Hipsters and Squares
Part 6: Cold as Mice
Here’s a Sesame Street News story that didn’t end up in the News Flash Anthology last year. In this report, Kermit the Frog broadcasts live from the very hip town of Hamelin…
Cast: Jim Henson (Kermit the Frog), Frank Oz (Pied Piper), Richard Hunt and Jerry Nelson (Mice).
| Anncr
|
And now for another fast-breaking news story, we take you to Kermit the Frog! |
| Kermit
|
… I don’t particularly either, but as soon as we finish here, then we can, uh — Oh! Ahem. Hi there, Kermit the Frog of Sesame Street News, and today I’m speaking to you from the lovely town of Hamelin, which, as you may remember, is unfortunately overrun with mice. And you can see the mice up there, overrunning that house right there right now. And I understand that the town council has hired the Pied Piper, to, uh, get rid of the mice of the town. |
| Kermit
|
And I think this might be him right now. Excuse me, uh, pardon me, sir, pardon me… |
| Piper
|
Hey, you’re a frog! Far out! |
| Kermit
|
Yeah, uh, Kermit the Frog of Sesame Street News, actually, Mr Piper. And I was wondering if I could just ask you a couple questions. |
| Piper
|
Yeah, call me Pied, baby. Pied. |
| Kermit
|
Pied? Okay. You mind if I ask you a question, then — |
| Piper
|
Right on. |
| Kermit
|
Tell me, how do you intend to get the mice out of the town? |
| Piper
|
Yeah, well, babe, we’ll lay down some music with the old flute here, the mice are gonna dig it, see, and they’re gone follow me outta this hick town. |
| Kermit
|
You’re going to play the flute, and the mice will follow you out of town. |
| Piper
|
Right on, right on. |
| Kermit
|
Well, I would love to see that, and so would our viewers! So, would you like to play it right now? |
| Piper
|
Right on, baby. Here we go now. Here we go. |
(Pied plays a pretty tune on his flute.) |
| Kermit
|
That was, uh, beautiful. |
| Piper
|
Yeah, thanks… |
| Kermit
|
I don’t see any mice coming… There’s nobody… Nobody’s following. |
| Piper
|
Yeah, well, listen, frog, I tell you, let me warm up my chops here, babe, let me try one more time. Okay? Here we go. |
| Kermit
|
Um, okay. One more try. |
| (Pied puts down another flute lick.) | |
| Mice
|
Nah, nah… Yuck! |
| Piper
|
Hey, man, hey now. I’m layin’ this stuff down, and the mice just ain’t pickin’ it up, dig? |
| Kermit
|
It doesn’t seem to be working particularly well. |
| Piper
|
Yeah, well, okay. One more time, okay? |
| Kermit
|
Okay. |
| Piper
|
Here we go. |
| (Pied blows another lick.) | |
| Mice
|
Oh, no, no, no. Yucka-a yuck! Yuck! |
| Kermit
|
It didn’t, uh, didn’t seem to work there. |
| Piper
|
No, no, baby. It ain’t workin’. No. I got other gigs, I don’t need this, baby. I’m cuttin’ out. No. Sorry, baby. Bye bye, babe. |
| (The Piper ankles.) | |
| Kermit
|
Huh. I guess that’s it for the town of Hamelin, uh… Okay, fellas. I guess we can pack up now. Let’s move out! |
(Kermit whistles.) |
| (The mice start rustling, excited. The Piper rushes back.) | |
| Piper
|
Hey, hey, what’s that sound, babe? |
| Kermit
|
You mean, my whistle, like this? |
| (Kermit whistles again.) | |
| Mice
|
Oh, yeah! Yeah! |
| Piper
|
Hey, babe, that’s it! Hey! Whistle some more, babe! Hey, come on, whistle more! Go ahead! Whistle, whistle! |
| Kermit
|
Uh, okay. |
| (Kermit whistles again. The Piper pushes him down the path.) | |
| Piper
|
Hey, you got the mice runnin’! Go ahead! Start walkin’, baby, start walkin’! Okay, go up that path now, baby! Oh, yeah! |
(Kermit whistles, and the mice follow him up the path.) |
| Kermit
|
This is Kermit the Frog, returning you to Sesame Street News! |
| Piper
|
Hey, they’re leavin’! Start blowin’, baby! Blow, blow! Whistle, baby, whistle! Okay! Up that path, baby! Keep goin’! Head ’em out, head ’em out! Come on, mice! Keep goin’! Hey, yeah, right on! You got ’em goin’! Keep goin’, frog, you got it… |
by Danny Horn
