piggy


Starring everybody — and moi!
Kermit


Ladies and gentlemen, a big welcome for Miss Piggy!
[ Piggy gratefully acknowledges the cheers of her adoring crowd, who are urged on by the Chauffeur holding up an “APPLAUSE” sign. Then Bean Bunny pops out of the door right behind her, and bumps into her. ]
Bean


And Bean Bunny too!
Kermit


Sorry, Bean!
Piggy


[ to Chauffeur: ] I told you to take a left turn at the Chinese Theater! Oh… just go away and wax the tail fins! [ to audience: ] Ah ha ha! It is moi’s fans! Hello, everyone! Kissy kissy! Yes! What a thrill for vous! Moi is so pleased to see vous! Thank you! Thank you!
Bean


Hi, everybody! Bean Bunny! Pleased to meetcha! Bean Bunny, props and makeup — glad to see ya!
Piggy


Get out of the way!
Bean


Hey! Cute outfit! Hi! My name’s Bean Bunny. What’s yours? Hee hee! Oh boy, I’m glad to be here. Heh heh.
Kermit


Nice of you to join us, Miss Piggy!
Piggy


Oh, Kermie darling, it is moi’s pleasure!
Kermit Could we get started, Miss Piggy? Our movie is already running late!
Piggy


Of course. I just need a teensy touch of makeup.
Bean


Did you say makeup?
Piggy


Uh huh!
[ Bean smacks Piggy in the face with a big makeup puff. Piggy coughs and chokes. ]
Piggy


Thanks…
Bean


Any time!
Kermit


Places, everyone! Quiet, please…

by Danny Horn

Tagged:Anthology

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