The Jim Henson Hour
Science Fiction, Part 8:
Meet the Teppums
Cast: Jim Henson (Kermit, Timrek the Gorf, Link Hogthrob), Dave Goelz (Digit, Gonzo, Oznog), Gordon Robertson (Lindbergh), Steve Whitmire (Bean Bunny, Waldo, Yellow Extreme), Jerry Nelson (Orange Extreme), Kevin Clash (Leon, Noel, Green Extreme), Fran Brill (Vicki), Sharon Lee Williams (Purple Extreme), Jennifer Lee (Bootsie), Andrew Wilson (Brad), Dan Redican and Rob Mills (etc).
| Lindy
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Kermit, we’ve tried everything.
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| Kermit
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Poor Digit.
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| Lindy
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Never mind Digit, what about my toolbelt?
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| Vicki
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Mr Kermit —
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| Kermit
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Mm?
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| Vicki
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It’s time for the closing number! Oh — who turned Digit off?
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| [ Vicki pushes a button on Digit’s chest. With a whirr, Digit comes back to life. ]
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| Vicki
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Morning, Digit!
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| Digit
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Morning, Vicki.
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| Kermit
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Digit!
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| Digit
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Kermit… why was I dreaming about a Phillips screwdriver?
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| Kermit
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Never mind that, we’re almost out of time!
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| Digit
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Kermit, there’s a veriety show from outer space you just have to see!
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| Gonzo
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A variety show from outer space?
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| Kermit
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We don’t have TIME for that, Gonzo! We have to do something about a closing number!
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| Timrek
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[ on the monitor: ] We don’t have TIME for that, Oznog! We have to do something about a closing number!
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| Kermit
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Wha — what did he say?
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| Timrek
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Why — what did you say?
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| Kermit
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Wait a second — who are YOU?
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| Timrek
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I’m Timrek the Gorf — and we’re the Teppums! Hey, you don’t have any idea for a closing number, do you?
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| Kermit
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Gee, I guess things are about the same the whole galaxy over. When you don’t have a closing number, there’s only one thing to do!
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| Timrek
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… Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
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|
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[ Everyone immediately changes into their costumes, and they all start singing “Chattanooga Choo-Choo”. ]
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| Muppets
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Pardon me, boy — is that the Chattanooga Choo-Choo?
Track twenty-nine… Boy, you could give me a shine
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| Teppums
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I can afford to board the Chattanooga Choo-Choo
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| Leon
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I’ve got my fare, and just a trifle to spare
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| Noel
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Leave the Pennsylvania Station at a quarter to four
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| B&B
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Read a magazine and then you’re in Baltimore
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| Alien B&B
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Diner in the diner, nothing could be finer
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| Link & chickens
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Than to have your ham and eggs in Carolina
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| Bean
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There’s gonna be a certain party at the station
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| Bunnies
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Satin and lace — hop! hop! — I used to call funny face
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| Extremes
|
She’s gonna CRY until I tell her that I’ll never roam
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| Muppets & Teppums
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So Chattanooga Choo-Choo, won’t you choo-choo me home!
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| Louie
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Kermit! How do I get out of this costume?
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| Kermit
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That’s not a costume!
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| Louie
|
What?
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| Kermit
|
We’ve merchandised you to sixteen toy companies!
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| Louie
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Get my agent on the phone!
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| Digit
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When you hear the whistle blowin’ eight to the bar
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| Tigid
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Then you know that Tennessee is not very far
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| Kermit
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Shovel all the coal in
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| Timrek
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Gotta keep it rollin’
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| Ms & Ts
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Whoo-whoo, Chattanooga, there you are
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| Gonzo
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There’s gonna be a certain party at the station
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| Chickens
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Satin and lace — Bawk! Bawk!
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| Oznog
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I used to call funny face
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| Extremes
|
She’s gonna CRY until I tell her that I’ll never roam
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| Muppets
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So Chattanooga Choo-Choo, won’t you choo-choo me
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| Teppums
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Chattanooga Choo-Choo, won’t you choo-choo me
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| All
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Chattanooga Choo-Choo, won’t you choo-choo me HOME!
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| [ Everybody nods and bows for the fade-out… ]
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