First, I want to apologize to the editors of this website. This article will likely give them headaches.
Tell me if you’ve heard this one before:
The Muppets Rolf and Burt walk into a bar. They say, “Ouch!” Wakka Wakka!
How many of you just took psychic damage from reading that? And I don’t mean because that joke isn’t even worthy of Fozzy Bear.
For those of you who haven’t spotted it yet, I’ve just misspelled four Muppet-related words. (Rowlf, Bert, Wocka Wocka, and Fozzie.) These and other misspellings are fairly common when writing about the Muppets, present in both fan appreciation and in professional media. Not that difficult to spell words are isolated to the Muppet fandom. Just think of all the ways people could have creatively spelled Obi-Wan Kenobi since 1977.
Now, I’m no language prescriptivist. I’m not here to tell you there’s only one true way to spell words. And I certainly won’t throw anyone found to be in violation of the spelling protocols into the Bog of Eternal Stench! Nope, in fact, any time we, as a society, want to go back to non-standardised speling, lyke was comun in the erly dayes of the printing pres, I’m al fore it. (Sorry again!) In fact, what would the Muppets love more than a bit of orthographic anarchy?
However, when it comes to conveying information and being understood, some amount of standardization is welcome. After all, if a Muppet fan writes “Lou,” they could be talking about Lubbock Lou, Louis Kazagger, Lew Zealand, Lord Lew Grade, or perhaps even Louie or Betty Lou from Sesame Street. That’s a lotta Lous! To facilitate this standardization and also to help you the next time you’re taking part in a Muppet spelling bee, I am providing the correct spelling of phrases, characters and people often seen misspelled within the fandom. Following that, I’ve included some of the most common misspellings, along with what those misspellings might actually indicate.
This article is not meant as judgment, but as a handy reference for someone searching their favorite Muppet stuff. Imagine being thwarted from finding awesome Muppet content because Google has no idea how to autocorrect that jumble of letters to Snuffleupagus. I’m hopeful that if this theoretical Muppet fan finds this page, they can then continue their search better equipped for finding what they seek. So don’t think of this article as a teacher with a red pen grading your fan credentials, instead think of it as a friendly librarian, guiding you to knowledge that will unlock a plethora of possibilities.
Muppet Performers
Correct:
Jim Henson – Yes, even the progenitor of it all has his name frequently misspelled.
James Maury Henson
Incorrect:
Jim Hensen
Jim Hanson
Jam Hanson
Correct:
Dave Goelz
Incorrect:
Dave Goals – This is actually the hashtag for people following the inspirational movement to be more like Dave Goelz.
Correct:
Caroll Spinney
Incorrect:
Carol Spinney – This is what the puppeteer did around Christmas-time.
Carroll Spinney
Carrel Spinney – This is where the puppeteer would sit when he went to the library.
Carrol Spinney
Caroll Spiney – This describes the puppeteer when he was carrying a cactus.
Correct:
Julianne Buescher – I wonder if she ever suffers the same mix-ups as Lesley Ann Warren.
Incorrect:
Julianne Boosher
Julianne Byusher
Julie Anne Boo Cher – Never boo Cher! She’s a legend.
Correct:
Steve Whitmire
Incorrect:
Steve Witmire
Steve Whitmeer
Stephen Whitmire – Only Miss Piggy calls him that.
Muppet Characters
Correct:
Rowlf
Rowlf the Dog
Incorrect:
Rolf – The name of several German voice actors who worked on Sesamstrasse.
Ralph
Rolov
Correct:
Bert
Incorrect:
Burt
Birdt – This would make for a great Big Bird x Bert puppet crossover, and by great, I mean possibly terrifying.
Bart – He only looks like Bert.
Correct:
Fozzie Bear
Incorrect:
Fozzy
Fonzie – This is a character from another TV show entirely, a show that also happens to star the director of the documentary Jim Henson: Idea Man.
Fuzzy Wuzzy – Easily confused as this is also a bear.
Correct:
Miss Piggy
Miss Piggy Lee
Incorrect:
Ms. Piggy
Mrs. Piggy
Miss Piggie
Miss Piggee
Any address that doesn’t show the proper deference.
Correct:
Mahna Mahna – when referring to the character.
Mah Na Mah Na – when referring to the song.
Incorrect:
Manah Manah
Manna Manna – This is twice the amount of divine bread.
Mana Mana – If your wizard can use this much magic in Dungeons & Dragons, you’re going to get through the Tomb of Horror no problem.
Correct:
Uncle Traveling Matt
Incorrect:
Uncle Travelling Matt – Unless you speak English anywhere besides the United States, then it’s spelled with two Ls, except not really because that’s not his name.
Correct:
Mr. Snuffleupagus – This is a hard one, folks.
Plural – Snuffleupaguses or, sometimes, Snuffleupagi
Incorrect:
Snufleupagus
Snuphleupagus
Snufulupugus
Snunununununnnun – Sorry, letters lost all meaning there for a second.
Brown, furry elephant – Really?
Miscellaneous
Correct:
Wocka Wocka
Incorret:
Wakka Wakka – This is the sound Pac-Man makes.
Waka Waka
Wokka Wokka – Something you should shout as you unexpectedly defend yourself with the closest kitchen implement which happens to be a wok.
Wacka Wacka
Correct:
Hi-ho – The standard greeting of Kermit the Frog.
Incorrect:
Heigh Ho – Use this when it’s off to work you go.
Hi Ho – Use this if you just saw a cherry-o.
Correct:
Hubba-wha?
Incorrect:
Hubba-wah – This is what happens when you start inappropriately commenting on a woman’s appearance and she rightly karate chops you in the gut.
If you’re a super involved fan, you may have noticed that I haven’t mentioned The Land of Gortch versus Gorch confusion. This is an example of a spelling that the whole fandom didn’t know was incorrect. We thought we had the right information, but upon finding better and more accurate sources, we updated our thinking. A wonderful practice, by the way. I recommend it to many people on the Internet. There’s also some new thinking on Mildred Huxtetter’s last name, but more evidence is needed.
There you have it. Consider this your very specific Muppet dictionary, useful for any future Muppet spelling questions you or a friend may have. This article should be bookmarked next to your other Muppet reference materials, like Muppet Wiki, for when you get into a bar bet and someone is claiming that they know Ralph the Dog personally, and that’s how he spelled it on his wedding invitation.
Make sure you’re subscribed for all future volumes of the ToughPigs’ reference library, as our next installment will cover frequently mispronounced names. You know, like your Snowths and your Niamhs. We won’t tell you how to say them now. We want you to be self-conscious about it just a little longer.
Click here to compete in the Muppet spelling bee on the ToughPigs Discord!
By K. T. Lyn – [email protected]
