It’s almost time for the Academy Awards! A celebration of the best cinema from the past year that the major studios have sunk millions of dollars into just so celebrities can take home little golden statuettes. What a lovely tradition.
And speaking of traditions, we have one here on ToughPigs that we’ve been keeping up since 2010: Oscar predictions! We have a formula for naming the winners that’s fool proof. (Though, to be fair, we are the titular fools, since we only got 4 right last year… but hey, maybe this year we’ll be the metaphorical stopped clock!)
Our strategy is this: If only the best of the best will win an Oscar, and if only the best of the best have crossed paths with the Muppets, then it goes to show that the nominees with the best Muppet connections will take home the award. Easy as pie!
Enough of this playful banter! Let’s open some envelopes. And the nominees are…
Actor in a Supporting Role
Benicio del Toro – One Battle After Another
Jacob Elordi – Frankenstein
Delroy Lindo – Sinners
Sean Penn – One Battle After Another
Stellen Skarsgård – Sentimental Value
We’re off to a terrible start (funny, I seem to have said the same thing last year…), since none of the five Best Supporting Actor nominees have ever worked with the Muppets. You’d think that Sean Penn might’ve made a cameo on Muppets Tonight, or Jacob Elordi would’ve promoted Wuthering Heights by comparing his height with Big Bird’s on Sesame Street. So by default, this award will go to Benicio del Toro, who apparently was set to voice a character in the Jim Henson Creature Shop film Where the Wild Things Are.
Actress in a Supporting Role
Elle Fanning – Sentimental Value
Inga Ibsdotter Lilleaas – Sentimental Value
Amy Madigan – Weapons
Wunmi Mosaku – Sinners
Teyana Taylor – One Battle After Another
We’re still off to a terrible start (wow, déjà vu!), as we’ve got another category filled with performers who’ve never met a Muppet. I know, it’s heartbreaking. But only one of them, to my knowledge, has a sibling who’s hung out with the Sesame Street crew, and that’s Elle Fanning. Her sister, Dakota, sang “Do-Re-Mi” with the Sesame cast at a Broadway gala in 2004. And she was definitely a fan, as proven by her very first red carpet look where she’s wearing Crocs decorated with Sesame Street buttons.
Actor in a Leading Role
Timothée Chalamet – Marty Supreme
Leonardo DiCaprio – One Battle After Another
Ethan Hawke – Blue Moon
Michael B. Jordan – Sinners
Wagner Moura – The Secret Agent
Okay, we’re back in full swing! While we wait for Leonardo DiCaprio to get that invitation to Fraggle Rock, we’ve got two Best Actor nominees who hung out with the Muppets as child actors. Michael B. Jordan popped up in a 2000 episode of Sesame Street as a porridge enthusiast at Hooper’s Store, and Ethan Hawke was photographed with Gonzo in the Fall 1985 issue of Muppet Magazine to promote his movie, Explorers. But only one of them returned to revisit their pals as an adult, which is why this Oscar is going to Michael B. Jordan.
Actress in a Leading Role
Jessie Buckley – Hamnet
Rose Byrne – If I Had Legs I’d Kick You
Kate Hudson – Song Sung Blue
Renate Reinsve – Sentimental Value
Emma Stone – Bugonia
Props to Rose Byrne for filming a video for Sesame Street‘s YouTube channel with Elmo reading the book “Dream with Sesame Street” during lockdown in 2021. But this one has got to go to Emma Stone, not just demonstrating the word “balance” in a season 42 episode of Sesame Street (for which she’s gotten a lot of attention in our Oscar prediction articles over the years), but for the announcement that she hopes to produce a Miss Piggy movie with Jennifer Lawrence. First the Oscar, then the Miss Piggy movie, and then the return of CAMPO!
Animated Feature
Arco
Elio
KPop Demon Hunters
Little Amélie or the Character of Rain
Zootopia 2
Let’s be honest. KPop Demon Hunters is a shoo-in to actually win this award. It’s such a phenomenon, the voice actors popped up in a social media video with Cookie Monster just a few months ago. But even better than an overt reference is a subtle one, which is why we’re predicting a Zootopia 2 win for its inclusion of the character “EMT Otter” – presumably a nod to Emmet Otter, and voiced by Muppet fan Yvette Nicole Brown!
Best Original Song
“Dear Me” from Diane Warren: Relentless
“Golden” from KPop Demon Hunters
“I Lied to You” from Sinners
“Sweet Dreams of Joy” from Viva Verdi!
“Train Dreams” from Train Dreams
Okay, fine. THIS award can go to KPop Demon Hunters.
Directing
Chloé Zhou – Hamnet
Josh Safdie – Marty Supreme
Paul Thomas Anderson – One Battle After Another
Joachim Trier – Sentimental Value
Ryan Coogler – Sinners
The Directing category is always tough, since most film directors wouldn’t have an opportunity to cross paths with the Muppets. So we’ll look at their home lives instead. Did you know that Paul Thomas Anderson is married to Maya Rudolph? What if that’s who she was flirting with in the audience of The Muppet Show special? Heck, it might be – I don’t know what he looks like!
Visual Effects
Avatar: Fire and Ash
F1
Jurassic World Rebirth
The Lost Bus
Sinners
I watched The Lost Bus assuming it was about why The Electric Mayhem had to replace their original wheels with a van, but it turned out to be some Matthew McConaughy thriller. So instead, this one will go to Jurassic World Rebirth because the original got spoofed by the Muppets a bunch of times. Okay, like twice. But that’s enough.
Live Action Short Film
Butcher’s Stain
A Friend of Dorothy
Jane Austen’s Period Drama
The Singers
Two People Exchanging Saliva
I’d like to think we’re all friends of Dorothy, so we’ll give this one to Dorothy’s best friend.
Best Picture
Bugonia
F1
Frankenstein
Hamnet
Marty Supreme
One Battle After Another
The Secret Agent
Sentimental Value
Sinners
Train Dreams
Wow, 10 movies and not a single Muppet in any of them. So, which one has the Muppetiest vibe?? Should the Oscar go to the one about the questionable alien? Or the race cars? Or Brazil in the 1970s? Or, I dunno, a train? To my knowledge, only one of these movies featured an actual puppet. And although the puppet in question was a very un-Muppety resurrected corpse, we’ll take the win. Congratulations to Best Picture winner: Guillermo Del Toro’s Frankenstein!
Have fun watching the Academy Awards this weekend, and don’t forget to share the proceeds of your Oscar pool winnings with your favorite Muppet fan site.
Click here to thank the Academy on the ToughPigs Discord!
by Joe Hennes – [email protected]
