Alright, you all know the drill by now. I type a word like ‘What or ‘Has‘ in front of the word Kermit into Google and then I answer the weird and wonderful questions the internet seems to ask about our favorite frog. This time I’ve written ‘Can’, so we all have a chance to learn about Kermit the Frog’s capabilities. I don’t understand half of the words in this batch, so this will be an experience for all of us. Come along!
1 – Can Kermit beat Goku?
Okay, so I kind of remember the word Goku from Dragon Ball Z, a show I had entirely forgotten existed. For some reason, fans of the show have created a whole meme around Kermit and Goku fighting, with most (rightfully) assuming that Goku, who can go Super Saiyan, would obliterate Kermit. Some people have made drawings, others have made mock-ups in wrestling games using custom skins. Sure. Why not.
2 – Can Kermit swim?
Kermit’s an amphibian, of course he can swim! Frogs are natural swimmers, and our felt friend is no different. Kermit’s been in water many times; in The Frog Prince, during the ‘Never Before, Never Again’ montage in The Muppet Movie, young Kermit in Kermit’s Swamp Years, where he even spits water out. Kermit and Robin sing ‘Octopus’ Garden’ in The Muppet Show while swimming below the surface and checking out a mermaid Miss Piggy. So yeah, Kermit can swim, or, at least, he’s drowning in style.
3 – Can Kermit beat Sukuna?
I don’t know who that is, but from a quick Google – in a physical fight, no. In a game of UNO or something? Probably.
4 – Can Kermit be Pope?
Oh man, if only. He’d look great in the hat. But, I don’t think so, no. To be sure, let’s check out some of the parameters. To be Pope you must be a baptized male. Kermit is male, but I’m not sure he’s been baptized. You must also be willing to be an ordained Bishop. I haven’t asked Kermit about his willingness for this, so I’m unsure if he meets this qualification. You must also be at least 35 years old, which Kermit is (Happy 70th, bud!). So, we’re sure he’s one out of the three, but I am concerned that won’t be enough. Strangely, I’ve realized I have two of the three (though not religious, I was baptized, and I’m 36) however I don’t really want to be an ordained Bishop, unless it comes with a bonus signing check of at least $50,000,000.
5 & 6 – Kermit Can’t Breathe Meme/Kermit Can’t Breathe
Meme with Kermit dolls are always funny (that looks sarcastic, it’s not). For this one, someone has taken a photo of a Kermit doll with an oxygen mask on, and most of the photos I can find are as above – ‘Me after laughing at my own joke’. As someone who constantly laughs at his own jokes, and brings them up many times after (apologies to my girlfriend for still laughing at my, frankly underappreciated, ‘school hollandaise’ joke) I appreciate this meme a lot and will send it to most people I know.
7 – I Can Do Kermit the Frog
Oh, can you? Can you now? Can you also make him a full character filled with life and emotions? Can you hold your arm in the air for more than 20 seconds? Can you make him look directly into a camera? Can you sit uncomfortably on a set for hours on end just so he looks perfect? Can you? No. So maybe give Matt Vogel a goddamn break!
8 – Can You Meet Kermit the Frog?
Technically, yes! Kermit is a real physical puppet, meaning you can be in a room with him and look directly in his strange shaped eyes! Unfortunately though, Kermit is not just wandering around the world doing his shopping, no matter what you saw in that Wonder Emporium movie. So you can’t meet Kermit by chance. The only way to meet him is by being on some sort of set where they might be filming something, or by interviewing him on Zoom, or some event where The Muppets are live. Even then, you’d have to have an in so that you can get close enough to Matt Vogel to ask him if he can put Kermit on so you can shake his little flipper. But it’s not impossible! Believe me, I’ve done it!
9 – Is Kermit Copyrighted?
Yes! Kermit the Frog is copyrighted. Kermit was created in 1955, and according to US copyright laws, Kermit will be in copyright for either 70, 95 or 120 years after Jim Henson’s death, depending on how much Disney keep getting those laws changed. There is some discourse over whether the original Kermit lizard type character is public domain, but that’s all stuff I don’t understand because I studied animation. I dunno, man, don’t ask me about legal stuff. I prefer the easy questions, like Kermit being Pope.
By Jarrod Fairclough – [email protected]
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