More Breaking News, Part Nine

Published: May 9, 2003
Categories: Uncategorized

Breaking News

Part 18: The Cinderella Trilogy

Episode III. A Shoe Hope

Cast: Jim Henson (Kermit),Frank Oz (Prince Charming), Jerry Nelson (Cinderella, Announcer), Richard Hunt (Cow), unknown? (Wicked Stepsisters, Lackey).mmnews57

Announcer


We take you now to Kermit the Frog with another fast breaking news story!
Kermit


[ Kermit talks to Cinderella and the Stepsisters. ] Now, listen, when we get the cue, don’t wave at the camera, and try not to act stupid, okay?
Stepsisters


Yeah. Okay.
[ Kermit realizes the camera is on him. The girls instantly start waving at the camera and acting stupid. ]
Kermit


Oh. Hi ho, this is Kermit the Frog of Sesame Street News, with another up to the minute update of the exciting Cinderella glass slipper story! Now, as you recall, Prince Charming gave a big party the other night, in which he fell in love with someone who left at midnight, leaving behind a beautiful glass slipper! And ever since then, the Prince has been combing the countryside, looking for the girl whose foot fits that slipper.mmnews58
Kermit


And — excuse me, right now, here comes Prince Charming right now, excuse me, Prince Charming, Kermit the Frog of Sesame Street News, can I ask you a few questions, sir!
Prince


Why, yahs, you can, Dad always tells me to be nice to the media.
Kermit


Mm hm. Mm hm. Uh, pardon me, who’s that behind you, sir?
Prince


Oh, that’s my, uh — ahem — lackey. [ to the Lackey: ] Sit! [ The Lackey sits. The Prince turns back to Kermit: ] Shoot.
[ The Prince strikes a dramatic pose, looking off into the distance. ]
Kermit


Uh huh. Yeah. Well, I understand you’ve been combing the countryside, and so far, you have…
[ Distracted, Kermit tries to see what the Prince is looking at. ]
Kermit


… uh, so far, you have not found the girl whose foot fits that slipper, is that right, sir.mmnews59
Prince


That is true, frog. I have not yet found my… True Love.
Stepsisters


Over here! Heh heh.
[ Again, Kermit is distracted by the Prince’s pose. ]
Kermit


Yeah. Well, okay, well, right now you’re down to the very last cottage in the kingdom…
Prince


Yahs…
Kermit


And that is the one that belongs to Cinderella and her two wicked stepsisters!
Prince


Yahs, where is that cottage, can you tell me?
Kermit


Uh, it’s right behind you, sir.
Prince


Hm?mmnews60
Stepsisters


Yoo hoo! Hello!
Prince


Aha. Ladies, ladies! Please step over there by the bench with your feet out. Yahs, thank you, skedaddle along, skedaddle… [ to the Lackey: ] Heel.
[ The Stepsisters and Cinderella line up. ]
Prince


All right, ladies, all right, now who shall be first? Lackey, take the first wicked stepsister please.
Stepsis #1


Oh! Here I am!mmnews61
Prince


Try it on her foot. Ohhh… I’m sorry, wicked stepsister number one, but that slipper is much too big for you.
Stepsis #1


Awwwww.
Cinderella


Heh heh. Heh heh.
Stepsis #1


Try the other wicked stepsister. Her foot’s bigger than mine!
Prince


Right, right. Raise your foot. Now, let’s see here. Ohhh… wicked stepsister number two, your foot is bigger than hers, but it is still not big enough for the glass slipper.mmnews62
Prince


All right, Cinderella, your turn?
Cinderella


Me?
Prince


Yahs, you, dear.
Cinderella


Ohhh, let it be me, let it be me…
Prince


Mmmmm… Ohhh, no, your foot isn’t big enough either.
Cinderella


Oh.
Prince


Well, that’s funny. Hm. Now, your foot was big, your foot was bigger, and your foot was the biggest of all… However, no one… fit the slipper…
[ The Prince starts to cry. ]
Cinderella


Awwww… wait, you want the biggest foot of all?
Prince


I want my True Love!
Cinderella


Well, somebody else in our cottage has the biggest feet of all!
Prince


Oh?
[ Cinderella whistles. ]mmnews63
Kermit


Holy cow.
Prince


… Could this be my True Love?
[ A cow enters. ]
Cow


Yes?
Prince


Oh! Put your foot up, please. Lackey — quickly! Ah! It FITS!
Cow


It does?
Prince


My True Love!
[ Everyone gasps as the Prince embraces the Cow. ]
Kermit


… These fairy tales are beginning to get me down. Uh, this is Kermit the Frog, returning you to your regularly scheduled shoe. Uh, show.
Prince


Hmm. Funny. You looked different that night at the palace.mmnews64

by Danny Horn

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